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Original poster

DH refusing dinner issue

289 replies

Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 14:36

thursday morning he txt when he was at work asking what’s for dinner as he needed to know if he had to try borrow some money, with it being the day before payday we had barely any food in
I replied saying we’ve got stuff in for a roast if you fancy it? And asked what time he would be home
he was happy with this
around lunchtime on his break we had an argument unrelated and at the end he said “don’t bother with dinner it’s not worth the hassle”
I didn’t reply to this message as I couldn’t be bothered with arguing but I’m not just going to not bother as the kids need to eat
he’s then gone and borrowed money off his mum and walked in the door after work with McDonald’s
So after 2 hours of slaving in the kitchen cooking a roast the kids didn’t want any of it.
Hes been in a mood since because we argued about that too, him saying I’m ungrateful and that he told me not to bother with dinner so it’s my own fault
but the kids had to eat and I didn’t know he was going to get his mum to send him money at his big age of 37, so was I meant to take the risk and leave them with nothing

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 08:56

I love how people have completely missed the fact that my DH gave our 1 year old a happy meal over roast dinner. But Yes blame me for chucking roast potatoes that nobody likes reheated. We’ve got enough chicken for sandwiches/lunches.

OP posts:
Ineedaduvetday · 23/10/2022 08:57

However we live in the real world. Sometimes when you’ve had a shit day you don just want easy food. What’s so wrong with borrowing £20 or whatever for a quick and easy tea, that can be paid back the next day.

Because if you are struggling for money that much, there are far wiser ways to use £20 than a McDonald's.

PurplePixies · 23/10/2022 08:58

What a horrible man!

I couldn’t live with an idiot who borrows money from mummy to buy crappy MacDonalds to feed the children, when you’ve planned and cooked a proper dinner.

You need to chuck him out. Send the stupid overgrown child back to his mummy and tell him to stay there.

Simonjt · 23/10/2022 08:59

Boiling frozen veg and cooking some defrosted chicken really isn’t slaving away, its water in a few pans and a tray in an oven.

If you’re partner is genuinely on NMW and you’d be earning similar the help you would get towarda childcare means it wouldn’t be a huge amount to be paid 50/50 from each of your earnings.

Aprilx · 23/10/2022 09:00

Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 08:56

I love how people have completely missed the fact that my DH gave our 1 year old a happy meal over roast dinner. But Yes blame me for chucking roast potatoes that nobody likes reheated. We’ve got enough chicken for sandwiches/lunches.

Nobody has missed that fact, there is quite a lot of commentary on it, I am surprised you missed it. Most people think that you both need to get your act together when you are apparently this skint. He needs to stop borrowing money for macdonalds and you need to stop throwing food away.

deliverooyoutoo · 23/10/2022 09:01

You could've jointed the chicken and used the meat in a way with the veggies and potatoes that would have stretched it further.

Pasta bake or rice with chicken. White sauce made with dried milk.

deliverooyoutoo · 23/10/2022 09:01

Boil the carcass for soup.

Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 09:01

my DH could have kept the potatoes too

OP posts:
deliverooyoutoo · 23/10/2022 09:02

You threw the potatoes away. Not him.

Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 09:02

@deliverooyoutoo what are you on about? It’s a frozen chicken joint. I have also said multiple times I kept the chicken and stuffing for sandwiches.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 09:02

@deliverooyoutoo after they’d been sitting left on the side for an hour

OP posts:
Simonjt · 23/10/2022 09:03

Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 09:01

my DH could have kept the potatoes too

Not unless he picked them out of the bin after you threw them away.

deliverooyoutoo · 23/10/2022 09:03

You could have defrosted the joint and chopped it up if it's boneless.

A roast dinner is not an efficient use of meat if you're on a budget.

SpidersAreShitheads · 23/10/2022 09:03

Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 08:55

I love how this thread has turned into hate against me being wasteful by throwing away £1 worth of roast potatoes, rather than my DP borrowing £25 to get a McDonald’s 😁 completely gone off topic. for people telling me to get a job, I would earn a lot less than the cost of childcare, so why would I? I’m doing the open university so once my 2 DC are at school I can get a decent job. People saying I need to budget better, why doesn’t my DP? It’s his money, it doesn’t go into my bank account, if I set up a budget I’m demanding what he does with his own money. Making a roast dinner might not be slaving away for everyone but when you’ve got a 1 year old in a sling and a very active 4 year old to entertain then it is to me. If I wouldn’t eat reheated roast potatoes and frozen veg then why would I make my children? I don’t like it. No sort of hate will make me like the taste of reheated potatoes. Which, again, is completely off topic.

Literally a million different dishes you could try so they don't taste like "reheated roast potatoes". And if you're so utterly skint you only had one meal in the house that you could feed the kids with, you're not in any position to be this fussy. That's an incredibly vulnerable position to be in and £1 could actually make the difference between being able to squeeze another meal out of your budget.

