What’s a subtle sign that a person is a good person?

[YouAreNotBatman]

As in you can just tell they are good people in an average situation.

Appearing standoffish or unfriendly may mean they're shy, apprehensive or introverted - certainly doesn't mean they're not nice people!

Would you automatically assume an extraverted. friendly looking, outgoing person WAS a nice person? I assure you, they're not all nice! Many bad people use it as a front!

When they have the opportunity to bitch about someone and they don’t, even thought they might agree. For me, when we clearly disagree politically but do so respectfully and kindly without scorn or spite.
I’d also add volunteering. Signing up to work at a food bank or shopping for an elderly person can seem wonderfully altruistic in the first few weeks but it can become a real drain on your free time after a while. If they do that uncomplainingly, they’re a good person.

Warmth, smiles that reach the eyes, listening more than talking. Calm, relaxed.

One of the directors where I work. She is an independent director so only comes in once a month or so. She arrives early, stops to chat with reception, doesn’t go straight to the Boardroom like the others but goes to the office to say hello to everyone, always asks how people are, listens to the reply and remembers it next time, generous with praise, supportive when it goes wrong. She always says thank you for things like the security guy holding her car parking place or the canteen organising the Board lunch, etc. She sets the highest possible business and performance standards and somehow gives everyone around her what they need to be better and want to strive to be better. Last time someone fairly junior in my office asked her about something low level and she sat down with them and had a long conversation about it in the same way she would if the CEO was wrestling with a thorny issue. She is generous with her time and her experience and makes the time to be that way.

It’s more than being a top professional, which she clearly is. It seems to be a real core goodness with people that makes her a brilliant professional rather than a great professional who has learnt how to be a good with people, if that make sense.

What I think people are predominantly describing is: Likeable.

Likeable is different to good though.

I always look at how they treat people they dont have to be nice to....do they treat waiters etc with respect....

Or charming or charismatic but not necessarily a good person. They just know how to manipulate the room

They're good with animals and children that's aren't their own (aswell as their own!)

I don't agree with the 'asks about you'... I have a friend who is always on transmit, she gets excited. She is the kindest person I think I've ever met.

I actually think it's really hard to tell, some of these 'nice' traits listed in here can be manipulation. Sorry that's not much use OP! I need to really get to know someone to be honest.

Treats staff with respect.

Doesn't look for a scapegoat for major problems.

Apologises properly if in the wrong.

Doesn't think Farage 'has a point'.

Their instinct is to help.

What a lovely sentiment - Thank you for sharing it.

Someone who is kind, but also values themselves.

I'm not sure I agree with the shopping cart analogy. Someone might return the trolley because they are neat and don't like things to be out of place, rather than intrinsically good. Or they might leave it in a safe place, so it doesn't roll onto another car, but not in the designated spot because the trolley spot is across the car park and they don't walk so well without support, or have just put the baby in the car and don't want to leave him unattended. Or they might just be a bit lazy that day, but not 'bad'.

Intellectual humility ….means they’re willing to admit to stuff they don’t know rather than pretending to be a know-it-all and spouting bullshit. Also people who are prepared to just listen without interruption….a rare, rare behaviour these days.

Gawd, I know at least 2 narcissists like this. Very charming, very dangerous.

I read once that if you don't put your shopping trolley back then you are keeping a member of staff in employment 😀

This, absolutely. I think that people can learn to be likeable, and use it for their own ends- even though this isn't always a conscious thing.

I think that good people tend not to be over-effusive. There are those who will always make a big fuss of complimenting your hair or makeup or whatever, to give you that short endorphin hit of good feelings. But the truly good people I know are a lot more sparing of their compliments, and they tend to give them quietly and without ceremony. I've never thought about it before, but maybe this is because the good folk aren't so preoccupied with being liked.

Someone who ensures their elderly parents are ok!

I agree with this- and especially the part about people keeping animals alive too long - this is for their own needs, not those of their pet.

However, re: eating meat: There is no easy death in a slaughterhouse.

How do they cope with personal failure and flaws? People who get angry when they're wrong.

Being naturally kind to people without trying to draw attention to the fact, holding doors, acknowledging greetings, saying thanks. That sort of thing. Personally I always wonder what ‘good person’ really means though. I felt the idea was a bit overstated during my religious upbringing, and always feel it finds me wanting!

Maybe being 'good' is simply not actively causing harm/doing a favour if you can manage it. Contributing more that is positive than negative - it doesn't mean being perfect all the time.

Someone who is polite to waiters and retail staff. I can’t stand people who are rude and condescending.

People who don’t judge others on the clothes they wear, the cars they drive, the places they eat or go on holiday. My area can be very ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ and I find people who don’t live they’re lives like that really refreshing.

Including people in the conversation, being inviting to others who may be on the fringes. As someone who is often left out of things you occasionally come across someone who effortlessly involves you and it is really nice.

Someone who displays empathy towards people, who cares for those who are worse off.

I rarely have clean shoes. And I sometimes dump the shopping trolley under the overhand at Morrisons if I am in too much pain to walk all the way to the trolley point...I am shit at talking to people and don't remember stuff...these are all disability related. I would like to think I am not a bad person and working towards being good:

I am autistic so can get a bit meltdowny and grumpy... Less so now I am diagnosed, peculiarly.

I agree though, being respectful to people who could be perceived as not important.

Jeffrey Dahmer gave his neighbour $60 to buy a gift for a wedding and refused to be paid back. That was nice of him.