To think sending your child to nursery, ill is selfish

[Anon778833]

If my toddler is ill, I do not send her into nursery - it’s as simple as that. If I have to not go into work, that’s just how it is.

There has been an outbreak of slapped cheek at my daughter’s nursery which she caught and now I also have caught too. And it’s a really horrible virus. My poor dd hasn’t eaten for nearly a week. And she is STILL spiking temperature.

Nursery sent out a message to say that thanks to people bringing ill children to nursery, they now have staff shortages. And that people must not bring ill kids to nursery.

I thought this was common sense.

I just can’t understand how anyone could actually drop their child off when they are obviously ill and need to be in bed. It’s cruel. My dd didn’t even go to her dad’s this weekend because she doesn’t want to be anywhere but home.

I imagine parents that are forced to send dc in when they’re unwell and they would prefer to keep them tucked up at home already feel guilty. But if the other option is not eating or becoming homeless, then it’s by far the lesser of two evils.
Fortunately I’ve never been in the position where I’ve needed to make that choice, anyone with a shred of decency should be sympathising with anyone in it, not judging them or trying to make them feel more guilty.

What provision do all of the working parents (who can't take time off) have for school holidays? They must have something in place as 13 weeks school holiday per year is a rarity in most other work places. Grandparents? Friends? Neighbours? Other family members?

My daughter has a sniffle / cough on and off from Sep to Feb. If she doesn't have a temp, and she's and full of life as usual she's going to school.

If its S n D I will assess what's caused it but most probably keep her off unless it's been triggered by an intolerance.

I dont begrudge kids going to schools with a cold, it's when the parents are aware of aserious illnesses I get annoyed. But often parents aren't even aware. My eldest went to school with measles, she seemed fine in the morning no symptoms by the afternoon she had a temp the next day she had two measles bumps on her back. I have no doubt she passed that around as she was very tactile but I didn't even know she was ill, obviously kept her off until she had the all clear.

It happens, it is not always down to parents being neglectful or selfish.

How awful. I’m so sorry. This is another thing. The mothers of toddlers are more likely to be pregnant.

This happened to us last month. Someone knowingly sent their child to school with covid. My DC who is high risk vulnerable then contracted covid. I understand they could have contracted it anywhere. DC was off really ill for 2 weeks so I had to take time off work. I work in another school with vulnerable SEN children who then were unable to attend school because there was no staff cover for them. So the knock on effect of one person not wanting to lose any pay meant that 3 families also had to take time off work and lose pay as well!

It's kind of a big issue for alot of working mums. Once that is fixed it won't be an issue! I'm very lucky that I have support with my 3 children. You can bet that if I always took time off my work would make life difficult for me!

I was at a toddler group once and one of the mums brought an older child along, the group organiser asked why they were there and she said ‘Oh the school said she can’t come in with Scarlet fever’ 😱

Surely it's better to send a child to school with colds and coughs etc to help build up their immune system? My child always had a snotty nose, it was expected this time of year for children to have a bad cold constantly.

It’s so selfish as it just passes the problem onto other parents and if their child is really unwell they then have to miss work. I agree that you can’t keep them off for every cough and cold but when they are actually unwell they need to be at home. I’m self employed and keep my children off when they are ill but every time someone sends their ill children in, I risk loosing more income. Childcare and school aren’t there to care for sick children that’s our job as a parent and the more parents who accepted this the less bugs and illnesses there would be going round school and nursery.

I never have sent my children in when they're unwell. They belong at home imo.

@Elsamit i was a teacher so those 13 weeks were covered by me. I cannot emphasise how difficult it was to take a day off for a sick child as a teacher. I have a different job now and WFH. My sick child will stay home with me tomorrow. Back when I was a teacher my child would be going to school tomorrow even though they vomited yesterday morning.

If they have a fever they shouldn’t be there. It says that in most contracts.

I have sympathy for parents who lose a days pay when their kids are sick, but most people would have known that when they decided to have a kid and most parents would have known that kids get sick at nursery (appreciate cost of living has gone up and people may not have as much choice now, but people sent their pukey kids into nursery way before the recent crisis).

And more importantly the people saying 'I lose a days pay though'...you're potentially going to affect 30 or so kids whose parents have to take a couple of days off and may also not be able to afford not getting paid. Why do you think your one day is more important than 30 other parents days?

I sent my son to nursery with COVID
Words fail me

I do a mix of annual leave and a paid for holiday club, like a lot of parents I expect. I don't have any family support locally. If I use all my annual leave covering sick days for dd, then I have to pay to put ds in to holiday club for more days. I can take unpaid parental leave booked in advance, but holiday club costs me less than a day's unpaid leave does.

It's really tough on the children doing long days at nursery when they are unwell and not fair to spread anything contagious to other children or staff.
But I do have sympathy for the Tesco employee who posted and anyone else whose job is put a risk if they need to take time off to care for an ill child. There needs to be better legislation around this.
Re covid -the rules now are you dont need to isolate and DC are very rarely ill with covid.
It's just a very stressful situation for working parents, especially when they don't have Grandparents or someone they can call on in emergencies.

@Littlebluedinosaur but the kids in your kids class, who your kid will infect when you send them in I, will be kids who's parents are doctors, surgeons, social workers, first responders, nurses, care workers...yeah it's hard for you to take a day off, but if some other people have to take a day off as a result of your actions it can literally be a case of life or death because of your actions

It would help if so many people hadn’t voted to leave the EU. The government is now legally allowed to tear up the workers rights that membership of the EU afforded us.

I took my eldest DD out of nursery (she went 2 afternoons a week to socialise) when she came home with Norovirus that she then passed to me. I was 30 weeks pregnant with a baby following a stillbirth, and spent 3 days on labour ward on a drip to stop contractions. I'd have loved to have met the parent that sent that poorly child in to nursery to pass on my personal thanks

People generally do not send very ill children in!

However:

• children can spread bugs before they are really symptomatic themselves
• something that manifests as little more than a barely noticeable mild runny nose in one child, can be a bit worse in another
• you cannot really tell when a child has very, very mild symptoms whether they are actually incubating something vs teething, bit tired etc.
• children can go from completely fine to running a fever, having a rash, vomiting etc in the space of a couple of hours.
• it is not remotely practical for working parents to keep a child home every time they have a vague suspicion there's a small possibility they might have a cold.

No it wouldn't. Working mums have always been shafted. Shock, horror even when we were in the EU!! I can't be fired for it but taking multiple days off I can be pushed into choosing to leave. You're naive at best!

If you can't take a day off when your kid is sick, don't have kids. Its YOUR responsibility to care for your children. You chose to have them.

No I don't know the solution to paying your bills and I don't care because it isn't my problem, it's not your childminders problem. Your selfish lack of forward planning does not give you the right to risk others health.

Don't have children you can't afford to look after.

A lot of people have no choice - they won’t get paid if they don’t go to work.

But you see, what has prompted me to start this thread is that every nursery that my 4 children have attended have, at some time had to send out messages telling people that it is unacceptable to send ill children to nursery and that they will be sent home. And also saying that having to work is not excuse.

You can’t tell me they would do that unless parents were knowingly dropping off children visibly unwell with fevers.

One nursery had put this on their information;

DO NOT BRING YOUR ILLNESSES AND BUGS INTO NURSERY

So it’s obviously a widespread problem.