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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband ordered FOR me?

236 replies

SirMoose · 28/10/2022 20:26

Going to start off by saying I have an eating disorder. Quite severely. It effects most areas of my life and I find eating very stressful. My husband knows I have an ED but I don’t think he quite grasps how bad it is and how difficult I find life. I also have some other issues going on currently that are effecting my executive functioning.

We decided this morning to get a takeaway tonight and watch a movie. This is great, I had plenty of time to think about and think about what I want to eat etc. Sat down to order tonight and he starts reeling off food from his mobile to me. Due to my functioning issues atm I found this really stressful as I couldn’t process anything he was saying and said to not worry about it I’ll have a look myself in a minute. I like to look through the menu and argue with myself in my head about what I’m going to eat. It’s just a little ritual I go through.

He then said it will be here in half an hour. So he just went ahead and ordered for me. I know he was trying to just avoid me stressing and thought he was doing a nice thing but I feel so anxious now. I’ve come upstairs for a little cry as I really don’t want to eat now, I feel like all the control has been taken away from me and I have no idea what’s arriving as he told me what he ordered verbally and I just can’t process things.

i know it’s probably me being a twat but Aibu to be this upset?

OP posts:
Blocked · 29/10/2022 10:03

Sounds a bit annoying but as he's usually decent I'd just ask him not to do that again. My DH loves me to order for him because he can't be arsed thinking about what to eat, I'm like you and have to dither about it for ages first.

wacademia · 29/10/2022 22:32

GP doesnt agree and said he will write back but this was 3 months ago.

GP I can’t get through too at all.

Is this because of the receptionist gatekeeping? You need to see your GP.

JoanOfAllTrades · 30/10/2022 02:54

What I can’t understand is why the Cons. Psych. didn’t just refer/move you to someone else. This is and has been done many times. That alone is worth making a complaint about.

So Primary Care say you’re too needy for them! They too should be referring you on. Not leaving you with absolutely no help and a GP who is playing least in sight at a time when you should be having more support and a minimum of weekly appointments.

As to the PP who asked if baby was at risk - this is exactly why you need more support not less. Your DH (unless a qualified psychiatrist) is not qualified to gauge your MH. Some GP’s aren’t even that well qualified!

Is it possible for you, on Monday morning as soon as the GP opens, to be there and sit and wait until you get seen? Ridiculous that you would have to go to these extremes but I can think of anything else that would work.

Original poster
SirMoose · 30/10/2022 05:47

wacademia · 29/10/2022 22:32

GP doesnt agree and said he will write back but this was 3 months ago.

GP I can’t get through too at all.

Is this because of the receptionist gatekeeping? You need to see your GP.

I literally can’t even get through to the receptionist most days. I was number 1 in the queue on hold the other day for 45 minutes and no one answered. When I do get through they just say there’s no available appointments and to phone back tomorrow at 8:30. There used to be an online way of booking but that doesn’t run anymore.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 30/10/2022 06:06

mathanxiety · 29/10/2022 02:37

I mean the cost if you were to self pay.

You can't let money get in the way of making an improvement in your lives.

You what? How can lack of money not get in the way of accessing private health care?

Original poster
SirMoose · 30/10/2022 07:10

Branleuse · 30/10/2022 06:06

You what? How can lack of money not get in the way of accessing private health care?

Show quote history

I know right I’ll just pull it out of my ass 🤣

OP posts:
ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 30/10/2022 08:05

On another note. What did you eat in the end and did you both bloody enjoy it? 😊 I hope so!

Original poster
SirMoose · 30/10/2022 08:28

ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 30/10/2022 08:05

On another note. What did you eat in the end and did you both bloody enjoy it? 😊 I hope so!

We had Chinese and he ordered all the things he knows I like 🥹

OP posts:
helenabonhamfarter · 30/10/2022 08:42

Living with someone with an ED is exhausting.
It will be taking a massive toll on your husband
Food becomes a negotiation where as for most people it is a pleasure.
He will have ordered for you not to be malicious but frankly to put a variety of options in front of you so you could chose what you wanted to put on your plate without it becoming an ordeal

Catlover1970 · 30/10/2022 09:45

I really feel for you. Must be very hard living like this

Original poster
SirMoose · 30/10/2022 10:23

helenabonhamfarter · 30/10/2022 08:42

Living with someone with an ED is exhausting.
It will be taking a massive toll on your husband
Food becomes a negotiation where as for most people it is a pleasure.
He will have ordered for you not to be malicious but frankly to put a variety of options in front of you so you could chose what you wanted to put on your plate without it becoming an ordeal

No he did it because he was being thoughtless, which he admitted to. Which is ok, as I’m also thoughtless sometimes. He knows taking away my control will make things ten times worse. I just want to select my own order. Would have taken 5 minutes.

OP posts:
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