Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband drove child at 120mph

231 replies

WeevilKnievel · 16/10/2022 09:00

Am I right to be upset? DS (10) came home last night all excited because daddy had driven him at 120mph on the (70) dual carriageway.
I'm furious, apart from risking our child's life and everyone else's. He's setting a stupid example for in a few years and DS learns to drive.
H thinks this is reasonable as he's a good driver ( better than anyone else of course) - his words

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 16/10/2022 10:12

asdadult · 16/10/2022 10:05

You are being very passive.

Show quote history

Yeah - having read your other posts, it does sound like he’s your boss.

I think ringing your local station isn’t a bad idea, he needs to learn that you aren’t a kid he can ignore and that speeding with kids is twattish.

CarefreeMe · 16/10/2022 10:14

The fact is they’re not better. They’re deluded. And cocky. And driving on public roads at that speed is fucking horrendous.
Doing it with a kid in the car is appalling.

I am a fan of speed but in appropriate settings. A dual carriageway with a child on board is not the place. I’d tell him I’d be informing social services and the police if the stupid cunt did it again.

I agree!

It’s actually really embarrassing that he would do this just to try and impress a child too.

He obviously has serious issues if he thinks he can speed like that because he’s ‘better than everyone else’.

I think I’d laugh in his face if he said to me that he was better than everyone else.

FWIW when my friend was 19 he drove drunk. He didn’t go over the speed limit and drove as carefully as he could.

His mum phoned the police straight away who pulled him over and arrested him - she said she refuses to allow her son to grow up to be one of ‘those men’ and will not allow him to risk not only his life but everyones around him too.

BogRollBOGOF · 16/10/2022 10:16

The problem with idiotic fathers being given driving bans is that it dumps a lot of load on the mother of their children. Not a great incentive to shop him in because she's the one facing greater practical consequences for his stupidity.

Luredbyapomegranate · 16/10/2022 10:17

SarahR2022 · 16/10/2022 09:56

Just trying to provide some balance to other posters who have said they would call social services and they hope he got caught by a speed camera....these are the same people who drive their kids to school, totally oblivious to how distracted they are and having had insufficient sleep....come on ladies lets not go overboard....

@SarahR2022

That’s irrelevant though. Driving deliberately that fast with your kid in the back is insane.

Unless your username is cunning disguise for you being a 78 year old bloke, you should also know that the phrase ‘come on ladies..’ is likely to make people be a bit sick in their mouths.

Herejustforthisone · 16/10/2022 10:25

Christ almighty. He’s won in a few go-kart tournaments, probably on stag dos, and think that qualifies him to drive at over a ton with his kid in the car.

What a fucking goon. What car does he drive?

Original poster
WeevilKnievel · 16/10/2022 10:27

BMW - no surprise there I guess

OP posts:
Againstmachine · 16/10/2022 10:28

Your husband is not a good driver he is a shit one, he cannot follow rules so what other rules of road does he ignore, people who think they are great at driving are usually the worst.

I hope eventually he gets his license taken off of him as this is sort of idiot who can kill someone.

whynotwhatknot · 16/10/2022 10:29

everyone thinks they're a good driver its other things that can And do happen like something in the road or a blowout you have no control over. hes a dick doing it with his child in the car

Againstmachine · 16/10/2022 10:31

The problem with idiotic fathers being given driving bans is that it dumps a lot of load on the mother of their children. Not a great incentive to shop him in because she's the one facing greater practical consequences for his stupidity.

I don't really care if someone deserves a ban they should get it, nah let's keep letting him drive until he kills someone as we wouldn't want the mother to have to take kids somewhere.

If you choose to be with a idiot there are consequences.

Bestcatmum · 16/10/2022 10:34

If my ds father did this I'd report it to the police and he can suck on that.

MissCrowley · 16/10/2022 10:36

I know someone who used to speed constantly. He crashed and his son was brain damaged and now suffers badly with anger issues. The dad got a few years in prison. He was also driving under the influence though. Which I'm not saying your DH does, but speed ruins lives.

SeemsSoUnfair · 16/10/2022 10:39

WeevilKnievel · 16/10/2022 09:49

How is it practical to not let my children in the car with their father? He's their father, he can take them in the car when he likes, I can't physically or otherwise stop him. Even if we were divorced how would that work when it's his time with them?

If he can't see sense, your only option to protect your dc is to explain and show them the grim consequences of extreme speeding so hopefully if their dad wants to do it again they tell him they don't want to.

What your dh did is dangerous driving, it is just as bad as drink driving with them in the car. If he had an accident at that speed he would likely do jail time. Would you see that as "never going to grow up" too?

You make him aware of how strongly you feel about it. So strongly that you are not willing to be with a man who would willingly and actively put his childs life in immediate danger just for kicks.

Campervangirl · 16/10/2022 10:40

I'm inclined to agree with you, 120 with a child in the car is madness.
I once drove at 98 mph to try out my new car (looking back I don't know what I was thinking, stupid)🙄
It was so fast it nearly rattled my fillings out of my teeth, god knows what 120 feels like

cutthelawn · 16/10/2022 10:41

I hate this notion that just because you're a "better driver than everyone else" Hmm you get to break speed limits set by people who know what they're doing actually try and stop people from killing each other

exactly and op needs to point out to her dh that even if he is a good driver the road isn't his and that he must consider the bad drivers who randomly pull out in front of him. At 120mph he wouldn't be able to stop.

