To think sending your child to nursery, ill is selfish

[Anon778833]

If my toddler is ill, I do not send her into nursery - it’s as simple as that. If I have to not go into work, that’s just how it is.

There has been an outbreak of slapped cheek at my daughter’s nursery which she caught and now I also have caught too. And it’s a really horrible virus. My poor dd hasn’t eaten for nearly a week. And she is STILL spiking temperature.

Nursery sent out a message to say that thanks to people bringing ill children to nursery, they now have staff shortages. And that people must not bring ill kids to nursery.

I thought this was common sense.

Totally agree. I got covid because children were coming in with it and I had 8 days off unpaid. I got ssp. A measly £96 .8 staff members ended up being off. Rooms were closed.

There are some selfish people about. Who think it's only them that matter.

@Rosebel and those parents who lie about the fact they've medicated their children to send them into nursery are wrong to do so.

But that wasn't the point I was making. The OP was saying that parents were bringing evidently unwell children into nursery. Then the nursery were sending angry emails to parents. My point is - the nursery should be implementing their own policies not passive aggressively sending angry emails to all as another OP said, it's antagonistic. You deal with the issue at hand and deal with the people responsible.

But the OP doesn't think the nursery has a duty to police their own policies. That's bonkers to me, because then what you're saying is the nursery in question doesn't take its own safeguarding/illness policies seriously OR at handover it wasn't obvious a child was unwell but a few hours after a child became unwell and then we're into the loop of well who is then to blame and can you really say then it was evident? How do you know the parents knew? And again the bulk email becomes divisive and antagonistic.

That's what I take issue with. If the nursery has clear written policies then of course it is up to them to police it with the alternative to parents being - if you don't like our policies you can choose a different childcare solution.

I don't believe that the majority or indeed loads of parents willfully neglect their children, give them medicine without informing their carers (risking potential overdosing) and/or drop their kids off with a raging temperature and dump and run.

I can believe there are some arsehols that do it but not the majority. I think for the most part it's borderline cases that parents are having to make a judgement on against a backdrop of huge pressure.

So I do think that nurseries have the responsibility to deal with the parents who 'blatently' break the rules in the interest of the welfare of all the children, their parents and their families - because no one else but the nursery themselves are in a position to do it

Now if you're not sure that it's blatent then it goes back to the other points and unfortunately we have to chalk it up to well that's life. But a bulk angry email is not the solution and I too would have issue sending my child to a place that dealt with parents like that.

I often see sick kids at my child’s day care and school. It annoys me as I know it will be my child, then my entire family sick next. But I also understand not everyone can afford to take a day off work. Also I remember once seeing a mother drop a very sick little boy at my child’s day care. I didn’t need to question the staff as to why they accepted him when he was visibly sick. The boys mother was clearly heavily intoxicated and day care was clearly the safest place for this little boy I wasn’t going to argue with that.

The nursery weren’t rude at all. They just said ‘we understand it’s difficult when people work but your child cannot come to nursery if they are ill because we end up with staff shortages’

The nursery is highly oversubscribed. We had to wait 6 months for this place so if people want to take offence then I doubt it will affect them in the least.

The boys mother was clearly heavily intoxicated and day care was clearly the safest place for this little boy I wasn’t going to argue with that.

😲

Employers' policy and culture on parents caring for sick kids is important. I think it's one of the questions we should be asking when we look for jobs - things like this matter more to me than other work benefits.

Slapped cheek is a good one to catch though. Dangerous in pregnancy if you have never had it.

I almost certainly sent my DC in with scarlet fever. At no point did I send her in when she seemed too unwell to go. It presents as a cold-type illness first, then the rash and strawberry tongue appears. Most of these illnesses, including chicken pox, are contagious before the key symptoms appear.

Yes, you shouldn't send in your ill child, but I think you are unreasonable in thinking that is the only way these illnesses spread.

Yes, this is something I didn’t know about. I won’t be having any more babies though. I did read that once you’ve had it, you’re usually immune. The problem is that nursery aged children often have pregnant mothers.

