To think sending your child to nursery, ill is selfish

[Anon778833]

If my toddler is ill, I do not send her into nursery - it’s as simple as that. If I have to not go into work, that’s just how it is.

There has been an outbreak of slapped cheek at my daughter’s nursery which she caught and now I also have caught too. And it’s a really horrible virus. My poor dd hasn’t eaten for nearly a week. And she is STILL spiking temperature.

Nursery sent out a message to say that thanks to people bringing ill children to nursery, they now have staff shortages. And that people must not bring ill kids to nursery.

I thought this was common sense.

It’s very selfish - and for those of us who work at nursery and then catch illness from your sick child, we then need to take a day off with little or no pay. It’s annoying. And the amount of parents who just plain lie - oh yes he is fine, temperature completely gone now. And the temperature is gone, but it will be back by lunchtime when the calpol wears off.

Agreed. This is my 4th child to go through nursery and the rules have always been that if the child has a fever, that’s when they should be at home.

You are a disgrace.

Indeed sod people who are vulnerable, why should others lives be put on hold or inconvenienced because someone has a weak immune system. I actually have a weak immune system due to a genetic disorder yet If someone who's COVID or whatever condition positive wants to do their usual routine, so be it. It's up to me to protect myself, not other people to protect me.

But before the rash appears most people wouldn’t know that’s what it is!

that’s the problem with incubation periods, you don’t know your spreading something until it’s too late

It's ok to send your sick child in, spread covid around and then other parents have to take time off?

Slapped cheek is contagious before they show any symptoms. Cant blame other parents for that. Same as chicken pox, contagious way before they get the spots.

If I have a day off work with a sick child, chances are I will struggle to make ends meet the next month and may have to skip meals myself in order to feed my children. A lot of parents are in this situation, especially single parents. I'm pretty lucky that I have family to help but most people don't have that. I try not to judge too harshly.

How can you protect yourself when an idiot knowingly sends their child to school with covid? Ring every parent and let them know beforehand, did you?

I agree if kids are coughing/running temps or feeling sick they should stay home.

Slapped cheek is not the same though. It's contagious before the rash appears, when you wouldn't know you have it. And when the rash appears, the NHS advice is that children do not need to miss school and people do not need to miss work if they have it.

So if nursery phones the parent at work and says the child is ill and you need to pick them up, what do the parents say? ‘No, I’m not taking him - call social services because I need to work ’ ?? 😬

If you don’t want to take time off work when your child is ill, then don’t have children! They are your responsibility, not a childcare providers.

Yeah my DH got a formal warning for having to take a day off for our vomiting children. He's terrified to take time off now. My job isn't particularly supportive of sick days either.

I'm not saying I send my kids in sick, I don't. But not all companies are understanding

My daughter has been extremely poorly for over a week and the rash only appeared on Friday.

Yep totally with you. I took my 3.5 year old DT’s out of pre school a week before my DD’s scheduled operation. Two weeks later (so off 3 weeks in total) I was totally horrified at the amount of children queueing up that looked so so poorly, were coughing literally all over the place.

It’s very frustrating although of course I do have sympathy with other parents who are in impossible situations with regards to missing work

Juggling working and the endless cycles of DCs illnesses was definitely one of the most stressful times as a parent. I felt that I was a rubbish parent if I chose to send them in or rubbish at my job and that I was letting my colleagues and boss down if I chose to stay at home with a poorly child. I just couldn't win, it was horrible and I almost left my job several times because of the stress of it all.

When my dc were small (one in nursery, on in school) one of them (can't even remember which one it was such a weird time) caught slapped cheek syndrome. I then caught it and I was really poorly. It then caused my immune system to go into overdrive and kicked off my psoriatic arthritis. I'm on immunosuppressants for life now and had years of trying to get it under control. Some days I could hardly walk. I'm not saying this could be avoided as we all know kids bring viruses know but if you can avoid sending your dc in poorly you should. Sometimes it's not just a 'virus' for everyone.

I agree OP. It's incredibly selfish of parents to send sick children in.

As others have said a lot of these things are most contagious before symptoms appear.

I don’t think it’s as clear cut as others are making out tbh. My children are snotty and sneezy from October til about April. Usually it’s just a cold - like every other preschooler - and I would only keep them off if they seemed unwell in themselves. But sometimes it gets a bit worse and there’s a period where it might be something else coming through, or not, and it’s not at all clear. And hand on heart this is every third day in winter.

I was hopeful that thanks to covid we would as a society accept it wasn’t ok to go to work/school/nursery anywhere when unwell. And it seemed that way for a while but seems worse than ever now.

It’s so hard because the expectations of parents to be at work etc is high and I’m assuming that’s why a lot of kids end up at nursery. Thankfully my job is different hours to DP so whenever DD is unwell she’s off. She had a virus that wiped her out for almost 2 weeks, and then kept reoccurring a few days a week for like a month. I imagine if she wasn’t still at nursery we would have gotten pulled up for attendance too.

You mean that virus that kills people? That COVID?

Believe it or not, peoples situations can change dramatically after already having children. Most parents do their best to balance it. I understand you have a poorly child right now but as it is slapped cheek, the chances are the parents did not know their child was ill when they sent them to nursery. You can't really be angry at them about it. I went out with my friend and her child came out with chicken pox the next day. All 3 of mine came down with it 10 days later, I wasn't arsey with her, these things happen.

Is it really impossible to have a little empathy for working parents doing their best? My almost 3yo dd seems to have caught every bug going at the moment. If I'd kept her home every time she started looking a bit unwell, I would absolutely have lost my job by now. If I'd split those days with dh, we would probably both be on final warnings for attendance. I don't know about anyone else but one of us losing our job at the moment would be pretty catastrophic for us and the kids. It's not selfish to need to keep a roof over our heads.

I won’t lie, I send my son with a bit of a cough or a cold, especially if he is able to still run around the house and play as normal but I certainly wouldn’t send him what I consider to be actually poorly. Equally, symptoms can come on so quick. We were sent home with chicken pox, it was the tiniest little dot on his skin When they sent him home and of course I got him straight away but it 100% wasn’t there when I dropped him off. Same as when he was sent home with a temperature and stomach bug, he was fine when I dropped him off. Also pretty sure he got both illnesses from nursery but It is quite possible that the parents of the children who made him sick, also didn’t know their kids were sick when they were initially sent into nursery

Agreed. It is shit selfish behaviour. They just pass the problem onto other parents, and the staff. Everyone knows which parents do this, and which behave responsibly.

Meanwhile when DD1 had it she had been absolutely fine then woke up with the rash 🤷🏻‍♀️ Her experience isn't unusual. If the DC who spread it to yours was as sick as your DD, they would have been sent home.

I’m sorry to hear this - that sounds awful. I knew that my dd had something horrible because calpol was not bringing her temperature down.