Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Covid named and shamed

258 replies

Otterspotter13 · 18/10/2022 05:23

I’m a healthcare worker, returned to work after a week of sick leave due to Covid. Kids also recovered and back at school. At home partner was weakly positive on antigen test (he tested positive when myself and kids were at end of our 7 days isolation) but he has never had any symptoms. Kids had missed their swimming lessons last week when they were isolating with me. On the day of my return to work, partner who should be isolating brought them to their swimming lesson. He left them enter the building themselves so he himself wouldn’t have to go inside. But at collection time he entered building, wrapped their towels around each of them and quickly left with them, bringing them straight to car so they could change there. I was at work on a 13 hr shift wearing a sweaty ffp2 mask out of consideration for my colleagues. I checked my texts and there was a message on a 10 member girl group I’m on, naming and shaming my partner because one of them knew he was positive and saw him at pool collecting kids and not wearing a mask. He is not in this group to defend himself. I’m obviously angry with him for not wearing a mask and have told him off regarding this, he realizes he was in the wrong. He says he repeated the antigen and the line is barely visible, he doesn’t believe he has covid as he is asymptomatic. He was in and out in seconds. Not defending his actions but his mistakes are his and he is not me. Im a hardworking hcw who has always respected covid guidelines. However now I have to deal with his mistake on this toxic WhatsApp group, who are publicly naming him and giving out, like I’m not there or something. He isn’t on this group. I feel it is not appropriate and this person isn’t behaving like a friend should, calling him out like this. Our partners are friends. I feel that if she has a problem she should have contacted him directly or asked her partner to discuss with him. I feel that this woman, a real stickler for the covid rules, she wants to keep covid alive when really it should be buried along with the bloody antigen tests. I’m so over it. I want to leave this group now as I don’t want to participate in toxic behavior. Aibu?

OP posts:
user53852098 · 18/10/2022 06:59

Probably best to have not broadcasted anything about Covid as some people do still feel quite strongly about it.

GiltEdges · 18/10/2022 07:02

Why do you refer to having to deal with “his mistake” as if your husband did something wrong? He isn’t required to isolate, nor wear a mask. The only stupid thing he should be called out on is wrapping the kids up in towels straight after swimming and taking them out to the car to change when it’s the middle of bloody October!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 18/10/2022 07:02

One assumes that although he was not wearing a mask he was still ringing his bell and shouting 'unclean'? 😂

PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 18/10/2022 07:05

I'd make very sure she regretted that one.

Lemonlady22 · 18/10/2022 07:07

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Well done you for not thinking of vulnerable people in your frontline job, patients have to do a covid test before coming to the hospital but someone in ED doesn’t, quite shocking imo!

StapFooterin · 18/10/2022 07:10

Isaidnoalready · 18/10/2022 06:52

How did she know he was positive?

This⬆️

Probably best not to tell people your family business tbh. She sounds like wants to stir things up. Some people thrive on that kind of trivial nonsense.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 18/10/2022 07:11

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

“Completely mental”

”silly mares”

”stfu”

And a nurse in ED 👏

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 18/10/2022 07:14

JenniferBarkley · 18/10/2022 06:49

Based on OP's use of antigen test and giving out, I think she might be in Ireland whether I think self isolation is still recommended but not required (very much open to correction on all of this).

I would just reply along the lines of "Sarah I don't appreciate you slagging John off on a group thread like this. He tested negative before leaving the house and had been asymptomatic all along. He went above and beyond by testing at all, there was no requirement for him to do so. His decisions are his to make but I have no issue with them and nor do the official covid guidelines."

Well. Probably best to ignore in truth, but I wouldn't blame you for replying.

Yes - but I thought he tested positive with a faint line on the test.

user53852098 · 18/10/2022 07:15

There is no need for anyone to know outside of your family group, one of your family must have unwisely put it on WhatsApp

mamnollag · 18/10/2022 07:15

People have moved on. Baby, husband and I all have Covid. Husband is going in to work - we cannot afford him to stay off. Baby and I have been out for walks and we went to pharmacy to collect a prescription. Life goes on and Covid is here stay.

Perhaps your husband should have left the kids at the pool alone until that night, when someone else could collect them.

Eyeroll and sigh.

LostInTheDark · 18/10/2022 07:16

Why did he bother testing I don't understand? If he doesn't want to isolate then don't test. My husband is a teacher and had covid in Feb, work didn't pay him for him being off when he worked the entire time from home prepping lessons sending the worksheets to be printed etc. He was furious and said well I'm just never testing again, he wasn't unwell at all it just happened that several others in his dept had it and he had been told to stay off if testing positive. We got a shock when he got paid!! We can't afford to lose money especially now so we just don't test.

Tell the woman to mind her own business.

Ekátn · 18/10/2022 07:19

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 18/10/2022 07:02

One assumes that although he was not wearing a mask he was still ringing his bell and shouting 'unclean'? 😂

😂😂😂

Dahlietta · 18/10/2022 07:19

I also don’t under why he a) did a test when he was asymptomatic and had no intention of isolating even if it was positive and b) told anybody the result of that test he was planning to ignore.
Otherwise, YANBU.

Luxurysleuth007 · 18/10/2022 07:20

It’s madness reading the Why test? replies. It must mean our numbers are shooting up as we enter our next wave and the usual ‘it’s a cold’ crowd start to get anxious. Seems to happen every time.

