How often do you have fights with your other half?

[bookworm1982]

I'm talking like shouting in each other's faces. My husband and I have been together for twenty years. We seem to do it a few times a year. Otherwise we get on well. He thinks it's normal. Is it?

I think once you feel the need to raise your voice you have lost the argument anyway. We are not shouty people so it does not happen here.

Never in 28 years. About once every 3-4 years one of us might snap at the other and we might have 60 seconds of not speaking to eachother, but then we move on. If one of us has snapped and it's over anything that matters, we normally chat about the options a day or two later and sort.

Never. We disagree sometimes but never argue. I've never heard him raise his voice.

My ex on the other hand all day every day I saw him.

Maybe 3 times during our 9 year relationship - and that's when we were going through some stuff.

I watched my parents for years (they still do it) shouting/hurling abuse in each others faces ...it was very violent.Monkey see monkey do...so I did repeat this behaviour with my hubby ....but to a much much lesser degree. We have been married 31 yrs this Dec and man the progress we have made together in how we deal with differences of opinion , which we welcome, is quite astounding. We agree to disagree at times but we have learnt to listen to understand rather than listen to defend nowadays. Feels nice 😀

Never full-on shouted in each other's faces and can't even comprehend how that would be acceptable.

In 10 years, maybe 2-3 sweary arguments that descended into Not Talking To Each Other (for the rest of that day, always apologised and made up before bed). None of them were over important things, just a case of both of us catching the other at our most pissy/grumpy and escalating.

If I was arguing badly with someone frequently I would take that as a sign of incompatibility.

Never, we argue and bicker, but we don’t shout at each other, mainly as we both have a bit of a temper so it would be a disaster as we would both be horrible to each other.

Never. I can think of no reason to shout in his face and I wouldn't tolerate him doing it to me. He's an adult, he can use his words.

Also there's nothing to fight about because he does plenty of chores and childcare and never comes home with some weird harebrained scheme like wanting to spunk our savings on crypto or spending hundreds playing golf.

Absolutely never. The very occasional irritable snap perhaps but we are on the same page about most things and both appreciate a peaceful and calm relationship.

We bicker regularly but a full on slanging match a few times a year like you. We make up pretty quickly afterwards though.

No never in each other's faces, and I would be so intimidated by a man shouting in my face I would never stand for it. We have disagreements a few times a year but not shouting.

Why is it getting to that point op?

Never. Why be in a relationship with someone who shouts at you or you feel the need to shout at?

Never. Any man who shouted in my face would be out of my life. DH and I have been together more than 30 years and obviously disagreed many times, and been grumpy with one another, but screaming in my face would be abusive. And definitely not something I would have wanted to model to my dc as ‘normal’ in a relationship.

Never, we bicker and have had a couple of big disagreements over the years but never shouted in each others faces. That would really upset me to be honest. Not something I'm used to. Been with DH 35 years.

Same with sulking and ignoring each other, I couldn't bear it. I have a friend who regularly goes days without speaking to her DH.

It really depends on temperament though. Neither me nor DP are shouty or particularly confrontational but I sometimes wish we were as I hate any passive aggressive snide or sarcastic remarks. My DP mutters under his breath a lot and I usually call him out on it. But we've never done shouting at each other. Though I did once lock him in the back garden...totally by accident obviously

We haven't ever yelled at each other like that, up in each other's faces. I'm not an angel, if someone screamed in my face I'd likely nut them, so just as well really 😬

We have argued and become louder in exasperation in our 20+years together but it's never been aggressive.

Being mediterranen/scottish makes me very fiesty so there is a lot of shouting in our house

Yeah, maybe that bad once or twice a year. I hate arguments and shouting so it takes a lot to make me shout. I cut him some slack as he comes from a very confrontational family where everyone goes to Defcon 1 ridiculously fast. He has got loads better so we've not actually had any really bad ones for a few years now. Interestingly I realised recently this has kind of coincided with him going lower contact with his parents as well.

Obviously it's different for everyone. I think its wrong to assume something has to be 'up' with a relationship where there's no serious arguments, or that a relationship with them must be untenable just because one or the other is not your own experience. Which is something peole easily slide into assuming sometimes.

Shouting in each other's faces? Never.

Never ever. That’s verbal abuse. I hope your children don’t witness it.

I hate shouting. My DH and I bicker sometimes, but we don’t raise voices and we try and communicate via discussions and putting our point across while listening to each other- and after our DS is in bed.

Obviously we’re not perfect and don’t get it right all the time - but screaming in each other’s faces is not a healthy relationship or normal way to behave.

Never shouted in someone’s face, would never tolerate being shouted at either.
DP of 10yrs we disagree of course but never raised voices.

Never have and we've been together 18 years. He's like, the nicest guy ever. I've been in a bad mood with him once or twice but never had a shouting row.

Nope never. We have disagreements like any other couple but have never actually had a full on shouty argument in 17 years.

Never in 32 years tbh fir shouting and falling out.
I cant remember our last argument.
We get narked with each other from time to time but it's not a big deal.