What’s a subtle sign that a person is a good person?

[YouAreNotBatman]

As in you can just tell they are good people in an average situation.

@kerstina love ya 👌.

I think most people can be a bit shitty sometimes and amazing sometimes to greater or lesser degrees. Excluding really extreme examples.

So there's no one way of being and no one way of knowing. Lots of chance, context and variables.

People who are deeply good are often quiet, good listeners, and very relaxed. In my experience. And very rare.

Because some actions have motives. Look at Jimmy Saville. Visiting kids in hospital, giving to charity, smiley and friendly. Would you say he was good because he did good things?

You can't. The human condition is far more complex than good people/bad people. There is good and bad in everyone. And given the right (or wrong) variables, I suspect a great many things we'd never even imagine ourselves capable of, are possible for anyone.

I know this isn't a popular view.

Well spotted. That's an important one.

People who compliment others behind their backs.

I agree with this. It’s about making an effort, spending time on things and people. Old, but well looked after shoes are an indicator of someone decent IMO. They would also take care of a person, in my experience, Obviously, clean shoes in a social situation, rather than a country walk!

They call them sandwiches and not butties.

JOKE!!

Yes all of the really charming, overly lovely, charismatic people who really seem to pull others in that I’ve met have turned out to be pretty evil 😅

I watch how that talk to and about other people. If they gossip, talk negatively about others when the situation does not call for it or just because they are going through a hard time, or if they are prejudiced against other races or women then that’s my clue they aren’t gonna be kind to me the second things go short. I broke up with a lot of boyfriends because of the way they talked about their exes/mothers/sisters. Calling them bitches, constantly blaming the break ups on them and never admitting that part of the blame could have been on them. Not being understanding about women related issues such as unplanned pregnancies.

And how they treat animals is a huge one as others have said. My dad was abusive and he loved kicking dogs and cats. It gave him some kind of high and he said it was his way of establishing “dominance”. He was a horrible fucking person and I was always horrified when a i saw him do that and watched how he laughed. I still get angry thinking about it. Lack of empathy towards helpless animals reflects a lack of empathy towards helpless humans.

Honest and true to their word.

I do get a little frustrated with people who 'love' animals, yet continue to consume them. It's called cognitive dissonance. I was that person once. It's like feeling like a hypocrite.

What their friends and family say

The way somebody treats somebody they don’t know. Either meeting for them first time or vaguely knows them, if they are inclusive and friendly, I always find these people to be genuinely good people. On the other hand, if they are stand offish, uninterested or just unfriendly with new people, I instantly know they’re not particularly pleasant people.

Good one..

Although I think a lot of the posts about people who are good conversationalists/listeners etc doesn't necessarily mean they are better people than those who are socially awkward or struggle with conversation.

No he bliddy wasn't and Ive been sick of seeing/hearing people say he was since the birth of the internet (and possibly before)!

I agree the being inclusive of everyone, making sure people are paid attention to in conversations.
In a similar vein, people who will adapt to include people (not beyond boundaries obviously but people who consider people, explain things well, adapt their language etc in a group setting for example).

Really listening to someone. General kindness and checking in on someone. Empathy, not sympathy.

Empathy for animals and others in general.

Without time/adversity to test them, these signs are worthless (except their friends)

Dont bitch about people behind theirs backs or delivery backhanded compliments - all done behind smiles and faux niceness.

Usually a good indication.

They don’t virtue signal

I’m not sure about the idea that looking after the small things (clean shoes for example) is an indicator they look after the big things?
I have a tendency to be attracted to be friends who are less fussy over small things. Their toddler may be unkempt but happy, they’ll have crumbs on the kitchen floor, bobbly jumpers, worn /patched up clothes, mad hair… drive an old car etc.
I guess we’re all just wired differently when it comes to how we suss people out. Of course there’s some sort of inverse snobbery at play here because I’d quite like them to have a nice bookshelf too 😀
But generally I’m a bit wary of people who obsess over keeping stuff immaculate.
I’d be horrified at anyone who was horrible to waiting staff though, that’s a good indicator of a baddie. Good manners are important.

No. I'd say that the idea of a 'good' or a 'bad' person is wildly oversimplifying the vast majority of cases.

There are a few horrors and yes Saville was one but if we are talking everyday people you meets we are mostly a big old mix of a bit craps a bit good, and lots indifferent. It'd be meaningless to try and sort most people into one of 2 reductive categories.

Lots of people thought Jimmy Savile was 'good' because he was a prolific raiser of funds for charity. I've no idea if he was a a clean-shoe-wearing vegetarian, but if he was, it still didn't make him a good person.

A lot of these examples are so subjective. I don't always have clean shoes. Ive lost touch with friends over the years, for various reasons and I eat meat, I'm still an inherently good person, even though I cock things up.

I'm always worried about threads like this, because actually what most are describing is the female socialisation/accommodation, often to the detriment of ourselves - always putting others first etc.

But tl:dr - simply clean shoes and vegetarianism do not a good person make!

Unlike all the vegans on this thread?

”I do get a little frustrated with people who 'love' animals, yet continue to consume them. It's called cognitive dissonance. I was that person once. It's like feeling like a hypocrite.”

Has it ever crossed your mind that some people might have assessed the way meat is produced and come to a different conclusion from yours.

I eat meat and work hard to ensure it’s produced humanely. That is literally what my job entails. I have absolutely no cognitive dissonance over my decision.

I eat chicken, I'm a serial killer