What’s a subtle sign that a person is a good person?

[YouAreNotBatman]

As in you can just tell they are good people in an average situation.

”I can assure you that I don't virtue signal.”

If you came on this thread and indicated you don’t eat animals and others that do are bad, you virtue signaled. others merely mentioned things they look for in others.

”I live by the decisions I've made to be cruelty-free, I felt like a big hypocrite! I'm sure there are others out there too.”

”It is called cognitive dissonance too. Are you refuting that?”

You are certainly trying to induce that feeling in others, which is an unpleasant thing to do.

”What the hell does 'produced humanely' mean by the way? Are you producing meat?”

Good farming practices. High slaughterhouse welfare. These are important to lots of people.

if someone falls/drops something they help. Holds door for people behind them. Nods/smiles/says hi to people. Asks how people are but waits to hear what they say

”If you work hard to ensure you buy "humanely" produced meat, then you must be interested in the animal living a good life. So why does your interest in them living a good life not extend to the part where they're prematurely slaughtered?”

If an animal is well cared for during life and death is pain free, then I don’t see premature death as inherently bad. If you had your way, that animal would never have lived at all, or might have gone on to be old and in pain. I’m a vet. Much of the suffering I have seen was from people who kept their pets alive too long.

I like the "doing the right thing even when no one is watching" quote. Absolutely. Like buying someone a sandwich etc without telling Fbk about it.
Also a friend summed it up as "being kind to people you don't have to be kind to", she works in films and often comments on actors, directors etc and how they treat others who work with them. I suppose it's the equivalent of how people treat serving staff, cleaners etc - treating everyone with equal kindness, time and respect.
One other thing I'd add is doing nice things for others without being asked. Going above and beyond. Eg learning someone's favourite cake is chocolate cake and baking them one. Choosing to spend your time and effort on others.

ps a few years ago at a communion I saw a little boy looking for his mum when he was getting a picture taken with the teacher. He was standing in line and at the top another mother said ‘don’t worry I’ll send this pic on to your mother. You’re looking great, and chatted to him.’ His mother arrived after and the lady sent it on the spot. She’s jumped in to help a lot of us at different times and when I think of her I think ‘she’s just so good’

I think you can tell a good person quite quickly by the way they talk to/about other people.
Concern for others interests, not only their own.
How they treat children and animals.

Acknowledging those around them kindly - shop staff, waiters, other people in queues etc.; treating everyone respectfully as an equal.

I was at a party with a friend of mine once and she said: “I have to go and talk to that woman. She’s standing on her own.” She didn’t know her, but warmly made her part of the party. I thought: you’re lovely.

I know someone who has a knack of making you laugh at you own flaws. A gentle ribbing that helps you accept yourself. He’s probably the nicest person I know.

I have an amazing best friend who is a good person.
She is kind she listens and she supports and advises.
She will take time to talk to everyone she passes in life from the postman to the bus driver. She stops and thanks them for what they are doing.
She is so intelligent but humble. She is patient, fair, friendly warm and open.

She makes me have the biggest belly laughs ever.

My world would be an empty place without her.

Not gossiping.

Including people, making them feel welcomed.

Thinking about other people and helping them/doing little things to help people (ie. holding doors, helping pushchairs down stairs), rather than having a 'me first' mentality.

When I was at the airport with my then boyfriend for our first trip away , there was a small boy (quite clearly handicapped in some way) pointing at people. Everyone was ignoring him. The flight was long delayed and everyone was tired and angry and hungry and stressed etc. the young boy pointed at my boyfriend and my boyfriend bent down and introduced himself and asked the little boy his name. He then took the time to talk to him about his bag and his trip etc. The mum said - ahh that’s nice he only points at people because he wants to know their name. Thanks for talking to him!
I knew then that I was with a very very good man . He is now husband (married 10 years :)).

He sounds lovely 😍

My grandma always used to say that ‘You could judge a man by his shoes’. In her day, it was quite possible to do so!
Not sure it’s applicable these days.

Who defines what is a 'good person', much of that is subjective. Clearly murder is bad, and saving a life is good so we might say most murders are bad and most doctors and nurses are good. But most other things are not black and white. You have to decide for yourself what you value. Most people are neither good nor bad. They do good or bad things based on how we define it.

For example I value kindness, inclusivity and openness. However, I would not say that a doctor who saved thousands of lives in a warzone is a bad person if he is verbally unkind to me. I would say, there's a good person, doing a bad thing. Equally Hitler was reported to love children and dogs, so I'm sure he did kind things at times, that doesn't make him kind.

Ultimately, I'll assume you don't regularly kill or rescue people, as most of us don't so I advise you look at 'personal values'. You can Google this, work out what matters most to you and what good looks like on this basis.

Have I overcomplicated this maybe. I think a good person is ideally someone who a. Has a good heart and b. Can show it. It's someone who cares when someone else has a problem, and offers sympathy and/or help. It's someone who doesn't judge or avoids judgemental responses and seeks to respond with openness. If the person makes a mistake as they all do, they show they care and do their best to apologise. Responses and apologies might not always be perfect because a good person may or may not have good communication skills. The point is they try to do the right thing even when it's difficult.

This is a really good thread! A person I was with a few days ago sprang to mind. She has such a gentle kindness about her and doesn't gossip or judge. When our kids had trouble at school she came to me and was open and honest about it. She was kind even though the situation had caused her kid to be quite upset. This meant so much because my kid has (not obvious) additional needs and I have had people avoid us and be horrible in the past when he's struggled with friendships or social boundaries.

Listen to their views on social issues too. That reveals a lot about people.

@Cosmos123 that's lovely ❤️

My Gran always had wise words, and she would always say "I speak of people as I find them".
This meant she wouldn't enter into any gossip or judge someone on what others told her. She would make her own mind up based on how she perceived that person to be when speaking to them herself.

I think in an average situation you can tell by those who show a genuine interest in how you are feeling, rather than being self absorbed.
They think before they speak if they are aware of something that might upset you. Tact and sensitivity. Empathy and the ability to see something from another person's perspective and think how they might be feeling.

Honestly, you can’t tell. Someone who seemed to tick all the boxes here turned out to be a serial deceiver and manipulator. He seemed like a genuinely good, caring, concerned about others guy, puts his money where his mouth is guy. In reality he was deeply selfish. Just really good at hiding it.
I wish I’d never known him. When you realise you, and everyone else, has been duped like that, it makes you question if you are right about anyone. Anyone could be frauding you like that.

No it doesn’t. Life has taught me those who talk a good game often don’t reflect their principles in their actions. Dinner party posturing does not make you a good person. It just reflects how they want to see themselves, not how they actually are.

Think how easy policing would be if all good people have out subtle signs

Treating everyone around them as equals.

And we have a winner!

I agree, really good people emit goodness. They are few and far between.