Was it unfair the school called social services on my 4 year old?

[Sky1992]

So just seeking for some advice....

AIBU assuming that my daughter school took it too far calling the social services over a lie she made up?

I have twin girls 4 year old. On Friday one of them had a little scab from fighting with her sister. A teacher asked what happened she said I was peeling her scab and hit her with a hanger.
When asked by senior staff she demonstrated with a paint brush a hard blow to her arm. The school then called social services because apparently an item for abuse was used they called police who said this isn't a police matter. At the end of the school day me and my partner were waiting whilst the social worker spoke to my daughter who very clearly had a great time and was giggling and even said I'm just joking. Just to be on the safe side the SW came for a quick house visit and was happy to leave it there saying she will close the case. My question is was the school too extreme calling the SS knowing this daughter of mine does tell porkie pies (this isn't her first time)?

Did the school "over react"?

P.s I never hit my children I was hit as a child and saw the effects it had on me. My daughter does tell fibs and we had a very long convo about this after. To make matters worse I'm a primary school teacher and these sort of fibs and having services invovled can effect my career.

Okay so your daughter has told lies in the past... if she came to you and told you a teacher at school had sexually abused her would you a) tell her she's a liar and to stop making things up, b) take it seriously and follow the appropriate channels in investigating whether it could be true or not?

I really hope b. Just because she has lied in the past doesn't mean the school can or should assume everything that comes out of her mouth going forward is a lie. You really should know that as a teacher yourself. Imagine if she actually had been hit with a hanger and they just told her to stop lying - that's how kids end up dead.

If a child is coming into school with frequent injuries and has mentioned abuse before and then says they’ve been hit with an object so hard that it’s broken the skin - would you not raise a concern?

I would have serious concerns about anyone who wouldn’t report this.

This

If a child did what my daughter did then obviously I would report it. I have a duty of care but NO to most of you I seen to know nothing lol. The post was just asking if the school went too far KNOWING she has made lies up before around abuse.

Your safeguarding training will have taught you that no matter what a child has told your previously the report still has to be made in the same way as if it were a first disclosure. It is not unheard of for children to disclose then say they were lying in order to protect the abusive parent they love.

YABVU. Of course the school behaved appropriately. And of course they're not going to change their safeguarding policy just because your daughter is a known liar

You’re a teacher? Book yourself on a safeguarding refresher course. The school were absolutely right to have involved social care.

But you KNOW they haven't.

Because as a teacher you KNOW what the safeguarding policies and procedures would be...

Jesus OP you look worse with every post you make.

Did you listen to any of the safeguarding training you received? Do you actually understand safeguarding? Because to an outsider it doesn’t look like you do.

I see that you understand that you would report it as a teacher, but you seem to think that the school would then just say 'probably lying let's just leave it there' which is OBVIOUSLY not the case and anyone with any half decent safeguarding training in schools would know that this is not the case. Just because you don't personally know what happens next when you report something, surely you know that the DSL has a procedure in place to report it and follow through. If you don't know that then you are not sufficiently trained in safeguarding in schools.

I couldn't get past 'porkie pies'. Had to stop reading.

@Sky1992

As a teacher you should know that school are under a duty to report any allegation a child makes- of physical abuse or any abuse. You're wrong if you think they only reported it as you allegedly used an instrument. Your 4 year old DD alleged that you assaulted her. The school can add context that child has said things before for attention that have turned out to be unreliable (ie untrue) but they are still required to report it.

It sounds to me that they did so with a context as otherwise you would have had a joint visit from social worker and police officer within 24 hours after they had jointly spoken to her t school with a teacher present as an App Adult (without your knowledge)

As it was you got a phone call and a quick visit from a SW who appears to have said it was a lie and unsubstantiated
That will be recorded officially and show aa a part of a pattern that your DD is unreliable witness and has a history of telling fibs for attention. They still have to do an enquiry for every allegation though

Your bigger problem is that your DD is telling fibs that could put your job at risk. You do need to talk to her about consequences of telling lies. That it's important to talk to people if an adult had hurt her and tell her the story of Peter and the Wolf who cried wolf.

There's an Osbourne book called "Dont tell Lies Lucy" that is helpful with this. £5.39 from Amazon

Don't Tell Lies, Lucy! (Cautionary Tales) amzn.eu/d/2nP92Eh

Also Write to school and tell them that from recent incident, you are addressing her fibs telling with this book and ask if there is anything else they can suggest, as you want to look into what is going on for her to do so and help her understand the importance of telling truth. It ensures it becomes a shared responsibility then and gets recorded.

I had the opposite OP. My ex was always rough with our DS and I called the NSPCC a couple of times with concerns and they did fuck all. My DS then told school that his dad hits him and left a bruise. The school told me but had no intention of calling childrens services because they didn't believe him. I had to beg them to. My ex is no longer in DSs life because of the abuse.

She has a wild imagination I guess but part of me I guess felt like it was a tad bit extreme knowing that she tells porkie pies as it is.

You keep repeating this but how are school supposed to know she tells ‘porkie pies’?

The fact that you have given zero evidence of other ‘porkie pies’ she has actually told the school makes me think you are exaggerating this so you can blame the school.

And the way you minimise it all as ‘porkie pies’ and ‘fibs’ makes me think you actually haven’t even tried to explain to dd about lying.

Trust SS they are pretty good at weeding out real cases of abuse

we had the gp, school nursery and school nurse built a case over months - they had meetings and wrote a report accusing me of serious abuse BEFORE involving SS (which they shouldn’t have done it should have been concerns reported and SS lead an investigation) we had a CP investigation i wa terrified as had 4 separate ‘professionals’ against me but the SW pulled their whole case apart she was actually amazing. Investigation was done, report issued with no concerns, school nursery and school nurse told off, gp apologised to us in writing and case closed within a month

Its always twins guys.

I agree with other PPs points

As a teacher it sounds like you would benefit from a safeguarding refresher training including
-Your local child safeguarding board procedures of which education and schools are signed up partners
-Safeguarding is everyone's business

• Every child matters

I'm another calling bullshit. Any teacher or adult working with children knows that you don't just" pass on safeguarding concerns to the DSL". There are some concerns that you have to go straight to the police with and if it can be proved that you failed to act, you yourself can be in trouble.

If there is any truth in this, the OP should be asking why her 4yo needs to lie so often.

I totally agree with you @TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross . I would never normally comment on someone's grammar etc.in here, but in this case it's appropriate .

So you report to social services but don’t think other teachers should report you?

And I agree with Simon, it’s always bloody twins 🙄

This is a very odd post.

If you are really a teacher yourself, then you need some serious training...

Of course the school did the right thing. They have to take these type of claims seriously and immediately take action. They are simply following safeguarding procedures and reporting any potential sign of abuse so it can be investigated appropriately.

''@Sky1992 ·
Lol some of you really take it out of context 😂''

Again, this from a teacher? odd to say the least.

Please don't share stories of your own children on this thread. I've got a funny feeling it's tabloid fodder.

Or a bored teen thinking it might be fun to have twins who play tricks on their parents.

^ This

i can’t see how a primary school teacher doesn’t know that what happened is exactly what SHOULD happen when I child says they have been physically chastised with an implement.

You are a Primary School teacher with no understanding of safeguarding? You need training immediately. Please ask your headteacher for a refresher course

Yes... I'm a teacher too and am concerned by this.