To feel inconvenienced by DH wanting 'better quality' sex

[dhaex]

NC here for obvious reasons, I have no one IRL I am comfortable asking this question.

DH recently has started to sometimes not get it up. He has started to say it's because I don't make an effort (admittedly I don't)

So I am asking if I'm your sex life you have standards? So for example he said he just wants a few basic things to make the sec better. He said he doesn't expect these every time but some of the times.

They are;

• shaven pubic hair
• a bit of makeup
• hair not looking a mess
• a wash beforehand

Are these things reasonable to expect of you before sex? To be honest I just cba to do these things in order to have sex but I also have to understand sex is based on attraction so I am being lazy to not want to do these things but equally we are TTC and to be frank it's wearing me out and I just cannot be bothered.

Please help do you except the above requirements to have sex?

Please don't come on saying what a twat my husband sounds I'm not here to roast him I'm genuinely wanting to know if people make an effort for sex and if so is the above ask fair

Thank you

I'm concerned as to what he might be like after you (God willing) have your baby. A lot of women aren't that into sex for a while and I can see that he might be annoying and unpleasant then, too.

Pregnancy sex, for some, not all, can be great fun. Keep it up if you enjoy it!

No wonder he can't get it up! It doesnt have to be all stockings and suspenders but hve a wash before bed at least for starters love. Its up to both of you to make the effort though remember.

Because nobody wants to find a loose a pube in their mouth. Give it a bit of a trim and it will do wonders!

Fucking hell this thread is depressing as fuck just for the responses!

@dhaex Your husband does not sound like a nice partner.

Agreed. She's now tied to a misogynist pig who is addicted to porn and would choose porn over her even if she begged him to stop watching it. Such a lack of self respect, and bringing a child into it, imo irresponsible and sad for the child. It's not good news at all OP, sorry. Good news would be you saying you've dumped him in the gutter where he belongs and had self worth, walking out with your head held high. This is heartbreaking news.

@PickleRickBauble This thread is almost 2 weeks old. Not 24 hours old. Check the date of the OP.

Exactly. He's a misogynist pig who wants a porn star for a partner and I have no doubt that the OP's husband is going to be exactly like the man in this story www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4673137-is-this-abusive-or-he-just-really-wants-to-ejaculate?latest=1 after OP gives birth. He will be expecting her to have the pre-pubescent overly made up porn star look at the same time OP is feeding her baby and exhausted and lacking sleep. And you know very well her husband will never get up at nights for the baby. Personally I'd terminate but I don't think the OP will do that, so she will live her life tied to this man thinking it's normal behaviour.

Seriously. Those of you that keep dowsing my DH I never came for your opinions on him - you don't know him. This is one thread ab op it how he asked me to make an effort into our sex life which I on reflection agree with.

There are way way worse men to get pregnant (he just he the devil for asking me to put some effort into our sex life ajd watching porn twice a week 🙄) with so I find you slightly ridiculous for saying I'm posting a sorry update as I'm pregnant.

If you're here to say what a tradgedy it is I'm pregnant then I suggest you don't comment because it's kinda fucked up

Don't burn your bridges here OP - you'll be needing Mumsnet support in the years to come.

You're the one who called him a selfish misogynist, OP. If all goes well, that's the father you've saddled your baby with and I'd call THAT fucked up.

End of thread from me, thanks for your replies good and bad - I'm out 👋

Behave yourself.

Its really clear from your posts you don’t like him. You portrayed him as a cunt.

Now are upset people think he is a Cunt. So did you lie about how crap he is?

And ‘worst people to get pregnant to’ is a low bar.

Can not believe you were still having sex, while all this were going on. You thought he was a misogynistic shit but still trying to get pregnant to him?

It’s almost like this thread is bullshit or your want to get pregnant has become obsessive to the point you don’t care about what happens later when the child has a cunt for a dad.

So because there are 'worse' men out there, that means you still accept a shit man? There are much, much, much, much better men out there too. 99% of men are better than yours because 99% of men don't want a prepubescent porn skank lookalike. Are you really, really this desperate for a man you will put up with a porn addict who wants you to dress like a porn actor and who doesn't care about your needs? That's truly, truly sad. I feel sorry for you. I'd rather be alone and have my self respect, than be in your position, in 2022.

You'll be back here if the pregnancy goes well in under one year. Mark our words. You'll be complaining he won't get up for feeds, won't help settle the baby, demands a full nights sleep and demanded that only 2 months post birth you shave you crotch and give him sex, even if you're still bleeding/recovering. Bringing a baby into the world with that maggot as it's father is about the most selfish and irresponsible thing one can do. You'll be back. Because having a bloke that is worse than 99% of men is better than having any self respect and feminist pride, to you. 1940s here you come. Good luck to you, you'll need it. See you in under a years time on here.

I'm hoping the updater isn't actually the OP but some MRA who wants to show that miracles happen when women give in to their partner's porn fantasies.

@JennyNotFromTheBlock Sorry but skank is not a pleasant way to refer to women in porn. The majority of women in porn are being exploited or sexually abused.

@HatThatWearsYou Point taken, I should not have said that word.

I'm so sorry for being that person, I appreciate you taking it in the spirit it was intended!

I wouldn't have a problem with the request, but there's no guarantee he'd get it though!

But it goes both ways. What's your list of requirements? I know I find my DH much sexier when I see him in a nice outfit, than in his PJ bottoms and the holey t-shirt he does DIY in!

I think it's a bit weird that so many are getting upset by someone talking to his/her partner about sex. I'd be more concerned if my husband thought he was doing wrong by talking to me, even if it was just a little fantasy on his part who better for hom to talk about with than me. Same goes for me, if something is bothering me or I feel needs us to do something I'll speak to him.

We'll see @dangermou5e . xx