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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask who the hell goes to a prom dressed like this?

272 replies

KimberleyClark · 19/10/2022 15:29

www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/452679109983229/

Unbelievable.

OP posts:
OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 19/10/2022 18:54

I would look like a trussed up pork joint dressed in that.

CrispyNoodles · 19/10/2022 18:54

@StupidSmallFruit It is a complete and utter double standard that men get to just ‘be’ in normal clothes - that make them look good, attractive, even sexy. While women basically get naked.
I’m not for one minute saying women need to cover up. But the absolute double standard in the way some young women present is the elephant in the room.

This ^

We can blame our porn-soaked culture for the double standard.

And this is what Gail Dines has to say about it -
www.redbubble.com/i/sticker/Porn-is-the-lens-through-which-young-girls-are-forced-to-see-the-world-Gail-Dines-quote-by-Womanation/81515531.EJUG5

ReneBumsWombats · 19/10/2022 18:56

StupidSmallFruit · 19/10/2022 18:32

If you've got a problem with not enough men in miniskirts, it's not a failure of women.

I don’t have a problem with ‘not enough men in miniskirts’ - quite the opposite.

I just don’t understand how people can’t see the patriarchal double standards and inherent misogyny in women’s ‘currency’ being their bodies, and men’s currency being their brains.

There’s a reason you don’t see men dressing in the sorts of male equivalent outfits. They don’t want to, and they don’t need to.

Nor do women. But some want to. Leave them alone, it's not a character failing or a suggestion that they're stupid or whatever else. Women can wear what they like.

Agree with PPs that the description is just keyword stuffing to get more views. It isn't a prom dress.

PupInAPram · 19/10/2022 18:58

I'd have been gutted if my daughter had worn this to her prom.

Cameleongirl · 19/10/2022 18:58

HighlandPony · 19/10/2022 18:14

We don’t have ‘prom’ here but plenty would wear that to the school disco. Which is effectively the same thing. I think for my last one I wore one of my dads shirts half unbuttoned with a belt round it as a dress with a corset underneath and cowboy boots (showing my age)

A prom isn’t really the same as a disco, a much more formal event (at least here in the US) and they all wear long dresses and the boys wear tuxedoes!

Cameleongirl · 19/10/2022 18:58

And matching corsages/buttonholes!!

1FootInTheRave · 19/10/2022 18:59

It certainly wouldn't fit in as a prom dress for the ones I've seen.

All tend to wear long and covered up top (as in not showing lots of cleavage).

Deffo more of a clubbing type outfit imo.

HighlandPony · 19/10/2022 19:02

Cameleongirl · 19/10/2022 18:58

A prom isn’t really the same as a disco, a much more formal event (at least here in the US) and they all wear long dresses and the boys wear tuxedoes!

But in Scotland that’s not the case. Prom uk is just high school disco called prom because US media infected out language.

your prom is more akin to our ‘leavers’ where the boys usually wear suits or kilts and the girls are supposed to wear cocktail dresses but they never do. They wear the skimpiest things going and their lashes are longer than their hemlines

EllesB · 19/10/2022 19:04

She wouldn't have been allowed in like that at my prom. They didn't make us adhere to the standard dress code, but they did have a modified one that dresses had to fall within.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 19/10/2022 19:07

KimberleyClark · 19/10/2022 16:15

I think it’s cheap and tarty looking, and there is a middle ground between a “massive bridesmaid dress) and something like this.

YES!! It looks like a cheap imitation of any Kardashian.

Cameleongirl · 19/10/2022 19:09

HighlandPony · 19/10/2022 19:02

But in Scotland that’s not the case. Prom uk is just high school disco called prom because US media infected out language.

your prom is more akin to our ‘leavers’ where the boys usually wear suits or kilts and the girls are supposed to wear cocktail dresses but they never do. They wear the skimpiest things going and their lashes are longer than their hemlines

Fair enough, I though perhaps the name “Prom” had replaced Leaver’s Ball” as my friend’s DD in Bristol wore a long dress to her prom last year-but that’s in England, of course.

