Was it unfair the school called social services on my 4 year old?

[Sky1992]

So just seeking for some advice....

AIBU assuming that my daughter school took it too far calling the social services over a lie she made up?

I have twin girls 4 year old. On Friday one of them had a little scab from fighting with her sister. A teacher asked what happened she said I was peeling her scab and hit her with a hanger.
When asked by senior staff she demonstrated with a paint brush a hard blow to her arm. The school then called social services because apparently an item for abuse was used they called police who said this isn't a police matter. At the end of the school day me and my partner were waiting whilst the social worker spoke to my daughter who very clearly had a great time and was giggling and even said I'm just joking. Just to be on the safe side the SW came for a quick house visit and was happy to leave it there saying she will close the case. My question is was the school too extreme calling the SS knowing this daughter of mine does tell porkie pies (this isn't her first time)?

Did the school "over react"?

P.s I never hit my children I was hit as a child and saw the effects it had on me. My daughter does tell fibs and we had a very long convo about this after. To make matters worse I'm a primary school teacher and these sort of fibs and having services invovled can effect my career.

I was an early years practitioner for several years before becoming a teacher. And anyone who works in a school knows very well you report it and that is all you can do. I won't even know the update of any cases unless it was a neccessity for me to know which in most cases I don't get informed. That's the way it works. Designated safe guarding leads take over and as a teacher etc you can't even ask for an update. Some of you are actually pathetic you act like you know it all lol get a grip. School teacher have to report it but that's all they can do.

It’s not really a lol-ing matter and nobody is taking it out of context. We’re all seeing it within context, especially those of us who work in schools and know the procedures.

TBH our safeguarding lead would be just as concerned about a child who lies about abuse as they would about one who’s being abused. She’s clearly looking for attention in some very unhealthy ways so that in itself would raise alarm bells for us.

I'm disappointed the police acted that way in this day and age.

How the school acted is just how they must act in these circumstances -it's a safeguarding, legal protocol they're required to follow. Imagine if they did nothing and a child went on to be severely harmed by a parent.

You're very lackadaisical when it's such a serious thing.

Yeah I really have no idea how to help her with her attention seeking techniques it's like if I don't do as she wants she just rages out like this like literally the night before she was annoyed that I didn't sit on the carpet for her to fall asleep and in the morning she was really annoyed with me because I did her sisters hair first. I guess in some ways this might be a good opportunity for me to ask the school to explore more about her and see where these lies are originating from because I just can't see it. I treat her equally with her twin sister they both are very bright I guess she might need some help in school to really figure out what's going on. I just don't like the accusations regardless of how innocent I am and at the same time I want to help her she's only 4 and it worries me the child she may turn into if I ignore this.

Yup sorry the police should have arrested me, locked me up and put me in jail for my daughter making fibs that I hit her. Gosh the police ought to do their jobs properly! And let me guess my 3 children should be immediately taken out of my dangerous care. Yeah that sounds rational nd fair doesn't it.

OP most of the posters here aren't trying to help you so I would step away and ignore all updates. Many children go through a phase of making up stuff - very often about people being mean to them - without there being any real cause for concern. If you want to discuss that more, you'd be better starting a new thread with posters who haven't already smelt blood.

Are you sure you're a teacher?

that's a tad bit extreme

If you're a teacher, then you need remedial safeguarding training. The school had no choice.

Do you know what psychosis is?

You are a primary teacher???

Yes.

You’re getting a bit piled on here.

I’m betting you can safeguard in your profession just fine, but this is very personal and close to home so you’re feeling perhaps stressed/insecure/annoyed (insert whatever fits lol) and have coke on for a bit of a moan/vent?

I’ve possibly gotten this wrong but this is probably how I would feel in this situation.

Come on even (not coke on) 😂

coke on lmao

I mean whatever helps you cope lol 😂

Funnily enough I wasn't worried, stressed scared at all. I know she has made up lies like this before and more than anything I know we don't abuse our children. I honestly made this post just to see if the school went too far. Even the social worker that came literally said to me this is soo silly, and how it was a waste of her time and she has to do what she has to do and she even had a pop at the schools assistant head and said to her "could you not have asked her to demonstrate again and more accurately because the minute I asked her she giggled and said she's joking because she was sad that mummy didn't listen to her"

Name changed for this. I do not think they had a choice. Because of your profession I believe, they will go the extra mile. Your girl did not see ( At that age, it's not exactly on the radar) a problem with her little lie. You did talk to her. But that's a drop in the ocean.
My mum had a reverse situation with my brother in his first year in school when he was adamant the teacher hit him. After a confrontation with the teacher it turned out "What she said was so bad it felt like it hit me". And no it was not abuse, something like : "Put your coat on the peg and next time do not forget." Time is limited and we are all stressed up, but putting in more time on a 1 to 1 basis with her when it's not a time of caring will help a lot. Laugh together. I had a GP saying that teacher transform everything into a lesson. This is how he experienced his parents. That made me think a lot. Play. Laugh. It does not have to be an hour. This is outing. Mum, if you are somewhere lurking, Hi. Hope you get some sleep OP.

I used to work in SC so professionally the school did the right thing and took the appropriate steps to safeguard. However, if I was the mum of a the child that’s telling daft but serious lies I’d be absolutely fuming and would likely think it’s a waste of time.

I feel like I get how you feel lol.

I would set up a meeting with the school and raise your concerns with them re the dangerous lies. Maybe then they’ll understand a little more about what’s going on and could provide some support?

Yeah I think I will do that. Its half term right now but I reckon I will set up a meeting with the school to see what support my daughter might be able to get. She is a good kid but she is seeking attention and I really can't figure out what im doing at home that's not enough for her to want to attain attention in this manner.

but the nature of this case is more different than an average child claiming of abuse

Genuine question - why do you think this?

You don't seem to understand what context means either. Other people on this thread are correct about safeguarding and there's no taking "out of context" here.

I get it, one of my grandchildren has a vivid imagination too, but if he made up a story like that I would expect the school to take it very seriously.

That is completely uncalled for.

Lots of children lie and make up stories. Are you of the school of thought that children never lie?