Was it unfair the school called social services on my 4 year old?

[Sky1992]

So just seeking for some advice....

AIBU assuming that my daughter school took it too far calling the social services over a lie she made up?

I have twin girls 4 year old. On Friday one of them had a little scab from fighting with her sister. A teacher asked what happened she said I was peeling her scab and hit her with a hanger.
When asked by senior staff she demonstrated with a paint brush a hard blow to her arm. The school then called social services because apparently an item for abuse was used they called police who said this isn't a police matter. At the end of the school day me and my partner were waiting whilst the social worker spoke to my daughter who very clearly had a great time and was giggling and even said I'm just joking. Just to be on the safe side the SW came for a quick house visit and was happy to leave it there saying she will close the case. My question is was the school too extreme calling the SS knowing this daughter of mine does tell porkie pies (this isn't her first time)?

Did the school "over react"?

P.s I never hit my children I was hit as a child and saw the effects it had on me. My daughter does tell fibs and we had a very long convo about this after. To make matters worse I'm a primary school teacher and these sort of fibs and having services invovled can effect my career.

Hmmm and no mention of the LADO (term varies by local board)

I say the school followed procedure and acted appropriately. Even if a lie, they have a safeguarding duty and honestly I'd rather things be investigated than assumed to be a lie and ignored potentially further risking a child of harm. If you're children are safe, nothing to be worried about, if they aren't then quite rightly social services should be involved

No it is absolutely justifiable that the school called Social services, understandably you will be upset but it was the right thing for them to do. In your case it was your child telling lies but in many cases it might not be and already far too many children slip through the net without teachers/school being criticised for doing the right thing with regards to safeguarding. I'm surprised as a primary school teacher you don't see it from a safeguarding pov.

They did exactly what they are meant to do.

The response of the social worker is sadly typical. They will often make it clear that they are annoyed that schools haven’t investigated an incident before reporting, but schools are not an investigating agency. We don’t have training in collecting best evidence, and that is not our job. We are meant to report to police and social services.

A child with a history of disclosing abuse and then retracting allegations would make me more, not less concerned too.

I haven't read everyone's resposes but have read yours.

The bit you seem to be missing is it is not the job of the school to judge..

Your dc may not be at risk but assessment is by other agencies. It builds up a picture..

This process may save just one child. Reporting everything to a central agency is so important. You only have to go back to the high profile cases to see why

You surely can’t be a teacher as you seem to not understand how it works. You’re saying you’d definitely report it, but not to SS. That would be be your decision to make. You’d report it to the DSL who clearly has to follow policies and procedures and report it. They can’t use discretion. It’s clear what they have to do.

I'm a DSL. The reality is that it is against the law in this country to hit a child with an implement, which is what your DD reported if I've understood correctly, so it's strange that you were told this "isn't a police matter". I'm not saying you should have been "arrested", but in these situations schools are normally advised to report to the police. It's also strange that you're asking whether the school "went overboard" by informing Children's Services. Whilst it is correct that class teachers report concerns and it is usually the DSL who deals with referrals, I would expect any member of school staff who has undertaken basic safeguarding training to know that if a child makes a direct disclosure of physical abuse the school have no choice but to inform CS. We cannot use our discretion or judgement, as we do in many other situations, if a child

Sorry posted too soon, if a child says an adult has hurt them we have to act. It doesn't matter if that child has a history of making allegations, we have a legal duty to report. Any adult working in a school should know this.

but the nature of this case is more different than an average child claiming of abuse

@Sky1992 Why do you think that?

Do you have zero concept of how dangerous it would be for school staff to start thinking “Oh that’s Mary, she does stuff like that, let’s just ignore it?”

You might be scoffing at people, but you’re showing a serious lack of understanding in thinking for even a second that the school may have been in the wrong.

I want to know what the humble comma did to offend the OP.

It’s part of basic safeguarding training.

The post was just asking if the school went too far KNOWING she has made lies up before around abuse.

But you KNOW that kids who are abused lie all of the time.

They will change their stories about how they got their injuries or say something and then take it back and say they were joking.

Your DD would be the definition of a child that is being abused, so I can’t see why you would think they’ve gone too far by reporting their concerns.

If this was the first ever time she had an injury or mentioned abuse then maybe they would have jumped the gun but a child having frequent injuries, saying they’re being abused and then retracting it would have me not being able to sleep at night with worry.

I know you are just angry/upset right now so probably aren’t thinking clearly which is why you made this thread.
But I also find it surprising that you are not more concerned that your child is lying about being abused.

I'm not so sure. I know plenty of teachers that wouldn't know what happens once they raise a concern. Despite training i think they think the DSL acts as judge and jury before escalating to agencies.

You’re a teacher! How the hell do you not know they am we’re doing the right thing?

what do you want to happen to children whose parents hit them and they confide in a teacher?

In our school it would have been logged but wouldn’t have been reported at this stage. We would have spoken to the parents about it.

I work in paediatrics and there are lots of children that have been brought in by social services for a medical examination after teachers have spotted something or a child has disclosed it. Many are fine but it HAS to be explored for the safety of those children.

Can you imagine the backlash if school didn’t follow safeguarding and that child ended up severely beaten or worse at a later day.

Who would have spoken to parents? That’s number one on the list of what NOT to do surely?!

I have the very most basic level of safeguarding training and know that the school did exactly what they should have done

in your shoes I would however be asking for a meeting with the school to explain the context further

• I love how many people are mad at me for being a teacher who isn't bothered to type properly and correctly lol. The funny part is this is a genuine post with some wild comments. Iv had people telling me since I was abused I must abuse her to my 4 year old is a psycho to yeah pop her in a drama class

Calm down*

You're saying you were abused @Sky1992 ?

im not even sure what I’m reading. They didn’t call them on your child. They called them on you. And as a teacher you should know allegations of abuse need to be investigated.

'pop in her a drama class' is what you took from my post?! And its hardly 'wild'
My post is actually advising you that you need to address your childs needs and her lies and take action to support her but nevermind carry on as you are.

Why can’t you get through a sentence without adding a lol?

I find that quite staggering. I wasn’t a teacher, but even the basic safeguarding training I had as school staff made very clear the processes.

Teachers should know the outline - if for nothing else they should know where to go next if the DSL is the subject of a report/a concern.

Then as an organisation, and as individuals in the case of DSL trained staff, you are failing your statutory duty to safeguard children. If a child discloses that they have been deliberately hurt by an adult schools have an obligation to report to CS, and in this case where the disclosure relates to assault with an implement, the Police.

There is no way you are a teacher, sorry!