To think women should have more sway in naming babies

[yellowbottles]

Lighthearted. Ish. Maybe.

AIBU in thinking women should have the most say in naming their children?

I'm about 8 weeks away from giving birth and still deep in what has been a physically awful pregnancy. I've been incredibly ill throughout and it's taken me to the edge mentally and emotionally.

DH and I married last year. I took on his name, in an ideal world I would have double barreled but my maiden name was already a double barreled name, so I decided to take on my new husbands surname. Our baby will have his surname.

We're getting to the naming baby crunch talks, and we can't decide! He has his favourites, I have mine. AIBU to think that, as he gets to pass his surname on to baby, and as recognition of a bloody rough 9 months that I've endured, I should have final say on first-naming our baby?

YABU

I think both parents should like thier child's name. I did insist on my dad's name as a middle name for my son but I think both parents need to agree on the first name.

You carry the baby, you give birth so you should get to make all decisions for the rest of the child’s life.

Parenting is making decisions as a team.

Oh my gosh no. Children are 50/50

We had 2 names picked and I picked on the day, just before my section. There was no argument. Hard to argue with a woman who's about to be cut open 🤣

If ye genuinely cannot make a decision by the time baba comes between names ye both like I think it's OK for you to get the final say then, otherwise the child will be nameless forever 😅 I think that usually happens anyway.

I don't agree with the woman getting the final say just because they carried the baby. It's not like we choose it 😅

Exactly, and I wouldn’t give up the day job.

Yeah, balls to your husband. Anyone would think it was his child too!!

It has to be something you both agree on. If you don’t like each other’s choices you need to come up with more options.

Maybe give your maiden name - or part of it - as your baby’s middle name.

We both agreed on DS’s first name and middle name. His surname is my surname - DH’s surname. I didn’t change mine when I married.

personally I think you are being very unreasonable, but to be fair you are close to giving birth and therefore very understandable

We did not know in advance of our baby would be a girl or boy. We agreed that DH would pick a boys name and I would pick a girls name. We both liked the others pick. It was a boy. He was named DH's pick.

Personally I agree, I think you should get to make the choice - allowing DH to veto any names he truly cannot stand. (We all have those names we loathe.)

I choose DS's name. It was on my list from the get-go and DH warmed to it over a few months so that, by 8 months, it was our top choice.

I named our three. DH is so laid back he agreed with all my suggestions. Job done.

Ok so I’m just curious here. In the case of a daughter …Would it make a difference if he said it was an ex GF’s name?

I certainly have names of ex’s that I wouldn’t be too keen on naming my child.
I also have a few names, that in my experience, have a higher probability of being batshit crazy. (Yes it’s not all people with this name, but the number that personally know are). Like do both get a certain number of no questions asked vetos while deciding?

Yep and he's already getting 50% of the name.

My ndn sent her dh to register baby Susan. Came back and announced their dd was actually called Amanda.

Wait and see which name baby suits.

This was my aunt. She was supposed to be Susan, but my gramps didn’t like it so she was registered as Suzanne.

I was supposed to be Margret, but luckily mum got to the birth certificate first and named me what she wanted.

I agree with you. We did manage to come up with something we both liked for ours though.

I'd wait until you see the baby anyway. We had various names picked out but the baby didn't look like it suited them so we chose another name off the list. Just try to imagine yelling the name up the stairs fifteen times a day and then you'll know if it's the right one 😂

Well I think they should, given they have to go through 9 months of pregnancy and God knows how much of labour. But many men, including mine don’t agree. But I’m glad I didn’t get my way for DD as he’s name does suit her so much more. And not just as it’s her name, but due to heritage etc. I don’t think I’d have gone with my name anyway, I was so annoyed that I didn’t get more say when I had to do most of the hard work

Yes I do think women should have more say in naming their children.

Whenever I see threads where pregnant women are saying their husband is vetoing all of their names and suggesting terrible ones I just think ‘ you are carrying the baby’!

I’m all for equality of parenting but really? A women carries baby for 9 months and then goes through child birth and they don’t even get to have a greater input into naming their child.. madness! Biology doesn’t not allow for equality so at least steal one thing back to make it ‘equal’.

Then you can keep discussing the name choices until you find one you both like. You need to be a team in the life ahead. Teams agree on things.

Finally say for you yes. But don't be silly and name your child 'chair' or 'postbox' if you get what I'm saying

I let my partner choose the name. Obviously nothing I hated and we both agreed but my stance was that I had carried the baby for 9 months, got to have the experience of feeling kicks, movements etc & had a bond with her before she was even born, whereas he didn't get any of that so felt he should get to choose a name.