I went to a Leaver’s Ball thirty years ago, no proms back then. 😂

primeoflife · 19/10/2022 19:11

Dynamicdinosaur · 19/10/2022 17:04

Pretty much a prom dress in my book

Nothing like prom dresses round here! Not a single dress like that at DDs last year. Dresses were long!

GucciBear · 19/10/2022 19:12

Katie Price?

tachetastic · 19/10/2022 19:13

Sorry to sound old (I am) but I would be gutted if my daughter went to her prom in something like that. My prom was in the 1992 and the boys all wore black tie and the girls were in full length satin and velvet. They were beautiful, every one of them. Bare shoulders were considered very sexy. I know it's old fashioned, but even in the 1990s proms were seen as old fashioned and it was meant to be a special occasion. One night of old fashioned glamour!

Don't get me wrong. Even 30 years ago, by the time of my prom me and my friends had been going clubbing and getting home p**d in the small hours for about three years, and trust me there were no full length dresses to be seen. I do think the dress shows a bit more than is necessary, but someone wants to wear that to a club then good for them. But I pity her in the queue for the night bus home, because I doubt she'll remember a nice warm coat!!!

HailAdrian · 19/10/2022 19:16

Well, I would look indecent in that.

Obki · 19/10/2022 19:18

FistFullOfRegrets · 19/10/2022 18:51

Gorgeous?

she looks both pregnant & tarty.

She doesn’t look pregnant. Not every thin woman has a flat stomach, and there is nothing wrong with a rounded belly.

HighlandPony · 19/10/2022 19:19

Cameleongirl · 19/10/2022 19:09

Fair enough, I though perhaps the name “Prom” had replaced Leaver’s Ball” as my friend’s DD in Bristol wore a long dress to her prom last year-but that’s in England, of course.

I went to a Leaver’s Ball thirty years ago, no proms back then. 😂

The only thing different about the leavers doo is there’s Scottish country dancing for a half hour at the beginning and the boys spend ages mooning for pics in their kilts. That’s not changed since my parents were at school

Americano75 · 19/10/2022 19:20

She'll catch her death in that.

onlythreenow · 19/10/2022 19:21

I think it’s cheap and tarty looking, and there is a middle ground between a “massive bridesmaid dress) and something like this.

I agree. I've never seen anyone at a prom in a "massive bridesmaid dress" but girls here wouldn't wear anything as hideous as that. You can show off some flesh without looking like a porn star!

Somanysocks · 19/10/2022 19:22

The only way I could wear that would be with one of those proper long cardys.

DdraigGoch · 19/10/2022 19:23

I read the thread, then clicked on the link. I was expecting a lot worse.

It does seem more like nightclub wear, than a prom dress though

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 19/10/2022 19:25

I think one Eddie Izzard may make an appearance in something like this...

... When he is canvassing for his political ward.

StupidSmallFruit · 19/10/2022 19:26

ReneBumsWombats · 19/10/2022 18:56

Nor do women. But some want to. Leave them alone, it's not a character failing or a suggestion that they're stupid or whatever else. Women can wear what they like.

Agree with PPs that the description is just keyword stuffing to get more views. It isn't a prom dress.

I am leaving them alone - I’m hardly going up to them and demanding they to answer to me. Grin

This is a discussion forum. People raise issues, other people come back and question things. It’s how it works.

I’m not calling anyone ‘stupid’ or saying it’s a ‘character failing’. Those are your words, interestingly enough.

I’m questioning the system, society. I’m not blaming individuals - I’m looking at the much bigger picture, which makes girls think they’re just there to be looked at, while the men run everything.

It’s OK to question this - it really is. And I do realise it’s ‘just a dress’, before I get jumped on for that!

Bit it’s ‘just a dress’. And it’s also very much not ‘just a dress’.

ReneBumsWombats · 19/10/2022 19:27

God I wish people would keep their criticism to the dress rather than sneering at how the young woman looks in it. She's a professional model, she didn't choose it, it's her job to wear what she's given and make it look as good as possible. Even if she did choose to wear it, she's an adult and it's a dress. It's not a mark of her intelligence, human worth, compassion or anything other than the fact that she likes a dress.

userxx · 19/10/2022 19:27

she looks both pregnant & tarty

Tarty ? Jesus, it's like stepping back into the 1980's.

If you can pull off a dress like that, go for it I say.

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