Dh unemployed and spending on my salary

[Boxshibe]

I'm pissed off. Dh has gone to meetca mate with the dogs for what I thought was a drink then walking the dogs together. So far he's spent £60 in the pub. I'm pissed off.
He quit his job end of July and is struggling to find a new one ( whole other story) so we've lost 2/3 of our income. I can pay rent bills and food if we're vv careful. He promised me that he'd only spend around £20 after the train fate to meet his friend. So annoyed.

He keeps applying for jobs and getting to 3rd interview but no further. I'm getting really worried. He's 56 so could be an age thing

This.

He hasn't worked since July and promised not to spend more than £20 while OP is having to borrow money for a WORK trip to tide her over until expenses are paid and panicking over bills and her daughter's birthday this month. He's being a petty, irresponsible arsehole prioritising impressing his friends over his family's needs because his wife had to work which he considered a 'jolly'.

I'd tell him to get himself down to the local giant superstore and get a night job while he looks for a 'career' job if that's what he claims he's holding out for.

Why did he leave his last job without another to go to?

You obviously haven't been out drinking recently. It's around £10 a drink in any city centre pub at the moment so it's only 3 rounds.

It turned out to be a pre sales job not an IT job. But he quit before telling me. Then it was August with no one recruiting now I'm getting really worried as soon it'll be Xmas when no one recruits. Then it'll be Jan.

Could he have paid on the card and his friend gave him the cash? Cluthing at straws!

Likely said by someone who has no concept of needing to budget or having money worries !

Agreed with @RebeccaRose92 - if this was a man complaining his unemployed wife had spent £60, the comments would be full of “financial abuse” and “LTB”

I was thinking this too. This has happened a few times when I've been out, bars that won't take cash so someone has had to pay for everyone on their card, and vice versa with cash only places

He’s a complete loser.

no kids? Kick him out.

The title of your thread says "spending on my salary", which I think i unreasonable. Family money should be joint, so it shouldn't be my money/you don't earn so you don't deserve nice things. And like PPs have said, it the sexes were reversed, responses would be very different.

However, I think you have every right to be annoyed that he has gone back on the amount you both agreed he would spend, especially if things are tight financially. But you need to stop thinking of him spending YOUR money, that's not really fair.

Ok I should have said OUR money but as we need basics ATM dds need coats it money we can't afford

If you really wanna work, it isn't hard to find a job (even if it's a crap job at minimum wage).

Tell your husband to find a job.

But OP went out to EARN that salary. So I think it’s very unfair to say she has to let him spend it as he wishes! What is the DH bringing to the table apart from pissing money up the wall?

Give over! OP is the only person earning and he's off spending her earnings at the pub whilst sat on his arse all day not working! What a load of crap

I would temporarily block the card and allocate the money you have left to the various bills and just tell him that the spending money has run out. Tough.

Yes maybe a bit controlling, but I would do this with a joint account no mater whose income went into it if the bills were not going to get covered if the adhoc spending didn't stop. He knew the position, he spent anyway- he thinks himself too important to have his spending restricted even when the household doesnt have the money. Pathetic!

Your DH gave up his job without telling you? He is 56! Did he think he could skipinto another!

your borrowing off your dad whilst your DH views your work trip as fun and then spends triple what you agreed . He is a loser and a selfish one who has made selfish decisions to suit himself at the cost to his family

@RebeccaRose92 Are you from the 1950s?

She's made it pretty clear they need to budget and she already pays for everything. There is absolutely no financial abuse here (well, not by the OP anyway).

It really isn't. My drink of a pub trip is a pint and they are maximum £4 here. Even in London surely they are nowhere near a tenner? If so that's depressing.

His friend could be paying half but gave him cash and he's paid on his card? Wait until he gets home and find out what happened.

I disagree. I can't see how that would ever be okay. I have my husband's card at all times for shopping but I always use my own money that I earn from my freelance bits when I have a pint or do something solely for myself. I would never blow £60 of family money on a jaunt to the pub and if I did my husband would find it wholly unacceptable.

You're kidding!

SIXTY QUID is a huge wedge when you're watching every penny.

Same but even still it's getting expensive

£6.50 a pint for a craft beer in the North as well