Dh unemployed and spending on my salary

[Boxshibe]

I'm pissed off. Dh has gone to meetca mate with the dogs for what I thought was a drink then walking the dogs together. So far he's spent £60 in the pub. I'm pissed off.
He quit his job end of July and is struggling to find a new one ( whole other story) so we've lost 2/3 of our income. I can pay rent bills and food if we're vv careful. He promised me that he'd only spend around £20 after the train fate to meet his friend. So annoyed.

I agree £60 is an excessive amount under the circumstances. Is he making every effort to get a job.

@donttellmehesalive but he did have a budget - he chose to spend 3 x the amount because he's

He quit his job without having another one lined up.
What a lightweight.
He's seriously taking the piss.

Why did you mention dd's birthday? If it's at the end of the month you already presumably have money set aside. Kids don't need a lot, if you don't have it! I feel you mentioned it to deliberately draw us all in.

Of course he does

I mentioned it as I get paid in the middle of the month so it would be coming out of this month's money

If you only bring in 1/3 normally aren't you spending on his salary normally? Surely if your salary covers everything (just) you must have savings, so really he's just spent £60 he earned, not your money at all (if you are thinking mine and yours). You need to up your wage to equal his when he's back in work if your attitude is like this. Sounds like the bloke is trying to find a job rather than wanting to be a kept man, I'd say fine as a 1 off, he must be feeling shit so much rejection.

If he's not otherwise a tosser, I would assume he's paid for friend(s) who are paying him back in cash/transferring later before getting annoyed. Why don't you just text and ask him?

Re job this site is hilarious. I agree with the consensus of getting A job ANY job asap. But the abuse hurled at this guy is amazing when considered in the context of MN where every other thread has women insisting they can't possibly get a job as they are just sooooo impossible to come by and nothing is suitable for XYZ reason. Why is it ok for you to be so picky and let all the responsibility to lie with one partner, but not the other way around? Sounds like he was the higher earner for years. Maybe it just has to be you for a bit now.

Always one. 🙄

He needs to get a job!!!

He should be able to get new style jsa which doesn’t take in to account partner’s earnings.

Does a person have to have anxiety to be concerned that at a time when money is tight her partner doesn’t seem to be bothered about it.

You have absolutely no idea about how much a household can do with £60

Everything I have heard about new style JSA = almost no one can get it.

Anxiety over his overspending maybe! It doesn’t matter if it sounds reasonable to you if they can’t afford it! Your reply sounds snide, im
sure you didn’t mean it to

Me too.
I assume that when DH was earning 2/3 of the joint income, OP didn’t see that as his money 🤷🏻‍♀️

Family money? He’s sitting on his arse doing f all whilst OP works to bring in 1/3 of what they had when he was working. Give over.

Can you get that if you quit your job? I thought you had to wait 6 months

How is it that he’s out of work? EVERYWHERE there are signs seeking staff. Every shop I go in has signs advertising staff wanted.

He should not be unemployed in these times.

Cancel his card and give him a set amount of cash

if this was reverse gender mn would call that financial abuse

Well, one could argue it is financially abusive to shirk getting a job and leach off of their wife’s income getting pissed on a day out.

As are 90% of the women who post similar threads the other way around who are told household income is family money. Even if only one is working

Many of those women are at home due to being stay at home parents or to save money on childcare costs. OP doesn’t mention him being a SAHP. He quit his job knowing it would be entirely her responsibility to provide on a much lower wage than the entire family are used to. If you think that’s remotely okay, that says a lot about you.

I think neither are ok

I disagree with the hypocrisy on here

If a woman came on here who had quit her job and her husband had cancelled her card, she’d be told she has equal rights to their family money and he was being financially abusive for the card.