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Original poster

Husband drove child at 120mph

231 replies

WeevilKnievel · 16/10/2022 09:00

Am I right to be upset? DS (10) came home last night all excited because daddy had driven him at 120mph on the (70) dual carriageway.
I'm furious, apart from risking our child's life and everyone else's. He's setting a stupid example for in a few years and DS learns to drive.
H thinks this is reasonable as he's a good driver ( better than anyone else of course) - his words

OP posts:
Summerfun54321 · 16/10/2022 10:52

So he speeds regularly. What is he waiting for? To kill himself, to kill his passenger or to kill an innocent person going about their daily lives? Speeding kills. You sound very blasé about it all. You and your DH are either very thick or very selfish but most likely both if you can’t see the seriousness of this.

INeverSawAPurpleCow · 16/10/2022 10:52

Irresponsible idiot. I have been driven at that speed, in a country where it's perfectly legal, by a guy who wanted to show off/frighten me. I wasn't frightened but it was obvious you wouldn't stand a chance if something went wrong. I would be talking to the police about this and doing everything I could to ensure my child wasn't in that situation again.

Zilla1 · 16/10/2022 10:55

It seems every driver thinks they are a much better than average driver.

twicebittenthriceshy · 16/10/2022 10:57

Apart from the obvious dangers of driving so fast, I'd also be annoyed that your husband is teaching a child of that age that it's ok to break the law generally (and then laugh about it)!

redskyhaze · 16/10/2022 10:58

Someone I know used to do this with his kids. The 2 kids have turned out to be absolute boy racers and regularly put themselves in dangerous situations on the road, speed, and have terrible road rage - I believe they learned all this from their dad. Now mid-twenties, they've both been involved in several accidents. They also both have a slight vision problem which makes it even worse that their attitude to driving is so bad.

Their mum was powerless to do much about it because the dad bulldozed her and painted her out to be wet, over-worrying, ridiculous, which the kids then picked up on and teased her as well.

It's an extremely unhealthy dynamic all round - dangerous and disrespectful too. They all think it's a bit of fun.

I would recommend having a very serious discussion with your husband about it. If he can't genuinely see where you're coming from and agree that it's unsafe, then to be honest, you need to think about whether the relationship is working. This is your child he is putting at risk.

ExtraOnions · 16/10/2022 11:00

Let’s hope he gets caught, and banned, before he kills someone.
i live on a long straight stretch of road, and can easily bring 4 fatalities to mind, caused by speeding, and the speed rendering the drivers unable to react quickly enough.
I remember one where he flew off the road, through a metal fence, and died on the embankment leading down to the local supermarket - there was wreckage spread across the carpark. I remember thinking “dead, in a supermarket car park, because you wanted to drive at 80 on a 30 road “.
I have a friend who is a fireman.. he’s currently receiving psychological help, after attending a 100mph+ crash on a local road. This notion that you “die” in some sort of peaceful way, at that speed, just isn’t true. This driver was in pieces along the roadway.
Now OP, think if your child, and now try to tell me you are going to allow him to drive your child …

I hate this sort of road user

BanjoVio · 16/10/2022 11:03

Some of the most dangerous drivers are the ones who think they’re excellent drivers. Take a stand along the lines of, “If we go anywhere, I’m driving” and see how he likes sitting in the passenger seat for weeks.

Fromthedarkside · 16/10/2022 11:04

@YellowTreeHouse Why are you letting your child in the car with him if he speeds regularly then

That would be my question as well.

redskyhaze · 16/10/2022 11:04

Your husband probably won't agree that it's unsafe, because it's very hard to challenge that ridiculous attitude of 'I'm a better driver than anyone else so I'm entiteld to drive at X speed'.

Some drivers just seem to think they are in Go Karts, and by the time they realise their reactions are not as amazing as they thought, it's too late.

Darbs76 · 16/10/2022 11:04

No way my child would be getting in a car with him again

Frazzled2207 · 16/10/2022 11:05

twat.
i’d not want myself or my child in the car with him ever again but

  1. that could be very difficult to enforce and
  2. would surely mean more taxi duties for you which might suit him very nicely

the best you can hope for is that he gets caught speeding before he hurts anyone and gets banned. At least a temporary ban might get him to reconsider his idiotic actions

Frazzled2207 · 16/10/2022 11:06

And yes bragging to the dc and letting them think it’s an acceptable thing to do, is worse than the actual crime

Original poster
WeevilKnievel · 16/10/2022 11:06

His only response to me last night whilst I was hitting the roof over this was " you drive then" which is usually the response I get when I criticise his driving, I will drive the kids but it's such a massive cop out.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 16/10/2022 11:08

WeevilKnievel · 16/10/2022 09:10

Unfortunately, he speeds regularly, ( generally not to this degree) but not a completely isolated incident and I'm sure was doing the whole let's see how fast we can go. But what a stupid stupid thing to do with an impressionable child. He's in his 50's fgs. Obviously never going to grow up and stop being so arrogant. Just not sure how to stop it happening again..

