Was it unfair the school called social services on my 4 year old?

[Sky1992]

So just seeking for some advice....

AIBU assuming that my daughter school took it too far calling the social services over a lie she made up?

I have twin girls 4 year old. On Friday one of them had a little scab from fighting with her sister. A teacher asked what happened she said I was peeling her scab and hit her with a hanger.
When asked by senior staff she demonstrated with a paint brush a hard blow to her arm. The school then called social services because apparently an item for abuse was used they called police who said this isn't a police matter. At the end of the school day me and my partner were waiting whilst the social worker spoke to my daughter who very clearly had a great time and was giggling and even said I'm just joking. Just to be on the safe side the SW came for a quick house visit and was happy to leave it there saying she will close the case. My question is was the school too extreme calling the SS knowing this daughter of mine does tell porkie pies (this isn't her first time)?

Did the school "over react"?

P.s I never hit my children I was hit as a child and saw the effects it had on me. My daughter does tell fibs and we had a very long convo about this after. To make matters worse I'm a primary school teacher and these sort of fibs and having services invovled can effect my career.

what needed to be said was said on the first two pages of the thread, everyone else came here to spit on the fallen body as they passed because they could.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Damsel in distress 🤨

But the issue here is that OP is claiming to be a school teacher and so SHOULD have a very firm grip on safeguarding and why there can be no presumption that a child is from a ‘certain kind of home’ and therefore can’t be being abused.

Even before I worked in a school, there was an incident with one of my DCs and I went straight to the school so that they could put it on record because I knew how it might look and wanted to make sure they had the full story, even though it didn’t paint me in an amazing light. As a responsible parent - and most especially as someone who has a responsibility to OTHER PEOPLE’S children, the OP should be pleased that the school took her DD’s allegation seriously enough to report it.

@Hobnobswantshernameback It’s before midday on a Sunday and you’ve called me a random stranger on the internet a Wanker?

Are you okay? - I genuinely mean that because you attitude is so unnecessary..

@Somethingsnappy I understand your response and hasn’t thought of it in that regard, thank you. You’d hope if it is a troll Mumsnet will be able to sus them out and delete this thread altogether..

I'm grand my lovely
just peachy
lol

It's not uncommon for school children to lie. Loads do. Many don't. Both of mine did. Seriously. Many teachers of reception etc see this.

I do think OP needs help and support re one twin lying.

Lol funny thing is if I didn't mention I'm a class teacher then....
a) I wouldn't be bashed left right centre for my grammar which is mainly down to auto correct and I can't be bothered to type correctly or ensure its formal

b) I wouldn't be corned for not knowing about safeguarding enough etc and yes I would have reported it if a child told me ofcourse but the nature of this case is more different than an average child claiming of abuse

well, yes OP. Why? Because decent grammar standards are expected for a teacher. And at the very least a basic understanding of safeguarding processes are also expected.

Schools have to report if a child claims they have been hit with something, I'm a DSL and have had to do referrals for this, the school are simply reporting and following safeguarding protocols. Your DD had a scab and claimed to be hit with a hanger, schools can't decide whether it's true or not, that's what SS do.

And the notion you thought you had made “a point” by saying you wouldn’t have een picked up on your poor grammar and lack of knowledge re safeguarding processes if you’d not mentioned you were a teacher is - baffling in itself

This is why I always made sure my sons teachers knew what his strange looking red birthmark was that looks like fingernail pinch marks all up his leg and stretches the bigger he gets. My worst nightmare. Yanbu op.

People pointing out that a teacher should have a basic understanding of safeguarding aren’t being mean or bullying.

Its as understandable as questioning a blind pilot or an accountant with arthimophobia.

Particularly when it’s the second “was the school being mean to report my child’s comments to social services” in a couple of days that was blatantly obvious that the school absolutely followed procedure.

I commented early on saying you needed to be very firm with your daughter so she understands the consequences of her lie. I think the ‘wild imagination’ and ‘fibs’ is making it sound less serious than it is and 4 isn’t too young to know that.

Ive yet to read many other genuine offers I’d advice just page after page of people pulling you to shreds.

Well, quite.

can you imagine the responses if a teacher came on here saying she’s under investigation because she’d failed to report disclosed abuse “because the child has form for fibbing”, and that child has now turned up seriously injured or worse?

Whenever a big child abuse case hits the headlines, the comments are full of “why didn’t anyone notice?” “The teacher knew and did nothing!”

Even with “form” we must take everything seriously, to cover our own behinds. The DSL needs a more solid reason than “yeah she lies a lot” to not report, to cover their own behinds.

Better to look into it and find nothing, than ignore it and an avoidable tragedy strikes.

There has been plenty of real advice. OP just doesn't want it.

Several of us have suggested that the real issue for concern is a 4 year old who casually lies about a specific form of abuse to a teacher (a position of authority) in a setting that she's been in for presumably less than a year. That for me as a parent would set off some real alarm bells that I'd damn well be pursuing. Not coming on here complaining about the school following routine safeguarding procedure and potential damage to my reputation.

I said this on tbt other thread the other day - threads on here can be a real example of when people say “Why didn’t people notice? Why didn’t tbt teachers/doctors/nursery staff do something to help that poor child?” they don’t mean their child or children they know or children of good parents, they just mean those really obviously abused children of obviously nasty parents - which just shows their complacency and inexperience in how and where abuse actually happens.

Plus how much form for lying can a child of 4 who has been at school for what 6-8 weeks actually have?

And how well can the teacher actually know the child?

Actually, you're legally required to make contact yourself if the DSL is unavailable.

You probably need to read KCSIE 2022 properly.

I have year six this year. We’re quite a small school, so I have taught many of them earlier on. A very awkward age for exaggeration and tattle-taling on each other! But by now we have a history to work with, and know whose stories to take more seriously! We’ve had some very obviously made-up tales involving children who weren’t even in that day.

In Reception they’ve only been full-time for a month or so, we don’t know the children well, we’ve met the parents only enough to recognise that we’re actually sending out to a parent and not a randomer off the street!

You're a primary school teacher, and you don't see why the school raised this?

If the OP is real, she also makes concerning presumptions about the "average child claiming abuse".
Safeguarding training teaches you never to assume or prejudge anything

OP the way you phrase your first post is very odd (call ss on my four year old). It sounds as if you feel that it’s some form of punishment of her. The school followed procedure, they refer all disclosures of abuse and it’s up to social services to assess whether there’s any risk to the child. The school doesn’t weed out referrals. You do have an odd perception of social services for someone who is a teacher.

I'm training to be a social worker and yes, I think it's perfectly reasonable.

My twins have been in their school for the past 2 years they were in nursery for a full academic year and a half a year before that. The staff know me very well on a personal level and how they do I won't bother mentioning that. So this isn't the first time....

Your twins are 4 and they've been in mainstream school for two years and nursery for 18 mths before that?

Do you want to tell us more about the abuse ensured by you, referred to earlier?

😂but @JanglyBeads - OP is a TEACHER. I'm sure her twins are very educationally advanced.