Aibu to have said no to them coming?

[Unknown455]

So we are a family of 4 and we have been struck down with this virus that's going round for over a week now ( it's not covid as we've all tested negative)
It's awful I've been in bed for the last 6 days, fever on and off, severe headaches, vomiting and nausea all 4 of us haven't eaten much let alone a proper meal in these last 6 days either . My husband and kids have been the same and we are on day 6 and it still doesn't seem to be getting any better.

So my husband just called me saying his sister called saying she wants to come to her house ( with her entire house hold and there is 6 of them in total, which if they came they would expect me to cook for them all and clean up after all of them too and they won't leave until about 11pm at night that's 10 people including all of us)
I got very upset and was crying bevause I already feel so bad and it doesn't help the kids are ill too and they are still young (7&5) and running after round my husband too. So I got upset and told him he needs to call her back and tell her she can't come 1) because we are all quite unwell and our kids have been awake half the night coughing and like radiators with fevers and 2) bevause I'm not 100% at all and I can't be running around cooking and cleaning up after 9 other people today as it's already alot looking after the 4 of us as it is.
My husband got angry withe me and already said I can't because I've told he'd we are fine, but I've told him she can't come today and he shouldn't have told his sister and the rest of the family they can come over.
He's been angry and shouting at me saying I'm disrespectful etc
Who is being unreasonable here?

@Rubiconmango that’s a very racist, post. Reported.

Why wouldn't the sister help, don't understand this behaviour

Disrespectful to not see people when you are ill?

What bollocking shite is that?

Tbf to his sister though if she thought that you were no longer ill & it was OK to visit that isn't your fault.

If you are all ill why are you doing everything?

Why would you do everything if they all came over?

It's the 21st Century-how does being from anyway excuse being a shit husband & father?

Did you know it would be like this before you married him?

This

How dare he say you’re ‘disrespectful’

Are you testing negative on a RATs test? I wouldn't at all rely on that unless you are testing at the back of throat and inside cheeks along with nasal. Sounds like you all have covid.

As for your husband's behaviour, just wow! You are the mother of your household and it's up to if anyone comes over unless your husband of course is doing all the work.

Reported for racism. You cannot say that someone's completely selfish moronic disease spreading misogynistic behaviour is down to their nationality.

OH MY GOD! How ignorant and 'woke' are some people on this thread?! YES SHE CAN SAY THAT BECAUSE HIS BEHAVIOUR IS TYPICAL OF A TYPE OF MAN IN HIS CULTURE! Just like my balck and white friends say shit that's typical of their culture be it negative or positive! Jesus! Flipping reporting comments because you're woke mentality is too dense to UNDERSTAND CULTURES that people have EXPERIENCED?! She's talking about her husband! So my guess is she knows a thing or two about how they define Pakistani, more than you clearly know.

The OP is explaining cultural expectations which are in part due to the background of her husband and his family. Not sure how it's racist.

@Rubiconmango has been very racist and has rightfully been deleted.

I wonder what your culture is. You're ignorance and snow flaky fragile comments are very telling. I won't say, because I'd be deemed 'racist' and who wants to get into that distraction in 2022!

when people can't handle real talk pull out new age 'woke' card

Black and white aren’t cultures. They are racial classifications.

Pmsl. OK. Next you're gonna pull put flower garlands and tell us we all need to hold hands singing kumbaya and be 'kind' to one another. Clearly you're from the galaxy where people are too fragile for real life.

Lol yes. Very true. I stand corrected. But you knew what I meant *smirks

You might feel more comfortable in the Daily Mail comments section.

Why? What's there? Care to enlighten me, since you're comfortable there? *eyeroll

I think the race/culture thing is a red herring.
This is to do with the OPs boundaries, misogyny and the fear of saying no.

OP, you're 'disrespectful' because he's going to be embarrassed at having to say no to his sister. How very dare you! :)

I'd just message her saying DH said you were coming over, I told him he's mental haha, you wouldn't want to catch this bug we've all got, I haven't stopped throwing up all week.

Selfish men. Who are usually abusive too. They don't get told No because if someone does, that person gets either verbally, mentally or physically (or all 3) slapped down. The punishment means they "decide" (are forced into "choosing") to always say yes.

Look at the OP, crying at the thought of the consequences of standing up for herself, before she'd even done it. If she wasn't so desperately ill she wouldn't have stood up for herself, she'd have done as she was told, to avoid being on the receiving end of the abuse.

It's nothing to do with him being Pakistani. It's to do with him being a selfish abusive shit

If your husband says he's fine then you don't need to run around after him. I don't really understand why an ill person needs to do all the housework.

Which can absolutely be linked to culture sometimes.

That’s how it works for you and your husband, not all pakistani families are like this. My DH would never ever suggest this and he is pakistani, he always pulls his weight and does his fair share of the cooking hosting as well when people do come. Neither would his family expect to come round when we are ill.

Seriously when you are well again, speak to your DH about this, it’s not on, and it doesn’t have to be this way.

That's not how it works in all pakistani families. It certainly doesn't in mine but then I wouldn't be running after my dh whilst ill and nor would he expect me to. You've got a dh problem and need to address that.