Husband drove child at 120mph

[WeevilKnievel]

Am I right to be upset? DS (10) came home last night all excited because daddy had driven him at 120mph on the (70) dual carriageway.
I'm furious, apart from risking our child's life and everyone else's. He's setting a stupid example for in a few years and DS learns to drive.
H thinks this is reasonable as he's a good driver ( better than anyone else of course) - his words

Probably one of the most ridiculous comments I've ever seen on this site.

I have. My ex knows if I smell alcohol on his breath or think he's hung over, ds does not get in a car with him. On the one occasion he argued, I suggested calling the police and having him breathalysed first. Oddly, he backed down. And I would do it. He would deserve to be banned if he was over.

Honestly OP, you need to make a stand of some sort .

I nearly died thanks to someone else's dangerous driving. Life changing injuries.

His behaviour would be unforgivable for me.

Even if he thinks he's a great driver, if anyone else was to suddenly appear who was a shit driver / an animal ran out in the road / your kid made him jump, he himself sneezed etc etc then it would likely mean a loss of control.

Selfish, stupid prick.

But you can't smell whether someone will speed or not.

So how do you enforce it? Never leave your kids alone with their dad? Sell the family car? Even if you break up, the kids will still be alone with their dad during his time with them.

I get what people are saying - that his behaviour is unacceptable but I'd genuinely like to know how people think they can ban another adult from driving a car while around their own child.

Just trying to provide some balance to other posters who have said they would call social services and they hope he got caught by a speed camera....these are the same people who drive their kids to school, totally oblivious to how distracted they are and having had insufficient sleep....come on ladies lets not go overboard

eh even if you have an accident through distraction or sleepiness the chances of fatality are much lower if you are going at the speed limit or an appropriate speed. Going at 120mph and having an accident will be almost certain fatalities.

You’re being a minimising idiot. The fact is that SPEED KILLS.

Driving in town whilst slightly distracted at 30mph is far less likely to kill some one compared to driving at over 100mph on a dual carriageway when the person in front driving within the limit, changes lanes.

You’ve clearly never been involved in an RTA and I hope you never do.

What an idiot he is.

we all know being a good driver doesn’t guarantee safety on the road.

a rock on the road, another driver doing something unexpected and you’re dead in half a second.

You might want to look at this: Magistrates' Court sentencing guidelines. This is where speeding cases are handled and is something I am involved with on a regular basis.
For over 101 mph, this is disqualification up to 56 days, with guidelines stating that where a driver is "grossly in excess of the speed limit", a longer disqualification can be imposed. I can tell you from my professional experience that this is very likely, even in circumstances where the road was clear and there was no accident. In addition there is a Band C fine, which is 150% of your weekly income. Carrying passengers (especially children) is an aggravating factor. No court is going to look leniently on this sort of behaviour.

@thelobsterquadrille , you can't really, but you can stress that it's not something you're willing to put up with. The OP could tell her DH that if she's ever in the car when he speeds, or if he's ever caught for speeding, that she'll divorce him. She might not be able to control his actions, but she doesn't need to condone them by remaining married to him.

Statistically 50% of drivers are of below average skill. Your idiotic husband is not a "good driver".

Good spot @CheshireCats give it an hour and it’ll be deleted.

Explain to your kid that his dad was breaking the law and could get in trouble with the police

Nobody said it was practical. But I wouldn’t give a damn who it was, my child would NOT be getting in a car with anyone who speeds.

I care about my child, and if someone were speeding with my child in the car, they don’t care about said child. If I were to allow them to take my child when I know they speed, I would be a neglectful mother.

Why haven’t you reported him each and every time?

Hmm is this is for real - remember Evil Kneivial the racer.

It was certainly rash but shitloads of people drive at 80-90 on the motorway every day. 120 is only a few seconds more on the pedal in a reasonably fast car.

Yes I would stop leaving my child with their dad if he was driving them at 120mph. I’d rather the inconvenience of that than the alternative of a lifetime of regret.

Correction…speed alone does not kill. The fastest modes of transport are the safest. Plane, train, motorways etc. Speed combined with lack of concentration, poor assessment of risk, human error or mechanical breakdown all can kill. Motorways are the fastest roads in the UK, and some of the safest. Not only in the UK, but the world. Far more children are injured in 20/30/40 limit areas where people who believe the mantra ‘speed kills’ think that just because they’re adhering to the speed limit they’re safe, while simultaneously chatting to friends via Bluetooth, keeping an eye on kids, glancing at WhatsApp messages and sipping a latte ;) The risk of an accident in those circumstance is far higher than a motorway accident, and the consequences can be almost as devastating. But people do it all the time.

None of which condones driving at 120mph in the UK of course, though I’m not sure it’s the crime of the century and I struggle to belief the short staffed police would do anything if you called them. In many parts of Germany that’d be fine at any time. Indeed, only last summer I drove on the autobahn for a couple of hours at a cruise controlled 200kph on my way back from Italy. I wasn’t the fastest car in the road. It was day time. The car was newish, the tyres fine. The speed didn’t kill me ;)

Evel Knievel

It was certainly rash but shitloads of people drive at 80-90 on the motorway every day. 120 is only a few seconds more on the pedal in a reasonably fast car.

What other people do is irrelevant and is a totally stupid defence, do we apply this to other crimes as well, and if you do the above you are a shit driver if you think it's only a few seconds more on the pedal.

How? Would you never go to work? Leave the house? Go and see friends?

I'm probably a better driver than you, unless you can also drive a 50 ton truck in the snow and ice.

Even in a Golf GTI you can get to 120 pretty fast. In things like Teslas and powerful BMW/Merc etc it's the blink of an eye.

From experience, most men think they’re better drivers than all the other idiots on the road.
120 though - I’d be livid.
Dh is a very good driver but years ago I did once actually shout at him in the car - he was going far too fast for the conditions - dark and very wet on a very busy motorway - and as I shouted out, we also had someone else’s child in the car so he wouldn’t just be killing his own family!

Thank goodness he’s never done anything so daft since - at least not when I’ve been with him.

I'm sorry to inform you that you are married to a stupid, selfish fool. I have a friend who's brothers family was hit by a driver doing 120 mph - mother and 2 children under 10 all killed. Father lost his leg. That is not fun or exciting.
As you say - terrible role model for your kids - having an idiot for a father is not a good start in life.

All the people saying variations on "no harm, no foul", that was the case THIS time. He got away with it, and it was a bit of a thrill. But what about the next time? And the next time? And the next time? Eventually THIS TIME will come around, but in a bad way. Best case scenario, he gets pulled over or flashed. Worst case doesn't bear thinking about. AND it's giving your DS the message it's okay. Teenage and early 20s lads are the most expensive group to insure for a reason.

Your husband's hubris > his intellect. From what you say about him, he's more likely to continue his driving behaviour just to spite you and reassure himself every time he emerges unscathed, that it is actually OK to drive his BMW that fast.

(Totally off topic here, but I want to know if he also wears skinny jeans)

You cannot be in the car with him and your son to police his driving, so you are going to have to educate your son about the grim reality of RTAs, their causes and effects. Your son is going to have to police his manchild father in order to be transported safely. Ten years old is a bit young for sensitive material, but needs must when the devil drives.

In the meantime, if your husband wishes to satisfy his (not-unreasonable) desire to seek adrenaline fuelled thrills and show off to his son, he should consider kayaking/carting/assault courses etc, where the risks are limited to participants and are controlled, instead of his lazy and selfish way of doing this on the motorway.