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AIBU?

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Original poster

Smacking DD 5

237 replies

FluffyFluffMonster · 16/10/2022 11:43

My DD who is 5 has been hit today while I was in the shower. Her grandmother (not related) hit her leaving a red mark, GM said dd was wrapping curtains around herself and she was scared she would hang herself so hit her! GM is actually my eldest DD grandmother but is amazing with youngest and treats her like her own. DD has an amazing relationship with her, adores her. We are only a little family with not much support or involvement from other family. This isn't about me I would stop contact in an instant but because my dd adores GM I don't know what to do? I'm 100% against hitting! I told GM we don't hit in this house and she did say sorry and she was scared which is why she did it! I'm actually ill currently and not thinking clearly!

OP posts:
Avidreader69 · 17/10/2022 22:11

I've already said no.

Pumperthepumper · 17/10/2022 22:14

Avidreader69 · 17/10/2022 22:11

I've already said no.

Why not? How else will they become happy and useful members of society without that violence?

Colderthanever · 17/10/2022 22:17

Avidreader69 · 17/10/2022 22:09

i can’t believe some people would try to claim assaulting a child is acceptable I’m fairly sure if they were walking down the street and someone gave them a hard slap or their boss did as they were not doing the job right or their husband did as the dinner wasn’t to their liking they wouldn’t be claiming it as so acceptable

You are talking about adults. There is a vast gulf of difference between how you treat adults and how you treat toddlers. You don't 'ground' adults or take their phone away.

I am talking about bringing up children who are unsocialized and who need firmly correcting in order that they grow up to be happy and useful members of society - as my own children did.

For those of you who still have young children, wait until the race is over before judging the competitors.

Ah ok, so you don’t want to be assaulted as an adult. You just think it’s alright to go after a kid?

naughtu step or loosing phone privileges is very different to choosing violence. I don’t know why any of us are arguing with you and trying to make you see different, you feel violence in the home is ok.

We don’t.

Discovereads · 17/10/2022 22:22

I am talking about bringing up children who are unsocialized and who need firmly correcting in order that they grow up to be happy and useful members of society - as my own children did.

Using fear and violence to do this is lazy shit parenting. It’s easy & quick to just haul off and pop them one or threaten to slap them silly. But they don’t actually learn anything except to try and avoid being hit again.

It’s much harder to parent firmly without violence because then you have to actually sit with them and have difficult conversations and explain things at their level. So they learn. Really learn.

Kellie45 · 17/10/2022 22:30

Avidreader69 · 17/10/2022 21:56

A loving grandma giving one single smack is a tiny issue. It's daft to pretend otherwise.

Show quote history

Not to today’s pc brigade it’s not. Mind you, ignoring a child while it harms itself is probably OK.

HouseBook · 17/10/2022 22:37

Not to today’s pc brigade it’s not.

Are you seriously calling people who don't hit children pc 

Mind you, ignoring a child while it harms itself is probably OK.

Yeah, because it's definitely one or the other. Hurt them or watch them hurst themselves! Have a wee think about what you are saying here. Can you seriously not stretch your mind a little bit?

Discovereads · 17/10/2022 22:44

while it harms itself

Ugh. Not a way to refer to any human being. Clearly you think children are less than human.

Kellie45 · 18/10/2022 07:40

HouseBook · 17/10/2022 22:37

Not to today’s pc brigade it’s not.

Are you seriously calling people who don't hit children pc 

Mind you, ignoring a child while it harms itself is probably OK.

Yeah, because it's definitely one or the other. Hurt them or watch them hurst themselves! Have a wee think about what you are saying here. Can you seriously not stretch your mind a little bit?

No I am saying that people who use inflammatory language come into that category. Like people who say ‘grounding’ is ‘imprisonment’.

Discovereads · 18/10/2022 08:19

Kellie45 · 18/10/2022 07:40

No I am saying that people who use inflammatory language come into that category. Like people who say ‘grounding’ is ‘imprisonment’.

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You need to work on your communication skills as your two sentences made no objection to any terms used….so the idea you were trying to object to “inflammatory language” in your post didn’t come across at all.

HouseBook · 18/10/2022 08:30

@Kellie45

I know I do t always read things correctly but that's quite a stretch for anyone to take from what you said.

PMAmostofthetime · 18/10/2022 08:35

FluffyFluffMonster · 16/10/2022 12:12

Thank you everyone! I've taken on board the advice. @Avidreader69 I really don't think smacking anyone is helpful! There are other ways to discipline without resorting to anger and losing control. And surely smacking/hitting a child will lead to trauma as an adult?

Your right, there's a reason it's illegal in Scotland and Wales- research shows it doesn't work and it's just assault.

I would speak to her about it- advice you understand she was fearful but to never smack any of your children again.

Kellie45 · 18/10/2022 09:03

Discovereads · 18/10/2022 08:19

You need to work on your communication skills as your two sentences made no objection to any terms used….so the idea you were trying to object to “inflammatory language” in your post didn’t come across at all.

Show quote history

I think ‘pot’ and ‘kettle’ are two words I would recommend you study!

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