Covid named and shamed

[Otterspotter13]

I’m a healthcare worker, returned to work after a week of sick leave due to Covid. Kids also recovered and back at school. At home partner was weakly positive on antigen test (he tested positive when myself and kids were at end of our 7 days isolation) but he has never had any symptoms. Kids had missed their swimming lessons last week when they were isolating with me. On the day of my return to work, partner who should be isolating brought them to their swimming lesson. He left them enter the building themselves so he himself wouldn’t have to go inside. But at collection time he entered building, wrapped their towels around each of them and quickly left with them, bringing them straight to car so they could change there. I was at work on a 13 hr shift wearing a sweaty ffp2 mask out of consideration for my colleagues. I checked my texts and there was a message on a 10 member girl group I’m on, naming and shaming my partner because one of them knew he was positive and saw him at pool collecting kids and not wearing a mask. He is not in this group to defend himself. I’m obviously angry with him for not wearing a mask and have told him off regarding this, he realizes he was in the wrong. He says he repeated the antigen and the line is barely visible, he doesn’t believe he has covid as he is asymptomatic. He was in and out in seconds. Not defending his actions but his mistakes are his and he is not me. Im a hardworking hcw who has always respected covid guidelines. However now I have to deal with his mistake on this toxic WhatsApp group, who are publicly naming him and giving out, like I’m not there or something. He isn’t on this group. I feel it is not appropriate and this person isn’t behaving like a friend should, calling him out like this. Our partners are friends. I feel that if she has a problem she should have contacted him directly or asked her partner to discuss with him. I feel that this woman, a real stickler for the covid rules, she wants to keep covid alive when really it should be buried along with the bloody antigen tests. I’m so over it. I want to leave this group now as I don’t want to participate in toxic behavior. Aibu?

I went into several supermarkets, cafés and so on wearing a mask over the last 3 weeks and nobody made a comment, stared or did anything except go about their business. If they eyerolled i didn't notice. and frankly? i don't care.

Some may see a mask and think "overreaction" etc, i think "socially responsible".

So dh tested positive a week after you but felt ok

tech he should have self isolated for 5 days as had a line

but why did he test if felt ok

as was positive it would have been nice to wear a mask as mixing with people but not legal to have to

how did the lady on the wats app group know he was still positive that day

did you tell her he had a faint line

we do need to live with this / been 2.5yrs now - it’s never going away but most people I know who have had covid feel like a cold

obv lots will now reply and say they had it badly/effected them

yes if feel dreadful stay in bed

otherwise as long not in medical job go about as normal

dh and I still haven’t had. I test due to my job so know I haven’t had it but didn’t know

So it sounds like the only way to make people behave responsibly is to "make rules", Pretty sad isn't it. Sounds like you are about 10 years old if you need rules before using common sense.

Using that logic there would no no road rules, and the need for the majority of laws (don’t steal, murder etc) would be redundant. You are living in la la land. Society needs rules and laws or it will break down pretty quickly, it’s just the way it is whether you feel it’s sad or not.

@User1275936

What makes people look ignorant is not reading the links that they posted, no where does it state on the nhs website about rules. It states time and time again 'try to stay at home' 'if you feel well enough' 'avoid things' there are no 'rules' about not going. There's advice. As the post I replied to said, he could have sat and watched the whole lesson if he'd wanted to. Plus the OP said he wasn't running a temperature etc, which is another price of advice mentioned on the website. Sounds to me that the op's dh used his common sense, and what he did was broadly inline with the advice given on the link you posted

Do you test regularly? If so where are you getting your tests? Are they free?

It’s crazy, the lack of message cohesion going on within the NHS at the moment

Surely if you're lying you know that you're doing something wrong...

If you don't think you've done anything wrong you stand by your decision.

I always try and avoid people. Pre and post covid

Wow, there are some right old ‘I’m alright Jack’ cunts on this thread!

I can just picture the type of person you are. Uneducated for sure. Most certainly into conspiracy theories. Very, very of the opinion that you are right - all the time 🙄 just generally not pleasant to be around. Ugh. The dregs.

I've voted yabu for not leaving this message and/or the group.

