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Original poster

To ask if I should reply to this weird Facebook message?

337 replies

thalita605 · 23/10/2022 21:24

Just that really.

Been with DP for 2.5 years, we have an 8mo together and our relationship is good and he's a good dad to DD. He's currently working away and this afternoon I had a message request on FB from what I assume is a teenage boy, although he doesn't have any pictures himself on his account, unless he's made it all private. He said he was DP’s son, he doesn't know if DP has told me about him but he wants to meet. I don't know if this is genuine or not, as he's never mentioned a son, neither has MIL, I've not met other family members as he doesn't speak to them.

I'm not sure if I should reply or not, part of me doesn't think I should but another part things I should. WWYD?

OP posts:
user1471457751 · 24/10/2022 20:17

I would find the no pictures thing suspicious, I would expect to see a profile pic if he sent you a message even if his account was restricted.

MingoDringo · 24/10/2022 20:20

I would reply and say you've got the wrong person.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 24/10/2022 20:22

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 24/10/2022 19:49

This is a standard scam/prank. Seen it loads of times. Ignore.

With loads of different partners or loads of times with the same partner?

Weird that you would be such a scam magnet

cookiecreammmpie · 24/10/2022 20:28

I would. My eldest son's father has never been involved or met my son. Some of my family members reached out to his wife and told her over Facebook and she swiftly blocked them and no doubt pulled the wool over her ears. These things happen.

Lindy2 · 24/10/2022 20:29

I'd assume that you'd very quickly be asked for some cash. A crisis, travel costs to visit your DP, medical treatment etc.

I'd not reply. If there is a son then it's between your DP and the son. It's not really for you to get involved. I'd be very suspicious.

lentilly · 24/10/2022 20:30

Why would he want to meet you though

ChrissyPh1 · 24/10/2022 20:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ as it's the work of a previously banned poster.

thelobsterquadrille · 24/10/2022 20:32

I would bet good money that it's true.

There are lots of shitty men out there who abandon their kids and deny them. My own ex denied the existence of three of them 🙄

ChrissyPh1 · 24/10/2022 20:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ as it's the work of a previously banned poster.

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 24/10/2022 20:41

Keep an open mind. Ask him about his mum and then speak to DH. I think it could be very cruel to assume it's a scam and block him. What if it's true? Ask them both to do a DNA test.

AlicesAttic · 24/10/2022 20:42

The boy is clearly considerably older than your relationship so it's perfectly possibly DP may have a son from a past relationship, even if he doesn't know about it. If doesn't mean he's lying to you or has kept something from you.

One of my male colleagues had a young man turn up in a similar way; colleague had no ideas that as well as his three teenage children, he also had a 25 year old son, conceived on a holiday romance long before he met his wife.

Luredbyapomegranate · 24/10/2022 20:43

KitchiHuritAngeni · 23/10/2022 21:28

I would reply to get his name, mum's name and his dob. Then I would do a little digging, and only then I would tell DP when I had the facts.

He’s her partner not her nemesis

Just ask him

FuchsAndMöhr · 24/10/2022 20:47

KitchiHuritAngeni · 23/10/2022 21:28

I would reply to get his name, mum's name and his dob. Then I would do a little digging, and only then I would tell DP when I had the facts.

Why? Why would you not go straight to your DP? 🤷🏼‍♀️

SpinningFloppa · 24/10/2022 21:02

It’s amazing how many people think its a scam and to just block him! Really? Maybe he’s messaged the dad and he’s ignored him so he is trying the op, if it’s a scam it will become obvious but to just block him without even trying to find out if it’s true?

HarrowCatlady · 24/10/2022 21:02

Seems odd that he's popped up just while your DP is away.

Definitely tackle this with your DP together

KitchiHuritAngeni · 24/10/2022 21:30

FuchsAndMöhr · 24/10/2022 20:47

Why? Why would you not go straight to your DP? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Show quote history

Pretty naive to assume he would be confronted with something he may have lied to the op about for years and then suddenly tell the truth all of a sudden.

It may even be that he doesn't know himself, or that it's a scam, or the wrong person, or his 'dad' has been ignoring him, or any number of other things, so I would want to be in possession of as many facts as possible first.

FuchsAndMöhr · 24/10/2022 21:33

KitchiHuritAngeni · 24/10/2022 21:30

Pretty naive to assume he would be confronted with something he may have lied to the op about for years and then suddenly tell the truth all of a sudden.

It may even be that he doesn't know himself, or that it's a scam, or the wrong person, or his 'dad' has been ignoring him, or any number of other things, so I would want to be in possession of as many facts as possible first.

Show quote history

This says more about your trust issues that it does about my naivety!

chocolateandtea123 · 24/10/2022 21:33

I'd be way too curious not to reply. Even if it turned out to be untrue

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 24/10/2022 21:33

HarrowCatlady · 24/10/2022 21:02

Seems odd that he's popped up just while your DP is away.

Definitely tackle this with your DP together

Why is that odd? What difference would him being away make?

Vapeyvapevape · 24/10/2022 21:40

I wouldn't be surprised if this is a scam , I'd ask the lad some questions first.

Original poster
thalita605 · 24/10/2022 21:43

I can't see any pictures of him on his account but as I said in my OP, he might have them where only friends can see. I can see his profile picture but it's a picture of a football team's badge.

I have no idea what kind of scam this could be as he knew DP’s name and I don't think a scammer would to go into that much detail?

I'd not reply. If there is a son then it's between your DP and the son. It's not really for you to get involved.
I’d agree, but I think it would be for me to get involved, especially as he could be DD’s half brother

OP posts:
KitchiHuritAngeni · 24/10/2022 21:43

FuchsAndMöhr · 24/10/2022 21:33

This says more about your trust issues that it does about my naivety!

Show quote history

Getting facts together before asking someone, who has potentially been lying to you, is pretty sensible.

Why would anyone trust someone 100%, blindly, no questions asked, that's just stupid. Guess you'll have to learn that the hard way.

lljkk · 24/10/2022 21:45

I'd totally engage with (talk to) the random Facebook poster. Why does he want to meet you?

Jellykat · 24/10/2022 21:47

Find out the boys mothers name, do some online digging, then if you find anything talk to DP again.
Its possible he genuinely knows nothing about it if true.

Fenella123 · 24/10/2022 21:50

I guess you could have a video call with him and his mother. And then see what you think following that. You get the benefit of being able to see and hear and talk to them while being safely in your own house. You can see whether he looks at all like your DP, hear whether the story sounds plausible, whether they sound straightforward or like they're embroidering.