AIBU?
Aibu to have said no to them coming?
Unknown455 · 15/10/2022 12:01
So we are a family of 4 and we have been struck down with this virus that's going round for over a week now ( it's not covid as we've all tested negative)
It's awful I've been in bed for the last 6 days, fever on and off, severe headaches, vomiting and nausea all 4 of us haven't eaten much let alone a proper meal in these last 6 days either . My husband and kids have been the same and we are on day 6 and it still doesn't seem to be getting any better.
So my husband just called me saying his sister called saying she wants to come to her house ( with her entire house hold and there is 6 of them in total, which if they came they would expect me to cook for them all and clean up after all of them too and they won't leave until about 11pm at night that's 10 people including all of us)
I got very upset and was crying bevause I already feel so bad and it doesn't help the kids are ill too and they are still young (7&5) and running after round my husband too. So I got upset and told him he needs to call her back and tell her she can't come 1) because we are all quite unwell and our kids have been awake half the night coughing and like radiators with fevers and 2) bevause I'm not 100% at all and I can't be running around cooking and cleaning up after 9 other people today as it's already alot looking after the 4 of us as it is.
My husband got angry withe me and already said I can't because I've told he'd we are fine, but I've told him she can't come today and he shouldn't have told his sister and the rest of the family they can come over.
He's been angry and shouting at me saying I'm disrespectful etc
Who is being unreasonable here?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Sindonym · 15/10/2022 12:03
I have the same thing and you are not being unreasonable.
Tell him you are going back to bed and he’ll have to deal with her.
MeowMeowPowerRangers · 15/10/2022 12:05
Tell him you're going back to bed so he'll have to do all the running around after his sisters family and your kids.
Invisableperson · 15/10/2022 12:06
If they come they'll get ill too and then they'll be upset with you.
So unreasonable
hesbeingabitofadick · 15/10/2022 12:06
Fuck him, and them.
Stay in bed and let him feed/entertain them and tidy up.
whatstheteamarie · 15/10/2022 12:07
Message her directly and say "thank you so much for offering to come over and look after the kids and cook for us all while I rest. As I'm sure DH told you I feel absolutely dreadful and there's no food in the house so you'll need to bring whatever you need.
It's a shame I won't see you as I'll be in bed attempting to recover and I don't want to pass on my germs, hopefully the kids won't give you what they have either."
Take yourself to bed and leave them to it.
Derbee · 15/10/2022 12:08
If they come, STAY IN BED. Let him deal with it all.
He’s a dick, but I don’t understand why women set their bar so low, and marry these idiots?
LickThis · 15/10/2022 12:08
How disrespectful to you. I'd tell him to go fuck himself but I'm guessing that's not on the cards
Go back to bed and I hope you feel better soon
isladeltesoro · 15/10/2022 12:09
whatstheteamarie · 15/10/2022 12:07
Message her directly and say "thank you so much for offering to come over and look after the kids and cook for us all while I rest. As I'm sure DH told you I feel absolutely dreadful and there's no food in the house so you'll need to bring whatever you need.
It's a shame I won't see you as I'll be in bed attempting to recover and I don't want to pass on my germs, hopefully the kids won't give you what they have either."
Take yourself to bed and leave them to it.
This is perfect. If your husband is going to be an idiot about this you need to take matters into your own hands.
OurChristmasMiracle · 15/10/2022 12:10
My response would have been “glad you are feeling so much better seeing as you are well enough to cook and clean up behind your family. I am still feeling awful so I will stay in bed and rest, feel free to bring me a cup of tea though!”
DaisyChainsForever · 15/10/2022 12:11
Why would she even want to come and risk her whole family catching it?
Can you message her yourself without going through ur husband ?
Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 15/10/2022 12:11
You won't have to cook so if they do come please do not cook or tidy up after them all. Tell him it's his fault if they come over and catch the illness and that you'll be in bed all day (with the children if they want to lay with you too) so it'll be up to him to entertain his sister and her family all day/evening, including making food for them. It is your home and he should respect you as it is totally reasonable not to want guests when you feel unwell and gave poorly children.
He is being an idiot.
dontputitthere · 15/10/2022 12:15
It just makes me sad you're even asking the question if you're unreasonable
How can you think you're not?
Your husband is a dick
I would do as pp have suggested. Tell his sister you're ill. Does she know already? Pretty weird if she does but hey ho. Make it abundantly clear you'll be in bed.
woodhill · 15/10/2022 12:15
Yanbu
Plus does she want to become ill herself
I would take to my bed if he insists she comes and refuse to interact with them
What an idiot he is
WaltzingWaters · 15/10/2022 12:15
Do NOT cook for them, clean up after them, or entertain them. Stay in bed and rest. Your DH sounds like a complete dick. Not sure why they even want to come over and risk catching what you all have.
Blowthemandown · 15/10/2022 12:15
@Unknown455 say to DH ‘you’re obviously feeling better but I’m going back to bed’ and do not feel you have to entertain/play the host.
EstellaRijnveld · 15/10/2022 12:18
I'd contact my sister in law and say that you are all ill and you wouldn't want to spoil her half term in case they catch it. I'd be pissed off if I turned up to your house and found you all ill. It is disrespectful on your dh's part not to mention the illness.
HangOnToYourself · 15/10/2022 12:22
Fuck him and as already mentioned here stay in bed. How can anyone be this uncaring and thick? Surely the sister doesnt want her whole family to get sick as well? I'd stay in bed and watch a film and let him be host. Order yourself a nice takeaway and enjoy a restful day
LifeIsGreatForUnicorns · 15/10/2022 12:25
whatstheteamarie · 15/10/2022 12:07
Message her directly and say "thank you so much for offering to come over and look after the kids and cook for us all while I rest. As I'm sure DH told you I feel absolutely dreadful and there's no food in the house so you'll need to bring whatever you need.
It's a shame I won't see you as I'll be in bed attempting to recover and I don't want to pass on my germs, hopefully the kids won't give you what they have either."
Take yourself to bed and leave them to it.
This!!!
StClare101 · 15/10/2022 12:25
DO NOT get out of bed.
Why do you do so much for him and them even when you are well? Time to grow a backbone and assert some boundaries.
Guavafish1 · 15/10/2022 12:25
I'd just stay in bed and lock your bedroom door.
Let him deal with his family and kids. He will be fine!
Dragonskin · 15/10/2022 12:26
Your husband in an inconsiderate knob. And if he won't tell them they can't come, then well done to him for volunteering to do all the work while you stay in bed sick.
Disrespectful my arse, why do shit men always cry 'disrespect' when you won't do what they say without question?
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