If you have a communicable disease and you go places, and people know you have it, then you need to be prepared for them to say something. The fact that the OP is up in arms tells me she knows it was at least a bit of a dick move

Completely agree. We’ve all seen posts on here from people upset that their in-laws have come to visit only a couple of hours after having their last Norovirus symptoms, or because someone has knowingly sent their child to an event with chicken pox. Covid might be here to stay, but so is Norovirus, and yet we roundly condemn those people who don’t isolate for the necessary period before going near other people. OP, you obviously think he was in the wrong or you wouldn’t have had a go at him for not wearing a mask. You’re just feeling defensive because someone else has called him out on it.

Oh go on. Say it. Say it now. You really want to. They’re selfish granny killers. There, feel better now?

Oh Jesus YANBU. A lot of workplaces are expecting positive staff members to be in if they feel okay! Isolation isn't mandatory anymore, yes it's often the done thing but no obligation!

obv lots will now reply and say they had it badly/effected them
yes if feel dreadful stay in bed

The point being that nobody really knows how it is going to affect them. So it is better, if you have it, to at least wear a mask so the next person - maybe someone who doesn't get sick pay or has caring responsibiities - has to stay in bed?

It's really not rocket science. But it does show how people a) don't connect the dots and are b) really selfish. It's not about "granny killing", it is about being a responsible member of society and not passing on germs unnecessarily. Yes, go to work but how about you wear a mask, keep the windows open and let people know not to come too close if you can do those things? it's about not being an utter tosser. Most of us aren't utter tossers.

You’re annoyed with him not wearing a mask, as you know that would be the responsible thing to have done. The lady on the group has only said what you also thought. If you go out when people know you’re covid positive you’ve got to expect to be judged. I find it really weird that most people feel it’s ok to judge people for potentially spreading chicken pox or a sickness bug but not covid.

@Waveacrossabay no, I caught it from a patient who had covid and who refused to wear a mask. I was off work for 2 weeks with it. In my Trust, we only had to wear standard blue surgical masks in ED and on the wards, not full PPE. Testing is only encouraged in our Trust and is not mandatory. If we have covid then we shouldn’t come in unless we test negative.

Where in the world are you if you’re spelling ‘realizes’? If you’re not in the U.K. your covid rules won’t be the same as ours.

How does she know he was still positive? I'd put a message on saying he was negative that morning and she can shove her nasty message!!

But that wouldn't be true, would it?

Not fair to stoop to lying

What has the world come to.. These are the sort of people who would be informing on their neighbours in Nazi Germany. Leave the group, you don’t need the hassle..

I kind of think you know he made a mistake by entering a public space around other people not wearing a mask while still testing positive. So I think that's the consequences that his actions have created. Its nothing to do with you but equally you can't expect to control how others feel regarding his decision to do that. Its obviously annoyed and upset your friend- is she particularly vulnerable health wise or does she care for someone who is? In fairness if I knew a friend was testing positive and I saw them out and about maskless around other people I'd be pissed off too, wouldn't have maybe said anything the way your friend did but I'd think less of them because I'm clinically vulnerable at present and I think it's selfish. Just my honest opinion.

Yes, I've had a bad flu and it was awful. The difference with covid is the sheer scale and impact of infections. I manage a public service and we've had many periods of being short-staffed due to covid. Yet more strain on my staff will really put them under unhealthy pressure with this autumn surge. It's been far worse, with more critical effects, amongst NHS staff. It's highly irresponsible to pretend we can just move on.

To add to this, I agree that we have to adapt and cope but the sheer individualistic selfishness of people like many voices on this thread means we'll have to cope for longer.

I don't think everyone should be testing constantly, however common courtesy would say that if you have even a (non-covid) cough, avoid people as best you can.

I said YABU because he knew he was positive, yet still went in. I know there are no rules now, but however many MNers say "it was just a cold for me!", there are those of us with family members going into hospital for sotromib

Posted too soon - for sotromivab infusions as a pre-emptive measure due to their vulnerability. One of those family members was actually told to contact their consultant immediately should they catch covid as they really didn't expect them to recover if just left to it. Their poor partner was absolutely terrified when they tested positive, luckily they are okay.