Does he know the consequences if caught?

It won't be such a laugh if he ends up with a ban and/or fine of over £1000.

If he loses his licence how does he get to work?

Thats aside from the obvious issue about endangering himself and others.

He isn't a better driver than others if his risk assessment skills don't include risk of ban. He is arrogant and a liability.

limitedperiodonly · 16/10/2022 11:09

If he speeds regularly I'm surprised he hasn't been caught on camera before. Has he? Perhaps there was a speed camera on that 70mph limit dual carriageway. There usually is one and maybe a letter will be in the post and the ban will take care of things for a while. Or perhaps like others said your son mixed up 120kph with miles per hour on the speedometer

StopStartStop · 16/10/2022 11:10

Refuse unsupervised contact.
Inform the police.

cutthelawn · 16/10/2022 11:10

Eh, couldn't get worked up about this as a one-off. I still remember as a young teen driving home from somewhere with my dad at night, loooonnnng straight stretch of empty motorway, and my dad saying "how fast do you reckon we can go?" Car only made it to 102mph but it was the coolest thing we'd ever done together

tell that to my next door neighbour killed in a road crash aged 20 by a speeding driver.

lapasion · 16/10/2022 11:11

A neighbour of mine had a partner who drove his van like an absolute dickhead. He used to laugh about how he reached certain speeds and how he’d never got a ticket. One morning, he left work at 4am and drove down what he thought were empty country roads. Went round a corner at high speed and hit a lorry face on, which killed him instantly. Left behind a fiancée and four year old son all because of his need to show off and act like an idiot.

The problem is, you can never really speak to men like this. There are no magic words that snap them out of it. You’ll always be the nagging woman and he’ll be the cool dad. All you can really do is try and avoid having the DC in the car with him, no matter how difficult that might be.

MintJulia · 16/10/2022 11:12

Unless he was blue-lighting a medical emergency, he's a complete idiot. And even then I wouldn't be keen.

I left my ex because he drank and drove, and I wasn't prepared to risk ds going in the car with him. I think you need to have a very blunt conversation with your Dh. Personally I'd refuse to get in the car with him between now and Xmas, insist on you driving, or call a cab. Make him realise you regard him as completely stupid, irresponsible and unfit to be a father. Don't let him forget it for months.

What a prat!

LimpBiskit · 16/10/2022 11:12

Save this kind of behaviour for the track. His driving ability doesn't make up for other drivers and potential hazards.

Hayliebells · 16/10/2022 11:13

I don't understand why men like this remain in relationships. Doesn't everyone sane just bin them at the first sign of this sort of dickish behaviour? I can only understand it if their partners have a similar attitude to speeding. As you don't OP, isn't it a deal breaker?

jennakong · 16/10/2022 11:13

He's a good driver, better than anyone else is he? And I suppose he drives better stoned? And the speed limit is set by assholes for assholes? I've heard it all before OP. Your OH is not a good father. He's emotionally arrested in adolescence. Has he got driving convictions? (Bet if he does the police were victimising him.)

CarefreeMe · 16/10/2022 11:14

these are the same people who drive their kids to school, totally oblivious to how distracted they are and having had insufficient sleep....come on ladies lets not go overboard....

😂😂😂

FFS!

So the fact that he has a dick in his trousers means he doesn’t drive his kids to school, get distracted or have insufficient sleep??

So therefore he’s a safer driver going 120mph simply because he’s a man, than a women driving her kids to school in a 20mph zone??

What sort of 1800s attitude is that!

thelobsterquadrille · 16/10/2022 11:14

Darbs76 · 16/10/2022 11:04

No way my child would be getting in a car with him again

But how would you enforce this?

Never leave your kid alone with their dad again?

mam0918 · 16/10/2022 11:15

DelorisVC · 16/10/2022 09:04

I hate this notion that just because you're a "better driver than everyone else" Hmm you get to break speed limits set by people who know what they're doing actually try and stop people from killing each other.

Yep... as some who use to ride a motorbike it matters ziltch difference how 'safe' you are (I never take risks) it the unpridictible, ragey, road illiterate moron that hits you that matters and they are fucking everywhere.

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