In response to your OP though, they were right to call him out.

user53852098 · 18/10/2022 07:20

All the Covid stuff is over for most people under 50, us older folks have unfortunately still got to choose whether or not to have our booster so that is good reason for wanting to know if you have it or not as it would be a waste going through having a booster too soon after Covid

Doveyouknow · 18/10/2022 07:22

You change your kids in the car after swimming?!

user53852098 · 18/10/2022 07:23

Why didn't they change in the changing rooms

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 18/10/2022 07:23

Have we gone back in time?

Frontline antigen isolation

Or are you in a different country?

Createausernamehere · 18/10/2022 07:24

MarmiRae · 18/10/2022 06:40

That girl in the group is vile. I had covid recently (MH Nurse) and I would wear a mask when seeing patients or popping into the shop. All 4 of my DC had covid but all they had was a headache. I didn’t make them isolate nor did they wear masks - they didn’t go into shops but they were out in the fields playing with other kids who also had covid / parents were aware. I think we have to move with the times - yes, wear a mask if you have covid out of curtesy for others with weakened immunity, but we can’t bring the world to a standstill again.

What that woman did is prat-ish. Your DH did nothing illegal. She is just trying to cause uproar where there shouldn’t be any.

Pretty appalled that as a HCW you put other people at risk especially vulnerable people you work with. A mask isn’t fullproof as you know.

the ‘rules’ are now guidelines which are quite clear you should isolate if you have covid.
it may not be mandated but it is the sensible and considerate thing to do.

There are lots of very vulnerable people about still plus some healthy people are still really unwell with covid which impacts their ability to work therefore get paid etc which is pretty critical in the current climate.

knowingly mixing when covid positive is a rotten thing to do in my opinion.

but then people are selfish- that much we know.

Jumperoo56370000 · 18/10/2022 07:25

MarmiRae · 18/10/2022 06:40

That girl in the group is vile. I had covid recently (MH Nurse) and I would wear a mask when seeing patients or popping into the shop. All 4 of my DC had covid but all they had was a headache. I didn’t make them isolate nor did they wear masks - they didn’t go into shops but they were out in the fields playing with other kids who also had covid / parents were aware. I think we have to move with the times - yes, wear a mask if you have covid out of curtesy for others with weakened immunity, but we can’t bring the world to a standstill again.

What that woman did is prat-ish. Your DH did nothing illegal. She is just trying to cause uproar where there shouldn’t be any.

Aren’t you a treat? Presumably you don’t care about infecting your vulnerable patients. I’d refer you to the nmc if I knew you in real life?

Jumperoo56370000 · 18/10/2022 07:26

Createausernamehere · 18/10/2022 07:24

Pretty appalled that as a HCW you put other people at risk especially vulnerable people you work with. A mask isn’t fullproof as you know.

the ‘rules’ are now guidelines which are quite clear you should isolate if you have covid.
it may not be mandated but it is the sensible and considerate thing to do.

There are lots of very vulnerable people about still plus some healthy people are still really unwell with covid which impacts their ability to work therefore get paid etc which is pretty critical in the current climate.

knowingly mixing when covid positive is a rotten thing to do in my opinion.

but then people are selfish- that much we know.

Show quote history

Completely agree @Createausernamehere

MarmiRae · 18/10/2022 07:28

Createausernamehere · 18/10/2022 07:24

Pretty appalled that as a HCW you put other people at risk especially vulnerable people you work with. A mask isn’t fullproof as you know.

the ‘rules’ are now guidelines which are quite clear you should isolate if you have covid.
it may not be mandated but it is the sensible and considerate thing to do.

There are lots of very vulnerable people about still plus some healthy people are still really unwell with covid which impacts their ability to work therefore get paid etc which is pretty critical in the current climate.

knowingly mixing when covid positive is a rotten thing to do in my opinion.

but then people are selfish- that much we know.

Show quote history

I had covid in August, as did my DC. The guidelines then were people did not need to isolate / wear masks. I followed the guidelines. I actually caught covid from a patient who refused to wear a mask, so… in my dept we only had to wear masks. Things are tightening now numbers are higher. So, no need to be “appalled”.

Createausernamehere · 18/10/2022 07:28

mamnollag · 18/10/2022 07:15

People have moved on. Baby, husband and I all have Covid. Husband is going in to work - we cannot afford him to stay off. Baby and I have been out for walks and we went to pharmacy to collect a prescription. Life goes on and Covid is here stay.

Perhaps your husband should have left the kids at the pool alone until that night, when someone else could collect them.

Eyeroll and sigh.

You went into a pharmacy when you knew you had covid? Good grief. Not like there are any vulnerable people in there right?

You have properly emphasised to me now how selfish people can be. I hope you and your baby never end up immunocompromised and reliant on other people to behave considerately.

The fact you actually bothered to test so you knew you had it but then carried on regardless just adds to the ridiculousness of your behaviour.

Herejustforthisone · 18/10/2022 07:28

Just text “he’d tested negative.”

user53852098 · 18/10/2022 07:28

The vulnerable people will be the same ones that are vulnerable to flu and other illnesses but there is not all the testing and fuss about those illnesses. There has been and always will be some people that are vulnerable to illness, that's just life.