What dishes have you actually tried to do with leftover veg and potatoes?

Chucking good food away for no reason is utterly appalling for many reasons - especially when you're claiming to be brassic - hence the outrage about it on this thread.

deliverooyoutoo · 23/10/2022 09:04

Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 09:02

@deliverooyoutoo after they’d been sitting left on the side for an hour

So what? They could still have been used. Put them in the fridge and chop them up and use them in a frittata. For example.

SpidersAreShitheads · 23/10/2022 09:06

deliverooyoutoo · 23/10/2022 09:01

Boil the carcass for soup.

I've actually just started doing this for the first time in this last month - it's been a revelation!!

deliverooyoutoo · 23/10/2022 09:06

If roast potatoes don't taste right reheated, how do chips from McDonald's taste any better reheated?

You could have made pasta bake with the leftover chicken and veggies or used the veggies and potatoes to make bubble and squeak or added a couple of eggs and made a frittata.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 23/10/2022 09:06

You could have gone out for pizza and a beer for the cost of maccies for a family. Or you know, ate the food you have in, instead of borrowing off mummy for fast food like my 15 year old nephew. What an immature brat your DH is.

Discovereads · 23/10/2022 09:07

Why didn’t you reply to his text to not bother with making a roast?
How was he supposed to know you were going to make it anyway?
Why is it a bad thing that he then assumed he was responsible for feeding the kids and came home from work with a takeaway meal?

The argument was caused by a failure to communicate.

This is often the first thing to suffer when under stress, which you both are as he’s had to borrow money to buy food. Try and tackle the financial crisis together and don’t let communication fall by the wayside like this. It only makes a tough situation worse.

JennyNotFromTheBlock · 23/10/2022 09:10

Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 08:55

I love how this thread has turned into hate against me being wasteful by throwing away £1 worth of roast potatoes, rather than my DP borrowing £25 to get a McDonald’s 😁 completely gone off topic. for people telling me to get a job, I would earn a lot less than the cost of childcare, so why would I? I’m doing the open university so once my 2 DC are at school I can get a decent job. People saying I need to budget better, why doesn’t my DP? It’s his money, it doesn’t go into my bank account, if I set up a budget I’m demanding what he does with his own money. Making a roast dinner might not be slaving away for everyone but when you’ve got a 1 year old in a sling and a very active 4 year old to entertain then it is to me. If I wouldn’t eat reheated roast potatoes and frozen veg then why would I make my children? I don’t like it. No sort of hate will make me like the taste of reheated potatoes. Which, again, is completely off topic.

You sound so defensive and immature.

Your own husband (your title says DH but now you say DP?) needs to borrow money because he can't make it to payday. Yet you act as if £1 is nothing. You are so immature that you can't see how irresponsible you are. And you say 'his' money? Er, you're a FAMILY. It's not 'his' money, it's your (you and his 'your') money. He is the provider for you, it is family money.

You're entire attitude shows you have the maturity of a 9 year old. Whether you like reheated potatoes or not, is not the point. The point is your DH/DP is on minimum wage and you CAN'T AFFORD to throw food away. You need to grow up and very quickly. And point this out isn't 'hate' (are you 9 or something?).

onlywishfulthinking · 23/10/2022 09:10

Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 09:01

my DH could have kept the potatoes too

Your dh is nearly 40, skint and borrows money from his mum to buy McD.

Clearly he has no sense whatsoever. If he can’t step up, you have to do it.

onlywishfulthinking · 23/10/2022 09:11

And you have a 1-year old in a sling, that you feed a Happy Meal.

KatherineJaneway · 23/10/2022 09:12

Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 09:02

@deliverooyoutoo after they’d been sitting left on the side for an hour

And? They didn't become inedible after an hour.

Octomore · 23/10/2022 09:13

Lisagreen12 · 22/10/2022 17:22

@Youcancallmeirrelevant obviously I kept the meat and stuffing for sandwiches but the cooked veg and potatoes went in the bin..

If you're hard up for money, which you obviously are, you need to learn how to use leftovers.

Roasties are fine cold or reheated. You can fry them in some spices, chop them up into cubes and drop in a curry, add to a soup....

And leftover veg will go in pretty much anything! Casserole, soup, curry....

He was very wrong to get into debt to afford a McDs that didn't need and couldn't afford. But you also need to look at how you use food, because there are obvious savings to be made when you're chucking food in the bin.

JennyNotFromTheBlock · 23/10/2022 09:13

Lisagreen12 · 23/10/2022 08:56

I love how people have completely missed the fact that my DH gave our 1 year old a happy meal over roast dinner. But Yes blame me for chucking roast potatoes that nobody likes reheated. We’ve got enough chicken for sandwiches/lunches.

No one has missed that. You're obviously defensive that people have pointed out that you are as irresponsible as he is. But in addition to being irresponsible, you are also immature, defensive and stubborn. And refusing to listen or take anything in.