Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What’s a subtle sign that a person is a good person?

263 replies

YouAreNotBatman · 17/10/2022 21:03

As in you can just tell they are good people in an average situation.

OP posts:
FacebookPhotos · 17/10/2022 21:52

Someone who wouldn’t even notice, let alone judge, if my shoes were dirty. They often are because life is short, and “clean shoes” is pretty low on my agenda!

kerstina · 17/10/2022 21:53

Yes but it was probably their religion ? Also knew a vegan who gave it up for her own health reasons not for cruelty reasons but I take your point but as I said it was my personal view about people who choose not to eat meat . Will give you an example someone like Ben Fogle .

WizardOfUK · 17/10/2022 21:53

Being kind to animals.
Cutting a cake and giving the other person the bigger piece

SallyWD · 17/10/2022 21:53

AffIt · 17/10/2022 21:12

Nice to animals and waiting staff / receptionists.

Clean shoes.

Road rage peaks at levels 1-3 (which is perfectly acceptable), rather than full-on level 10.

Clean shoes! 🤣🤣

JeanMarie · 17/10/2022 21:54

Empathy, integrity , humility , patience and a hint of self deprecation . Oh... and kind eyes....I think eyes can tell a lot about a person. Also agree with pp's who say how people interact with wait staff/shop assistants etc.

ImAvingOops · 17/10/2022 21:55

Doing what is right, rather than what is easy. Even when it leads to personal disadvantage. That's quite a big one though, not subtle.

Lots of people have good manners or charm, without actually being good people.

Ohyeaohyea · 17/10/2022 21:55

userwants2no · 17/10/2022 21:24

  1. Doesn't gossip
  2. Gives others the benefit of the doubt: If someone slighted them they don't hold grudges and plot revenge, instead they try to cut them some slack and see things from the other person's point of view. Make excuses for them like maybe they are going through something and remember
  3. They are honest about their flaws and self aware. They admit their mistakes and own their part in a problem
  4. Empathic, understands why a person may have done something wrong and doesn't judge them too harshly for it if a person is feeling silly already or stupid or made a mistake, they don't twist the knife further in instead they can be positive about it and gentle, helping them feel comfortable and how, like it was an easy mistake to make and such. Basically they lift people up.

Humble, honest, forgiving, gentle, sees the good in others without wanting recognition or expecting anything in return. Does things for the greater good rather than ME ME ME.

Freakin’ hell how many perfect saints do you have in your life lol

Lucidas · 17/10/2022 21:56

Being presented with the opportunity to gossip about someone and refusing to indulge in it.

IntentionalError · 17/10/2022 21:56

People who never bitch or gossip about others. This is something I absolutely can’t stand, so anyone who joins in with it gets a thumbs down from me.

Chattycathydoll · 17/10/2022 21:56

Behaves kindly toward the homeless.

On one of my first dates with now OH, we walked by a homeless person and he stopped to ask if there was anything he needed from the shops. He went right into the shop nearby, got the man the bits he asked for and a bag of oranges because of the vitamins. Then he apologised to me for making me wait.

He apologised for making me wait while he did something kind then said how worried he was about the numbers of homeless people around at the moment and maybe he should alert the local outreach. When we got to the cafe we were going to, I looked up the number for him so he could call.

Just the first indicator that I had met the kindest man in the world. If there were kindness medals, he would earn them.

AffIt · 17/10/2022 21:57

@ImAvingOops

Doing what is right, rather than what is easy. Even when it leads to personal disadvantage. That's quite a big one though, not subtle

Spot on.

Loads of #BeKind on this thread, but sometimes being good isn't necessarily about being kind.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 17/10/2022 21:57

kerstina · 17/10/2022 21:07

My personal view. If they are good to animals and don’t eat them . On the other end of the scale people who abuse animals are often the same with children . Evil.

I'm fairly indifferent to animals. I wouldn't hurt one but I don't care about them especially either. Where do I fall in your scale?

I'm not sure I believe in good or bad people. They are at polar opposites of the same scale. As people have pointed out, Hitler was a vegetarian and loved his dogs. Mother Teresa has had her criticisms, about only giving sub-standard medical care to those she didn't deem 'worthy' enough. I think we can all agree where they fall on the scale though!

Citalopramadvice · 17/10/2022 22:00

If they have kids, they mention then off the bat.

No kids, kindness to servers, me and respectful language

Mango101 · 17/10/2022 22:00

''People who seem glad to meet/see you
People who remember details you’ve told them in the past
People who make an effort with everyone''

Aren't the second two just an indication of good memory and good social skills ? Could still be a rotter !

Snoopsnoggysnog · 17/10/2022 22:03

I agree with the Pp who posted about her DH having good friends. That’s a sure fire sign

definitelynotlistening · 17/10/2022 22:05

Kind to children.
Honest.
Integrity is everything.

SnoozyLucy7 · 17/10/2022 22:05

A genuinely good person is capable of doing bad things, equally a person who is considered as being bad, is capable of doing good things. It’s never clear cut and so often the perception of good and bad, in others, is quite subjective. Pain, hurt, addiction, poverty, economic deprivation, depression, desperation, war, exploitation and so on - can make the kindest person do “bad” things. But does that make them fundamentally bad? I don’t think it does.

Equally, you have narcissists or psychopaths who can mimic, to perfection, the act of being a really “good” person, and sustain that facade for a very long time, in order to accomplish their goals.

Human beings are not either just good or just bad. It’s not possible

Soproudoflionesses · 17/10/2022 22:05

Hohofortherobbers · 17/10/2022 21:14

Listening rather than talking, asking about you and remembering the last thing you were discussing.

This

hardtochangename · 17/10/2022 22:06

There's a confusion of ideas here. Being 'nice', having good social skills, being overtly charming, clean shoes, nice manners etc doesn't equate to being good, whatever that means. A decent person has a moral core and treats others kindly on the whole but they're not saints (who are a pretty boring lot).

BlodynGwyn · 17/10/2022 22:06

OoooohMatron · 17/10/2022 21:12

Wasn't Hitler a vegetarian? Agree about cruelty to animals though.

Show quote history

Hitler wasn't a vegetarian. His favorite food was German sausage.

Mummummummumyyyyy · 17/10/2022 22:08

AffIt · 17/10/2022 21:12

Nice to animals and waiting staff / receptionists.

Clean shoes.

Road rage peaks at levels 1-3 (which is perfectly acceptable), rather than full-on level 10.

Agree with 2 of your points but curious as to how clean shoes makes you a nice person?

Avrenim · 17/10/2022 22:08

Kind; cares about other people's feelings; doesn't only pay attention to those around them who can further their careers or be of benefit to them (we have a whole heap of that last type where I currently work). Thinks about the effects of their actions on others.

HappyDays40 · 17/10/2022 22:09

Their resting face is pleasant or in a smile ☺

JaceLancs · 17/10/2022 22:10

How they talk about other people
how they treat other people
are the main 2 I consider

ChagSameachDoreen · 17/10/2022 22:10

StopFeckingFaffing · 17/10/2022 21:17

They don't treat people differently depending on how important they may or may not be

THIS.

I was younger than a lot of my colleagues, and used to get a lot of people thinking I was "just" the receptionist or PA. I lost respect for many people who changed their tune and were suddenly nice to me when they realised I was actually quite high up in the organisation.