To ask if I should reply to this weird Facebook message?

[thalita605]

Just that really.

Been with DP for 2.5 years, we have an 8mo together and our relationship is good and he's a good dad to DD. He's currently working away and this afternoon I had a message request on FB from what I assume is a teenage boy, although he doesn't have any pictures himself on his account, unless he's made it all private. He said he was DP’s son, he doesn't know if DP has told me about him but he wants to meet. I don't know if this is genuine or not, as he's never mentioned a son, neither has MIL, I've not met other family members as he doesn't speak to them.

I'm not sure if I should reply or not, part of me doesn't think I should but another part things I should. WWYD?

I think you need to get the background of who is mother is and what facts about DH being his father he has been told.
if you don’t you’ll always wonder

he doesn't know if DP has told me about him but he wants to meet

This infers that the boy had had some contact with your DP or that your DP is at least aware he has another child , so why hasn't he asked your DP if he's told you about his son?

Boyfriend? It is a partner of 2.5 years with whom she has an 8 mo! Why undermine the ops relationship by referring to him as a bf?

Maybe he has tried to contact your partner on Facebook and his message ended up in the ‘other’ folder and hasn’t been seen.
I got a Facebook message from someone asking about my dad a few years ago. It turns out she is his daughter - born in the 60s - and he had never known about her as she was given up for adoption.

How is referring to a boyfriend as a boyfriend undermining a relationship?

DP did say he hadn't had a message, but of course he could potentially be lying about that if he doesn't want me to know about the boy.

Tricky one OP, keep an open mind. My mother abandoned me when I was 2, then I "cropped up" aged 30, met my half brother and sister, only to find she'd told a tonne of lies to them about my existence, which involved a lot of back tracking and more lying.

It might be a scam, it may be genuine, and your DH may not necessarily tell the truth, so personally I'd do a bit of digging myself and form my own conclusion.

Unbelievable that some posters would just shut this down immediately and try their hardest to tell themselves that it's definitely just a scam. Imagine if that was your kid, who has clearly already tried to reach out to his dad, and then tried to talk to his half sibling's parent only to be promptly blocked.

I would just send one message saying tell me six things about my husband. Be specific with dates and places.

I'd reply and say you were not aware your partner had a son and ask him for more information like when/where he was born and some information about his mum then speak to your DP.

I agree with this. Surely if it’s not a scam he’s be able to give some linked information.

other than that I’d advise him to contact your Dp. Why is he going through you. Ask him to send his mobile number and then your DP can phone him.

If the kid hasn't seen his dad since he was a baby, his is that going to work?

This.

I'd want to meet him for coffee and explain you werent aware of him, what does he want relationship wise and say youd like a DNA test with your own child or DP to be sure and go from there.

As this child could be related to your child it is no longer DPs sole decision about handling it so you are free to pursue as you see fit DP is shady or wants to choose something different for himself.

He fact he approached you and not DP says it's likely he thinks DP knows about him and previously said he doesnt want contact.

I'd personally be inclined to believe it. What scam goes this way? :s I hope you get some answers. It'd be interesting to know if he has a dad registered on his birth certificate.

I'd be asking him questions

Convenient he doesn’t speak to his side of the family?

I would be too curious to leave it!

My sons dad told his partner our son wasn't his and said he met me when my son was 3 months old. Ended up doing a dna test when I went to claim child maintenance when my son was about 7 and ta da! He is his dad (idiots on the bloody birth cert so god knows how he could say he met us when he was already 3 months old). So his partner only learnt the truth about 5 years in to their relationship when they already had kids. Some times people lie.

Obvs up until he met her he said he was his dad 🤣👎

How did he find out your name?

I would speak to your partner first which you have. Then reply to the boy asking him to tell me all the details he has, giving none yourself. You clearly think your partner may be hiding this from you as you wouldn’t have posted. I’d want to know if the person I was with was capable of lying about something so important.

Don't start chatting to a random child on the internet. Even if he is your partners' son it would be odd. If you don't want to wait for his maybe dad to return, which I'm pretty sure would be the best idea, then suggest to the child that his mother calls you and see what happens.

DNA test will prove beyond doubt if your partner is his father or not.
It IS a strange thing to lie about.

This exact thing was on here before...