"All men cheat, you just never find out about it"

[Maryfast]

I'm part of a mixed friendship group who have been friends since school. We went on a night out Saturday night and my partner works away (we've been together 4 years and bought a house last year). He tends to work away for 3 weeks and then be home for 2 weeks.

Anyway, friends were asking how he was and conversation soon turned to how some would never do a relationship that entails being far apart from each other for certain amounts of time. Then conversation turned to trust and I was saying how I can never imagine he'd cheat on me and how lovely he is.

That"s when one my male friends made the comment on the thread title, followed by how all the males he know outside our friendship group have cheated but all the friends never say anything.

I don't believe this to be true at all and I've never imagined my partner cheating. Does anyone else believe in the view that "men have an innate ability to cheat?"

I think it's nonsense

All women have the innate ability to cheat too.

In answer to the thread title question, the answer is no.

He's full of shit

I know some male groups who would act this way and cover for each other. I wouldn't date a one of them. I also don't think it's true for every man. I think it says a lot about your friends attitude and who he socialises with that he thinks that's normal. Also it's quite a toxic and unsupportive thing to say in front of you when discussing your long distance relationship. I'd have lost a lot of respect for him after that and I wouldn't take his comments on yourself.

rubbish

It's nonsense

Birds of a feather flock together

Thats why his circle of male friends and acquaintances are the same. It doesn’t however mean all men cheat.

Probably not all but I think many more men cheat than you’d realise. Particularly things like a drunken snog on a night out or an emotional connection with someone else, online stuff, sex worker stuff, all fairly easy to cover up especially if it’s infrequent.

Plus if a woman stays with a cheating partner she’s less likely to tell other people so you won’t hear about it. I have a few friends who have confided in me about their husbands cheating and didn’t tell anyone else. All men you would never think would cheat, but they did.

For a man to cheat he has to have a willing woman! Unless they are paying for it, I doubt most men cheat as by the time they become bored with the relationship, they are well past their best ! Its hard enough to pull on Tinder let alone when in a hotel away from home. I work away a lot and have never come across this with groups of workmen. What I do see is that they drink a lot. Work, then drink, then sleep. Rinse and repeat. For those that way inclined and decent enough looking to attract someone, they will always find a way.

I think anyone has the propensity to cheat. Given motive, means and opportunity.

Doesn't mean everyone does.

Studies of cheating in humans and the animal kingdom don't show males in species with limited sexual dimorphism cheating much more than females. Particularly when the female's ovulating it's as common.

Your friend is a dick.

No. Of course not all of them do. Stupid comment.

No I don’t I think everyone, male or female has had the opportunity to at some point but whether or not they take it is a different story. I think, from my experience men aren’t as savvy at spotting when someone is firing into them and by then find themselves in a little deeper than intended. That’s my opinion on it 🤷🏻‍♀️

DH has 2 circles of friends. One circle are utter cheats. The other group would never do it.
That said, the group that cheat are stereotypical good looking and the others aren't, so maybe it is a case of opportunity.

He is just trying to justify his cheating.

He's a dick. And wrong.

According to Yougov research (easily Googlable) about 20% of men and women have cheated at some point in their lives.

Men are slightly more likely to cheat than women by about 2%.

Meaning 80% of people never cheat at all, making it much less common than people think.

I think he is telling the truth, but for most of them (them cheaters) it means nothing, so unless they have real feelings for the other woman, you will never find out.

Not all men cheat but a lot of them do.
Just like a lot of women do.

I'm reassured by the fact that DH took a run up and his friend pointing it out to notice I was flirting. I practically dislocated my neck flicking my hair around but he was oblivious. Bless him.

I'd tend to agree with him through my own experience witnessing years of lads on rugby tours, men on work nights away , men on general work nights out even.

Nope. They may all have the desire, but they certainly don't have the ability. Most of them are lucky to have attracted the woman they're with, never mind another one to cheat with. Particularly the deluded charmers like your friend.

Not true. I trusted my ex partner 100% with not cheating, it’s just not in his nature, he’s very loyal and doesn’t drink to excess either so wouldn’t be in that kind of situation. I guess many men cheat, quite a lot of women do too, but not ALL. Blanket statements are stupid

Me and my oh have a group of friends(his friends and their wives/girlfriends) 2 of them have cheated mutiple times on their girlfriends and they have never found out. Don't think either of them cheat anymore now they are in their late 30s. Any man or woman is capable of cheating though, but not all do. Unfair of him to plant that fear in your head though.

My experience of such events is: men drinking too much, talking shite, getting up to nothing, but regardless of that the gossip goes round.

Right now there is gossip at my place of work about two colleagues having an affair. Both of them deny it, it's all based on perception, and I believe them. But it's this sort of crap that gets people thinking that affairs are rife.

Either: all men and women cheat equally; or, if some men cheat a lot, then more women than men cheat? Or have I got my sums wrong? (And I accept that use of sex workers may unbalance the numbers).