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Original poster

Am I stingy? Boyfriend says i am?

390 replies

llpoolj · 29/10/2022 17:39

My boyfriend lives with me.
He earns £700 more than me a month.
He is always "skint"
He said he needed £20 for his phone.
So I said "il take it out of my savings account,just give me it on Monday when you get paid"
So then today he borrows another £10 and says so that's £310 I owe you Monday (£300 half of rent and bills )
I say no £330 ...£20 for phone too
He said "really ,your going to take that off me"
"I only topped up because you wanted me too"
(He didn't -he told me he needed to top up"
So he says "you know I would give you my last"
I said I buy you so much
I spent £10 buying him McDonald's today,I bought the food all week
I spent £170 last week on concert tickets for his birthday -then 2 hoodies for his birthday.
I reminded him of this and he says "no you can't class the tickets for my birthday -you wanted to go too"
I also bought us Xmas pjs for £30 two days ago

So how does he have the audacity to say I'm tight?
I just wanted it back to in my savings.
I'm feeling shitty and horrible now
I'm honestly not tight -I just don't want to get the mick took out of me

We go on holiday in two weeks
I've bought the sun tan lotion,after sun,case straps ,case locks ,luggage tags ,case scales,I bought him shorts for holiday and 2 tees and god knows what else

OP posts:
Hbee88 · 30/10/2022 19:01

Wooooow. Get rid of this loser. Yesterday.

Reigateforever · 30/10/2022 19:02

I agrée with oldbrownjug . Stop buying for him. Really you are not his mother. If he needs things and wants you to go shopping with him, check before you leave the house he has his bank card on him.

Everything 50/50 and don’t let him live off you, he won’t change, he is just using you to enlarge his savings.

Plunger · 30/10/2022 19:03

You're is girlfriend not his Mum/credit card. Stop Now! He's taking you for a mug. He overspends because you allow him to. Stop! Make sure you get repayed then never lend again. Why are you buying his clothes. He's an adult not a child.

Nomsa22 · 30/10/2022 19:11

Been there done that and I still owed money which I won't get back. Get rid of that leech😡

Maffy88 · 30/10/2022 19:11

Ugh honestly dump him and move on. He's not worth it!

Lovaduck74 · 30/10/2022 19:21

Kick him to the curb....now. Its fine to help each other out but this is not what this is.

ThereIbledit · 30/10/2022 19:22

No. NO NO NO. STOP this absolutel fucking INSANITY right now!

STOP topping up his phone (is he that bad with money that he doesn't have a contract phone??)

STOP buying him shit when he earns seven hundred fucking quid more than you!

STOP bailing him out. WHO CARES if he calls you tight? He's a shit boyfriend.

GingerNutMe · 30/10/2022 19:23

Do me a favour and list his good points will you..................

theremustonlybeone · 30/10/2022 19:30

I couldn.t be arsed reading all of that. Speak to friends and dump him

GreekDogRescue · 30/10/2022 19:34

Time to kick this gaslighting cocklodger to the kerb

Redjoy · 30/10/2022 19:36

Get rid. Or face a lifetime of this.

Mlb123 · 30/10/2022 19:46

He knows you're not stingy and knew you would agonise over this and be hurt thinking he might really believe it and you've unfortunately given him the reaction he wanted which was listing the things you bought him so that he could pick fault with something which he did . The concert tickets claiming not a gift as you wanted to go too was to deliberately degrade the generosity of your gift and hurt you as he's pissed off that you are daring to ask for your 20 back as he never intended to pay it back. He's manipulative and he enjoys you being generous so he can take advantage while always claiming to be skint . Just stop treating him and say it is so that he won't be upset when you ask for money back and if he doesn't lend money say he will manage better which will be for the best. Then see how he reacts xxxx

Mlb123 · 30/10/2022 19:50

Regarding the concert tickets you could play him at his own game and act hurt that you believed part of the gift would be that he would want to share this experience with you. You could ask if you had given him the concert tickets whether he would havr chosen someone else to go with. Act really petulant like he did and then see how he reacts. It might sound mad but it's best to know exactly what you are dealing with so you can act accordingly and you may find you need to get away from him xx

bluesapphire48 · 30/10/2022 19:51

"He is saying they don't class as a birthday gift because I'm getting the second ticket as I also like the band so I'm going with him."

"he won't buy anything ,then he will complain that I have new clothes and he has nothing.
I can't win"

He is an entitled spoiled brat. You owe him NOTHING, and if he seriously loved you, he would be DELIGHTED that you got new clothes. I don't know any REAL MAN who would leech off a woman this way. Men who do this are usually called "pimps."

You need to dump this little boy YESTERDAY.

hamptonedge · 30/10/2022 19:51

He need to learn to manage his own money but won't if he knows he can rely on the 'bank of girlfriend.'

SillyOldBucket · 30/10/2022 19:54

Seriously, please dump him now. I promise you it will only get worse. I've been there. I was in the same situation and the responses I received were identical. Several years later I racked up several thousand pounds of debt due to being with a freeloader while his bank account stays several thousand pounds in credit. It will never ever get better

Mlb123 · 30/10/2022 19:58

You are getting told off a lot here, but these ladies are blunt but they truly care and are giving you tough love, but it's hard to read those things when you are confused. You haven't done anything wrong and you were just being generous and were not thinking the entire time about money and who has the most . No doubt you believed he was genuinely skint before and that if he had the money he would not refuse to be fair. I deduced that from him saying to you that he would give you his last. So it will have come as a nasty shock him trying to deprive you of your own money once he got paid . I had all this with my last partner and the times he was the worst towards me was just after I had been generous and sometimes while I was being generous . Look at when this has happened. Just after you bought expensive concert tickets and topped up his phone and bought him holiday clothing. He's simply wanting to keep you feeling unsettled so you keep treating him to prove you are generous and as he gets a kick out of it. I'm so sorry as it's horrible to go through xxx

StClare101 · 30/10/2022 20:00

Dump this loser and take someone else on holidays. How do women end up with such utter fuck wits???

daisychain01 · 30/10/2022 20:00

This man child is a user and a loser.

Get rid, he is not treating you respectfully.

Mamamoo12 · 30/10/2022 20:02

TheRossatron · 29/10/2022 17:43

How can women have sex with these kinds of men and find them attractive?

He's a shameless, freeloading cunt. He would be out of my life and my sight faster than a fart in the wind. Fucking rancid.

This….😂

viques · 30/10/2022 20:08

If the concert ticket isn’t a birthday present then he won’t mind if you don’t give it to him and take someone else instead will he?

He isn’t ever going to ever change, he will be as tight as a gnats arse for the rest of his life, if it’s giving you the itch now you would be better off saying bye and finding someone who has a more realistic idea of fairness.

Bogeyes · 30/10/2022 20:11

Dump him

NazMedusa · 30/10/2022 20:12

Itsallyellow22 · 29/10/2022 17:42

Like why would you buy him clothes for holiday? Are you his mum?

This. He is getting used to you spending money on him and is now taking advantage. Set your boundaries with him. I wouldn't be allowing it at all.

NazMedusa · 30/10/2022 20:16

Mamamoo12 · 30/10/2022 20:02

This….😂

Show quote history

Don't hold back 😂😂😂

I completely agree though. Soooo unattractive. My husband treats me like a queen (financially and does more than his fair share of chores and hands on with the kids). Been with him since we were 17 (we're 39 now) and still fancy the pants off of him! A proper man.

PandoraRocks · 30/10/2022 20:31

I think your boyfriend is one of these: an aquatic or terrestrial annelid worm with suckers at both ends i.e a LEECH 😂