Overall, I don’t think you are BU, your OH’s text did not communicate a firm dinner plan, and given it came at the end of an unrelated argument you didn’t feel able to presume they had dinner covered, your efforts/the food went to waste, and your OH hasn’t apologised, and has instead made this about how he feels upset.
Also, depending on your usual pattern of communication, could ‘hassle’ in his text been taken as a mean rejection/jibe, implying that your efforts are no longer needed, and therefore bringing home McD deliberately disregards you/your efforts.
Your OH could be feeling that he did a good thing, now disregarded due to an incomplete text.
It sounds like you’re both feeling upset so perhaps discussing/disagreeing over who is right/not isn’t the answer, and hearing and appreciating the upset each is feeling, irrespective of where it came from, could be.
As an aside, hazarding a guess that you’ve tried reheating pots/veg in the microwave, but perhaps not creating a slightly different dish eg frying, a bit like bubble and squeak - traditionally with mash and cabbage, I think, but you could create your own version.
Caveat to my note - I’ve read all the OP’s comments and only the first few pages of responses, so apologies if this is a rehash of what others have said.