How often do you have fights with your other half?

[bookworm1982]

I'm talking like shouting in each other's faces. My husband and I have been together for twenty years. We seem to do it a few times a year. Otherwise we get on well. He thinks it's normal. Is it?

Thanks all for your messages. Feel a little worse after reading all this but I suspected I would. Just to be a little clearer, we are both opinionated, my husband more so. He's kind of loud, so sometimes when he claims he's just 'talking normally' it feels like he's shouting. The arguments are usually when we're stressed (just moved), worried about money, or sleep deprived. Our children do not sleep well. Note: they've never witnessed one of these shouty arguments. And to whoever mentioned it, it does not get violent and we make up fairly soon.

Never. Been married 19 years. This is only partly to do with what your actual relationship is like. It's mostly to do with what kind of person you are (and what kind of person your partner is). I don't have shouting-in-your-face arguments with anyone. Ever. I am not a volatile person. My husband is a louder person than me, but also not volatile.

Tbh I think the idea that non-turbulent relationships are boring and that volatility means love and passion is one of the most stupid opinions ever!

It depends. We can go months without an issue then it feels like a battle for weeks. We do shout and argue a lot but that’s us and the day he stops fighting back is the day I will worry.

It’s never for us too I’m afraid.

Never.

Your kids have absolutely witnessed your shouty arguments if they're that regular.

Never shouting!
Very occasionally the odd bicker or moan at each other (a few times a year). DH is really quite chilled and we’re both very happy together.

I’m impressed you can both contain your shouting and only do it when you’re children aren’t home.

Never. He's too frightened of me

Maybe 2-3 "big rows" in six years.

When we were younger we used to argue loads (mainly instigated by me!) - but now we're both mid-40s, never.

I'm not sure if I've become more chilled and tolerant or he's become less annoying 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

We've never shouted in each other's faces, I wouldn't be with someone who did that, that's awful. We bicker occasionally but we don't shout.

It really depends on the sort of people you are. We are pretty volcanic in our house and esp when we were first married we did fight a lot but then we were very quick to make up after a quarrel. As the years have gone on we have become far more regulated but it still happens occasionally. But the main thing is not to go to bed on the quarrel. Make it up quickly. Forgiveness is the key. I know couple so don’t shout but then don’t speak to each other for days. That is far worse

We never have, been married 27 years
Would hate it if we did

Never shouted in each other's faces though. Our arguments would be slightly raised voices followed by a strop for a few hours (normally till I'd ate or napped )

Never. That's horrible! I would be upset if my kids ever saw us behaving like that. We don't shout at eachother generally either. Maybe a handful of times over the 12 years we have been together.

We’ve had cross words (a handful of times if that), we’ve never had a full blown shouting match.

Never. Shouting in each other faces is not normal We have disagreements but behave like adults.

We've been together a decade and I can't remember us ever shouting in each other's faces

Don’t feel too bad! I don’t think the multitudes of people who argue regularly with their partners (many of whom still wholeheartedly want to be in their relationships) would reply in a thread like this, so I think the general theme of the answers is skewed.

Blazing, swearing "want to punch him in his fat face" rows are prob 2-3 a year. Sometimes you both just catch each other in the wrong mood and it erupts usually from nothing. We don't physically get in each other's faces though.

Shouting in each others face - never

Swearing at each other, name calling or being rude - never

Had words and raised voices - maybe once every few months

Snap at each other, every error or so

We've been together a similar amount of time. We've had the odd shouting match, but it's lessened over time as we've realized it just upsets us both.

We have the odd snappy conversation and times when we steer clear of each other as we're grumpy...like me yesterday evening, DH knew it was best just to let me stomp around doing chores with a face like a smacked arse. 😂

Never

We've never shouted in each others' faces. I'd be devastated if my DH ever did that to me.

We have maybe shouted at each other 2 or 3 times in 14 years.

We bicker a few times a year.

We're not perfect. It helps that we got together when in our 30s, so don't have much to get passionate about! We're just boringly well suited.