Husband hobby..

[Angrywife123]

So I'm a sahm to 4 kids 7 & under.. my husbworks longish hours. He pulls his weight at home, I do main bits as expected cause I'm home more. I'd say I seem to do family days alone 60% of the time..

So here's my aibu:
My husband started a hobby about 8 months ago.. no problem.. but he wants to do it every week! Which I think is unreasonable.. he's now having a brat fit that he can't be good if he only goes once a month.. which is bullshit.
Its a whole day activity. If the kids weren't soo young it wouldn't be so bad but I just think it's a lot right now if I'm honest.. it means me carting the younger two around try to get the older two to party's, do homework with them.

The thing is, if you end up getting divorced, he'll have less free time than he does now, most likely, so he won't be enjoying his very special fishing time when he's spending his weekends taking care of four children by himself.

My bloke could have written that post about me....and vice versa.... thankfully we both have the same hobby of match angling so can give and take....also agree once a month he won't get any good at it (match scene) as he is indeed correct that fish chop and change dependant on various factors which are only learnt by experience and regular practice on each specific venue. I suggest you need to get yourself a hobby and take it in turns to have your day off.....alas my little one doesn't like fishing otherwise I'd be out every Saturday and Sunday........ match angling is very much NOT a 60 year old man hobby.... its actually quite hard work, i love challenging my friends to come and try a match - they think it's all waiting on a chair snoozing with a beer. 😂

Did your aunt adopt four children as a single mum ? If so , that’s a wonderful thing she did, I hope she had a supportive family.

If however she had 4 children with her husband then he shared equal responsibility for conceiving the children and bringing them up. Including the noise. I’m pretty sure than after the first one they could work out how they were making them.

You do need to get a hobby for when he's at home. I moan about my DH fishing but the weekends he doesn't go we do stuff together as a family and I do things on my own or with friends, so it's really not that bad, He does carp fishing so different from your DH so he tends to night fish and honestly I quite enjoy the time to myself, he's only 40 not an old man and doesn't do it to get away from his family responsibilities I might add! Lol!

That’s all irrelevant, because he has a family and doesn’t have a day a week to spare on his hobby. If that doesn’t work for the hobby find another one. I have young children and dp and I simply can’t do all the things we used to do or that we want to do. I could easily hobby all week long but I have a job and a family, so I don’t.

What is irrelevant @deeperthanallroses ...... just because you have children doesn't mean you don't deserve a hobby.....it's called compromise......

@deeperthanallroses and for what it's worth, I too work all week and have a family..... if I was deprived of my hobby I would not be a happy mummy and our household would most definitely suffer.

Why can’t she have time on the other day? These things don’t have to be an issue.
Im speaking from someone who is a ‘golf widow’ once a week, I love he has a hobby, I love that he works hard all week and that’s his down time and when he gets home he does absolutely everything as a husband and is supportive and attentive to me and our children and is very hands on with everything to help me. The day he’s at golf I use to see family or friends or just chill with my kids, if I wanted to go out at the weekend he would happily cancel his hobby or change the day. But I’m quite a chilled person who doesn’t need to be doing something so I guess that’s why it works, We have a very respectful and supportive marriage and a happy one at that, we understand and empathise and maybe that’s what’s missing on both sides in this case.

Yeah, that’s not fair. I deffo think you should Bo booking some time for you - and letting him have 4 kids whilst you enjoy a Saturday/Sunday to yourself 👍

Update!!!
I did actually go out for dinner.. he created an atmosphere for days before and texted me the whole night and ruined it.. he apologised.. I asked for the easter weekend for family stuff, he said he had to work actually LIED & went fishing.. I forgave him, he said all the right things but he made even less effort for me and the kids. One day I just snapped and now we are officially separated and life is so much less stressful at home.

Wow, that’s an update and a half. I hope you and the children are well and adjusting to your new life.

There's got to be a compromise here, I would kill for a hobby I really enjoyed, it can contribute to life being meaningful. Once a month is too little, 7-5 once a week is too much. I would do a deal for him taking more weight at other times, including using his annual leave to free you up completely from time to time.

He wasn't willing to compromise; read all the OP's posts. He wanted weekly days to himself, but freaked out when the OP said she wanted the same then. Because he has trust issues, which usually means he's the untrustworthy one. As proven by his lying and his pissing off to fish rather than spend time with the children he wanted.

Hope you're making him take his fair share of having his own children at the weekends, OP.

I'm sure he's looking forward to having 4 DC every other weekend cutting into his fishing whilst you go out.

It will be interesting if he decides he doesn't want to have them EOW so you are still trapped as the parent with care whilst he does as he pleases

Good for you. He clearly had no intention of bing a better husband and father so off he fucks.

Good luck with everything.

Thank you.. we're doing really well.. I've managed to get a little job which I start the weekend & hopefully he won't try stop me doing that.. everything at home just seems easier and more relaxed somehow.

He on the other hand is being childish and trying to get a reaction out of me (which he isn't getting.. unless it's about the children I don't entertain him) he's apparently on line dating already and "he's moving on with his life..blah blah" it's been literally weeks. lol 😂

Oh well done!!! From your recent updates I'd say you're well rid!

My DB fishes and competes in matches regularly, it is his absolute passion (he’s very good by all accounts and even fishes abroad in matches). He has 3 kids. He is absolutely hands on all the rest of the time, he works full time and then when he is home he’s always with them. He fishes every week, the following day he has family days. He takes the kids with him when he is practice fishing/leisure fishing- could that be an option?

I think everyone should make time for a hobby BUT there has to be compromise, he can’t just leave you to parent 4 kids every day alone! When is your down time? Family time?

He’s very stubborn, proud and self-indulgent, OP. FT working, having the children EOW, match fishing (prep, participation, and ‘recovery’) plus OLD? Does he think he has super powers?
😂
Sending every best wish that your job goes well and for your future.