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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think sending your child to nursery, ill is selfish

273 replies

Anon778833 · 16/10/2022 19:29

If my toddler is ill, I do not send her into nursery - it’s as simple as that. If I have to not go into work, that’s just how it is.

There has been an outbreak of slapped cheek at my daughter’s nursery which she caught and now I also have caught too. And it’s a really horrible virus. My poor dd hasn’t eaten for nearly a week. And she is STILL spiking temperature.

Nursery sent out a message to say that thanks to people bringing ill children to nursery, they now have staff shortages. And that people must not bring ill kids to nursery.

I thought this was common sense.

OP posts:
Ohwellwhateverthen · 16/10/2022 19:32

You're very lucky that you can afford to take the day off whenever your child is sick. That's a privilege not many people I know have these days.

Wibbly1008 · 16/10/2022 19:32

I’m am totally sick if seeing Ill kids dragged into school, looking like they should be in bed. I’m a working mum, but if they are sick they stay home. We are constantly getting nasty bugs like Scarlett fever and flu, because sick kids are being taken in. I know kids have coughs and colds that get passed on, but honestly some kids are dragged in at deaths door the poor little mites.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 16/10/2022 19:34

Blame employers who expect parents (usually working mums) to be present at work regardless.

LooneyToon · 16/10/2022 19:34

Agreed this annoys me too.. not only that but it is bit sad for the child who is sent to school or nursery feeling rotten.. I see children at my nursery who are clearly unwell and I think it is very selfish

Wardrobemalfunction22 · 16/10/2022 19:34

Its common sense of course, but spare a thought for the people who can't take time off work. I'm sure they'd rather be at home with their sick child too. Not everyone can suddenly take a day off without massive inconvenience.

If my child is ill I have to choose between letting down all my patients for the day or not. Asking my team to rebook all their appointments or asking colleagues to cover for me at very short notice. Not that easy.

bellac11 · 16/10/2022 19:36

Another problem is parents getting hammered for poor attendance at their child's school due to sickness

What are parents supposed to do?

RedWingBoots · 16/10/2022 19:37

Unfortunately some people have employers e.g. parts of the NHS who don't give a shit if you have a sick child.

Then there are some parents who simply don't believe their child is sick.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 16/10/2022 19:37

Is this a day nursery or a pre school type setting?

I can understand it happening in a childcare nursery very easily because people just don’t have the option of taking time off easily. They’re already struggling to pay bills and can’t afford to lose wages by taking time off for dependants.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 16/10/2022 19:37

Ohwellwhateverthen · 16/10/2022 19:32

You're very lucky that you can afford to take the day off whenever your child is sick. That's a privilege not many people I know have these days.

That’s not the nursery’s problem. Nor should it be mine. And they will only call you up and send the child home if ill so you gain nothing.

OP posts:
Fluffluff · 16/10/2022 19:37

The problem is slapped cheek is infectious before symptoms appear as arw quite a lot of viruses.
Thinks like V and D bugs are not so the 48hr rule is needed but it's a bit harsh and worrying that nursey

HumunaHey · 16/10/2022 19:38

Ohwellwhateverthen · 16/10/2022 19:32

You're very lucky that you can afford to take the day off whenever your child is sick. That's a privilege not many people I know have these days.

We're not talking about a cold here.

Do you think every other parent can afford to take time off work? If YOU knowingly send your sick child into a nursery setting, it spreads like wildfire. Then every other kid gets it, the staff get it, some parents get it. Most kids who are properly ill will be sent home anyway. So more people end up having to take time off because one selfish person didn't give a shit about spreading things.

2pinkginsplease · 16/10/2022 19:38

If a child is visibly unwell they should not be in nursery, it just ends up with staff off unwell and they end up with having to close rooms in the nursery which affects other families.
If it’s just a sniffle or cold then they can go but if they are lethargic and not their usual self they should be kept home., we have had children dosed up with calpol and as soon as the calpol wears off , it’s a shame for the child. Yes parents need to work but surely health of your child is more important

a

Merryoldgoat · 16/10/2022 19:38

My boys have already had over 10 days off between them this term. More to come and I’m sitting here with a very poorly 4yo.

It’s fucking hideous. Im with you OP.

TescoCustomerService · 16/10/2022 19:38

I sent my son to nursery with COVID, some of us simply can't have the time off work and would rather send them to nursery/school than get fired for absence. My workplace ended their policy to not fire staff for family emergency absence, so if anyone in my household is unwell yet can still attend nursery/school/work, they will.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 16/10/2022 19:38

bellac11 · 16/10/2022 19:36

Another problem is parents getting hammered for poor attendance at their child's school due to sickness

What are parents supposed to do?

Quite

OP posts:
ladygindiva · 16/10/2022 19:38

I know some non working mums who send their kids to school simply because they cba with them at home. Grinds my gears.

Fluffluff · 16/10/2022 19:38

Havnt the sense or knowledge to know that

Cw112 · 16/10/2022 19:38

SilverGlitterBaubles · 16/10/2022 19:34

Blame employers who expect parents (usually working mums) to be present at work regardless.

This. There needs to be better allowances made for carer or dependents leave for parents in the workplace in general.

Sirzy · 16/10/2022 19:38

The thing is like most viruses slapped cheek is at its most contagious before any symptoms. I don’t think it is one where it is adviced you have to stay off (unless ill with it of course)

ladygindiva · 16/10/2022 19:39
  • send them to school ill that should read
ivfbabymomma1 · 16/10/2022 19:39

At school you get in trouble with attendance unfortunately :( even though I'm with you Op

Original poster
Anon778833 · 16/10/2022 19:39

TescoCustomerService · 16/10/2022 19:38

I sent my son to nursery with COVID, some of us simply can't have the time off work and would rather send them to nursery/school than get fired for absence. My workplace ended their policy to not fire staff for family emergency absence, so if anyone in my household is unwell yet can still attend nursery/school/work, they will.

That’s irresponsible. Absolutely no way I’d send my child to school or nursery with covid. Sod people who are vulnerable, eh?

OP posts:
SpeckofDustUponMySoul · 16/10/2022 19:40

My reception age twins have already had several days off this term and the Head contacted me on Friday to say he was concerned about their attendance. 🤦

Original poster
Anon778833 · 16/10/2022 19:40

Sirzy · 16/10/2022 19:38

The thing is like most viruses slapped cheek is at its most contagious before any symptoms. I don’t think it is one where it is adviced you have to stay off (unless ill with it of course)

You have to stay off until the rash appears. That’s what we were told. It’s no better than sending someone to nursery with chicken pox.

OP posts:
Snowpaw · 16/10/2022 19:42

If I kept my DD off for every sniffle or mild common childhood illness I couldn’t have held down a job until she was about 3 and a half. She got ill that regularly.

If she had a temperature or there was any sick / diorrhoea involved then of course I absolutely kept her off, but there were days that I sent her in with a very snotty nose for example when she was absolutely fine in herself otherwise. Their immune systems have to be challenged at some point.