So nursery age girls would benefit from catching it.

Most UK adult women have had it through early exposure. Let's not change that.

I work in a nursery. We always know if a child has been dosed up on calpol and the time it will wear off... I've seen parents wiping conjunctivitis out of their childs eyes as they walk up the path, children smelling of sick where they have clearly vomited that morning etc.. Seen it all. Of course I feel for working parents, I am one, but it is selfish. It's not fair on the other children, parents or the staff who care for the children. I believe Slapped cheek can be dangerous to pregnant woman so even more selfish

It’s very selfish - and for those of us who work at nursery and then catch illness from your sick child, we then need to take a day off with little or no pay. It’s annoying.

The thing is, if f I keep DS at home every time he has a bit of a cold then not only do I lose a day’s pay, I also lose the money I’ve already paid for childcare as we don’t get refunded for days he’s off sick. I can’t afford to lose nearly £200 a day every time my kid gets the snots.

This. This. This.

Not everyone has the luxury of choice.

Some people have to make very difficult decisions.

Yeah but sending a child in is fine as long as they’re well in themselves. I agree with you that toddlers are snotty a lot of the time. What you don’t do is send them in when they are not eating / vomiting / have a high temperature.

And this ‘don’t have the luxury’ nonsense is such BS. Your child will get sent home anyway.

NHS guidance is clear that a child with conjunctivitis does not need to stay away from school or nursery.

One child’s “just a bit snotty” can be another child’s hospitalised unable to breathe though.

some thinks like chicken pox (when you know they have it!) and D and V it’s easy to know but often it’s much more of a judgement call. It’s not a black and white decision.

you're potentially going to affect 30 or so kids whose parents have to take a couple of days off and may also not be able to afford not getting paid. Why do you think your one day is more important than 30 other parents days?

Are those 30 parents who got to keep their wages going to club together and reimburse the parent who lost theirs because they kept their kid off? Of course not.

Other people’s financial situations are not my problem. Other people’s employers are not my problem. Other people’s clinically vulnerable grannies are not my problem. And the same goes for them about me. We’re all too busy taking care of our own to fall on our swords for the sake of other people we don’t even know. That’s just how the world is.

But if you ignore nursery rules then you are wrong. End of. They are there for everyone’s benefit.

This. Exactly this.

Your child may have just a snotty nose, my child is left fighting for his life in hospital.

So if you think I give a damn about you not being paid because of your sick child, I really don’t. Your inability to get a job with better benefits is not something I have any sympathy for when you are willing to spread your child’s illness around to others. I have nearly lost my son too many times to care about your poor pay.

Our nursery (attached to a school) only cites ‘fever, d&v and impetigo’ as reasons they must

So are you going to reimburse the parent who loses childcare fees and wages when they keep their snotty kid off so that your DS doesn’t get sick and you can still go to work?

No. You don’t give a damn about them, so why should they suck it up for your sake?

It goes both ways.

I’ve never sent any of my children to school/nursery when ill (I’m very lucky that my work is flexible, but that’s neither here nor there) BUT I’ve had to collect them all from school various times, because their bug was really unhelpful and didn’t show itself before school started.

You don’t think I also lose childcare fees? My child has been in nursery for 6 months, and he’s only gone for half of that as he’s been in and out of hospital because of selfish parents who send their sick children to nursery.

But hey, as long as you have money, who cares about the lives of small children. It doesn’t go both ways - life is more important than money and if you genuinely think otherwise, well your morals aren’t worth debating about.

Will you reimburse the parents like Glitteratitar whose child ends up in hospital which means more time off work, visiting child in hospital, etc?

When my dc was little they were sick too often for me to afford to take that much leave.
It's not always possible to take annual leave everytime your dc gets sick. I don't know anyone who wants to do this. I used to get 20 days plus bank holidays which were set. 3 days were forced leave over Christmas that left me with 17 days a year. And even these were sometimes dictated when I should take them. That's nothing when you actually want to spend a couple with your dc too.