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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old and 10 month old alone for a week?

454 replies

PrueHalliwell · 12/10/2022 18:51

Well not alone obviously but with their grandma?

I'm 30 this month but on my birthday I'll be 38 weeks pregnant so that rules out anything exciting happening (unless I give birth! That'd be lovely)

So my husband has suggested we go for a week away next year to universal Florida as we both love it there ( we are big kids) but we don't think it'll be appropriate for a 2 year old and a 10 month old just yet plus would be nice to actually spend some time as a couple and I was really excited about it but now the mum guilt has started to creep in and I've started to feel really bad about leaving them.

My MIL has a good bond with my DS and DD isn't born yet but I'm sure they'll be okay - she's happy to look after them and they will be staying at our house with her and I'll know they'll be safe and have a good week but is it really selfish?

I just wanted to see what others thought before booking the holiday.

Thank you

OP posts:
StillNotWarm · 12/10/2022 18:55

It's a decision you really need to make , and it needs to be the one that is right for your family. Some people will say no way, some will say get booking.

Musicalmistress · 12/10/2022 18:58

AMA is probably not the best section for your post. Maybe ask for it to be moved to Parenting, Chat or AIBU for more traffic?

Stonebridge · 12/10/2022 19:08

I think it might be a recipe for wobbles from your kids as it'll be 2 big disruptions together-both parents away for a week followed by a new baby.

Original poster
PrueHalliwell · 12/10/2022 19:10

Musicalmistress · 12/10/2022 18:58

AMA is probably not the best section for your post. Maybe ask for it to be moved to Parenting, Chat or AIBU for more traffic?

I've just realised I've got pressed the wrong one, I mean Aibu. I'll report it now Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
PrueHalliwell · 12/10/2022 19:11

Stonebridge · 12/10/2022 19:08

I think it might be a recipe for wobbles from your kids as it'll be 2 big disruptions together-both parents away for a week followed by a new baby.

No sorry, the new baby is being born within a couple of weeks - they'll be the 10 month old if we go. I should have explained that better sorry

OP posts:
satelliteheart · 12/10/2022 19:13

@Stonebridge you've not read the op correctly. Op is talking about going away next year when the baby she is currently pregnant with will be 10 months. Not going away now with a new baby due any minute

babysharksb1tch · 12/10/2022 19:14

I have a three year old and 11 month old. If someone offered to look after my kids so I could go away for a week you wouldn't see me for dust.

Summerof22 · 12/10/2022 19:16

I would be happy to do it but might stay in Europe in case something happens, I would be able to return faster.

Xmasbaby11 · 12/10/2022 19:17

It's a very long way to go without your young dc. You might not want to. Why not wait a few years and take them? Go somewhere more local- weekend in UK or Europe?

I know some people might be ok with it but I wouldn't, not for a week and not that distance.

Harridan1981 · 12/10/2022 19:18

I wouldn't, but I'm not you. My kids would have missed me horribly at 2, and vice versa. And 10 months old is very tiny.

Why not a weekend away?

Northernsoullover · 12/10/2022 19:18

I was always happy to leave my children but it's a lot for a (presumably) senior family member to do alone. Will they have support? What if MIL is taken ill?

I8toys · 12/10/2022 19:19

I'd do Europe or somewhere nearby. Go to US when the kids are all old enough.

Heavenknows22 · 12/10/2022 19:20

I think it’s too far, too long and the children are too young.

Cherrysherbet · 12/10/2022 19:20

It’s not something I would have personally done because spending that amount of money would have always impacted what we could do as a family together. We waited for trips like that so the children could join in.

I wouldn’t have left young children like that for a week either. Sorry.

OnlyHams · 12/10/2022 19:20

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Original poster
PrueHalliwell · 12/10/2022 19:20

Northernsoullover · 12/10/2022 19:18

I was always happy to leave my children but it's a lot for a (presumably) senior family member to do alone. Will they have support? What if MIL is taken ill?

She's 60 and in good health so I think she would be okay plus her husband whose in his early 60s would be here with her too - my mum lives ten minutes away if there's any problems and they'll be going to childminders three times a week so hopefully it wouldn't be too full on for her but it's something to consider, thank you I hadn't thought of it.

OP posts:
Revolvingwhore · 12/10/2022 19:20

Will the kids be getting a holiday too?

A580Hojas · 12/10/2022 19:21

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Sleepyquest · 12/10/2022 19:21

Before both of my babies were born I thought I could easily leave them for a week and not mind. But now they are here, I realise i couldn't. So see how you feel when baby has been born.

I also didn't manage to do anything for my 30th due to babies and lockdown and it was a shame but I got over it.

Hugasauras · 12/10/2022 19:21

I wouldn't but that's irrelevant really? Only you know how you would feel and if you could happily leave them at that age.

Oysterbabe · 12/10/2022 19:21

I wouldn't and wouldn't want to. I'm not you though. Do what works for you.

Thegreenballoon · 12/10/2022 19:21

Both of my children would have really really struggled with that at those ages - as in been completely and utterly distraught (we tried smaller separations and it just wasn’t worth it). Even with Daddy they’d have been pretty upset, without either parent for more than a day or two they’d not cope, despite being close to their grandparents. Some other people’s kids would have been completely fine. It’s going to hugely depend on your children. And you - personally I wouldn’t want to be the other side of the Atlantic to my children, especially if DH was with me not them and I’d never enjoy such a trip. Plenty of people wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

If you’re worried could you start with a weekend and see how it goes and maybe do the week abroad thing another time?

RewildingAmbridge · 12/10/2022 19:22

If I was going away without DC, I'd want somewhere as childfree as possible! If I was going to a theme park, especially such an expensive holiday I'd wait until he was older and take him

Rumplestrumpet · 12/10/2022 19:23

Hmmm. I was still breastfeeding a lot at 10months so that wouldn't have worked for me, but in any case I really don't think I could personally, not that young.

I went away for a work trip for a week when my daughter was just turned 3, and I was fine but she did miss me a lot and talked about it for aaaaaaaages afterwards, liking on the guilt.

I think others are right - it's a long time and you'd be far away - why not stick to a few days in UK or Europe and then consider Florida next time?

Original poster
PrueHalliwell · 12/10/2022 19:23

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I didn't think people on the internet was stupid enough to think someone would leave a 2 year old and 10 month old actually alone for a week and surely if they were they wouldn't be asking about it - I thought the title would be too long otherwise.

OP posts:
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