BogRollBOGOF · 16/10/2022 10:42

Againstmachine · 16/10/2022 10:31

The problem with idiotic fathers being given driving bans is that it dumps a lot of load on the mother of their children. Not a great incentive to shop him in because she's the one facing greater practical consequences for his stupidity.

I don't really care if someone deserves a ban they should get it, nah let's keep letting him drive until he kills someone as we wouldn't want the mother to have to take kids somewhere.

If you choose to be with a idiot there are consequences.

Unfortunately the consequences hit the wrong people harder.

Either way they continue to be idiotic

I'm not condoning him. It's so easy for something minor that could be averted at lower speeds to be a major problem at that speed.

The reality is that without clear evidence the police can't do anything about a retrospective allegation of excessive speed anyway. Unless he was actually dumb enough to record himself and create the evidence

There isn't an easy answer to dealing with someone of this mentality.

Createausernamehere · 16/10/2022 10:42

Ohwellwhateverthen · 16/10/2022 09:03

Eh, couldn't get worked up about this as a one-off. I still remember as a young teen driving home from somewhere with my dad at night, loooonnnng straight stretch of empty motorway, and my dad saying "how fast do you reckon we can go?" Car only made it to 102mph but it was the coolest thing we'd ever done together and one of my favourite memories of my dad. He's also always said he's likely the best driver on the road, and he's objectively right. I drive now and have never displayed any terrifying speeding tendencies.

It is not cool to break the law and risk the life of your child and other road users

my friend was killed by someone speeding many years ago. Their irresponsible decision also ruined many other lives in grief. Their defence was just that they knew they were a good driver and the road had seemed empty.

children will often find such behaviour exciting. It is our job as adults not to encourage that and certainly not to showboat it.

I honestly don’t think I could stay with DH if he ever did this.

Somethingsnappy · 16/10/2022 10:45

A great driver would know how easy it is to lose control of a car going 120mph. Someone who is willing to go at that speed, is categorically not a great driver.

redskyhaze · 16/10/2022 10:46

Ohwellwhateverthen · 16/10/2022 09:03

Eh, couldn't get worked up about this as a one-off. I still remember as a young teen driving home from somewhere with my dad at night, loooonnnng straight stretch of empty motorway, and my dad saying "how fast do you reckon we can go?" Car only made it to 102mph but it was the coolest thing we'd ever done together and one of my favourite memories of my dad. He's also always said he's likely the best driver on the road, and he's objectively right. I drive now and have never displayed any terrifying speeding tendencies.

Anyone who thinks they are 'the best driver on the road' and therefore feels entitled to drive faster/ more dangerously is an idiot.

He's not 'objectively' the best driver on the road (especially if he's speeding). You are biased because he's your dad and has reinforced this stupidity with you over years.

lovenaps · 16/10/2022 10:48

This is insane....

lovenaps · 16/10/2022 10:48

Somethingsnappy · 16/10/2022 10:45

A great driver would know how easy it is to lose control of a car going 120mph. Someone who is willing to go at that speed, is categorically not a great driver.

Could not have said it better.

Nanny0gg · 16/10/2022 10:49

WeevilKnievel · 16/10/2022 09:10

Unfortunately, he speeds regularly, ( generally not to this degree) but not a completely isolated incident and I'm sure was doing the whole let's see how fast we can go. But what a stupid stupid thing to do with an impressionable child. He's in his 50's fgs. Obviously never going to grow up and stop being so arrogant. Just not sure how to stop it happening again..

Report him

There are cameras

tranquiltortoise · 16/10/2022 10:49

However good your reflexes are, only idiots drive at 100mph+.

Something could happen even on a quite road - an animal could run out for example, causing you to swerve - at 100mph you are much more likely to kill everyone on board than at 70mph. Good drivers know this and act accordingly.

Anyone doing 100mph is not a good driver. They might have fast reflexes - that's not all it means to be a good driver.

Gemmanorthdevon · 16/10/2022 10:50

What a selfish twat.

Set him up if he a regular at it.., hide a dash cam and get him some points...that'll learn him.

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 16/10/2022 10:50

SarahR2022 · 16/10/2022 09:56

Just trying to provide some balance to other posters who have said they would call social services and they hope he got caught by a speed camera....these are the same people who drive their kids to school, totally oblivious to how distracted they are and having had insufficient sleep....come on ladies lets not go overboard....

You're talking bollocks

Hayliebells · 16/10/2022 10:51

I mean he just sounds like an absolute dickhead doesn't he. I know men who do things like this, and they're not just dickheads on the road, they're dickheads in multiple other ways too. And deeply deeply unattractive. I'm not sure how you stop it happening again, it's indicative of their character imo. And you're right, he's repeatedly putting other people's lives at risk by speeding, so you can absolutely call him on it, but it might not make any difference. Ultimately though, you can try and stop him from driving with DS in the car.