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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old and 10 month old alone for a week?

454 replies

PrueHalliwell · 12/10/2022 18:51

Well not alone obviously but with their grandma?

I'm 30 this month but on my birthday I'll be 38 weeks pregnant so that rules out anything exciting happening (unless I give birth! That'd be lovely)

So my husband has suggested we go for a week away next year to universal Florida as we both love it there ( we are big kids) but we don't think it'll be appropriate for a 2 year old and a 10 month old just yet plus would be nice to actually spend some time as a couple and I was really excited about it but now the mum guilt has started to creep in and I've started to feel really bad about leaving them.

My MIL has a good bond with my DS and DD isn't born yet but I'm sure they'll be okay - she's happy to look after them and they will be staying at our house with her and I'll know they'll be safe and have a good week but is it really selfish?

I just wanted to see what others thought before booking the holiday.

Thank you

OP posts:
theonlygirl · 12/10/2022 19:23

Definitely go away but maybe a long weekend somewhere closer might be better. A week is a long time for a granny to look after a 2 year old and a toddler, even with help. She'll be exhausted, even if she's fit and active

Thesearmsofmine · 12/10/2022 19:24

I wouldn’t do it but I’m not you. My worry would be that you have no idea what kind of baby the 10 month old will be, some are happy and chilled, others are very clingy.

Arenanewbie · 12/10/2022 19:25

I wouldn’t, if I were you I would book an weekend away in UK and divide children between grandparents.
My main concern is that MIL can’t really guarantee anything at this stage.

Original poster
PrueHalliwell · 12/10/2022 19:26

Revolvingwhore · 12/10/2022 19:20

Will the kids be getting a holiday too?

They will but not at the same time, we'll be going the following summer when the little ones not on formula anymore but the bigger one has had a holiday this year as well.

My MIL will be doing things with them that week if we do go, maybe not as far as America now I've read some posts.

OP posts:
Doowop1919 · 12/10/2022 19:27

Each to their own really. I couldn't do it. My 2 year old wouldn't be ok with it so I'd wait until he was older.

OnlyHams · 12/10/2022 19:27

theonlygirl · 12/10/2022 19:23

Definitely go away but maybe a long weekend somewhere closer might be better. A week is a long time for a granny to look after a 2 year old and a toddler, even with help. She'll be exhausted, even if she's fit and active

Most 60 year olds can cope just fine with children, odd you think it would be that exhausting

layIa · 12/10/2022 19:27

No way would I leave a 10 months old for a week, and be so far away from them. I don't think that would be very nice for the baby 😟

YenneferOfVengabus · 12/10/2022 19:29

Mine are 3 and 1 and I absolutely wouldn't go as far as America without them: if one of them took ill, I'd want to be there quickly. Maybe Disneyland Paris, if you like that sort of thing? Short and frequent flights back to the UK

RockAndRollerskate · 12/10/2022 19:29

Mine are exactly that age now.

I’m not against leaving them for a few nights but wouldn’t leave them with anyone for the fact that my DM is my only childcare and she’s on her own - they’re really well behaved (for their ages), but hard work on your own

RockAndRollerskate · 12/10/2022 19:30

But I meant to add - I wouldn’t go that far away even if I could, little one is prone to illness and I’d hate for anything to happen and I can’t be here

AdriannaP · 12/10/2022 19:32

Up to you of course but I couldn’t do it. Too far away in case something happens to the kids or MIL. I was with my grandparent when something serious happened amd my DM was on holidays in a different country. It’s a trauma I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

your baby isn’t even born, don’t you have other concerns for now than already planning a break from her?

Monday1Morning · 12/10/2022 19:32

Oh this makes me sad that you’d actually want to do that :( I couldn’t leave my children (same ages) especially to go somewhere full of children that I know would just make me think of my children at home and how much they would enjoy it… all because I’m 30 :(

RewildingAmbridge · 12/10/2022 19:32

Aside from my comments above around location, this is such a personal thing, I couldn't have left DS at ten months, DB and SIL went away when DN was about 3/4 months. DS is almost 4 and we are going away abroad for a 3 day weekend in February which will be the first time, he has stayed overnight up to 3 nights a couple of times with grandparents because they had things they wanted to do with him and we were working, so feel more comfortable that he'll be fine. This isn't your first child so you know better than anyone else how you'll feel.

SunshineClouds1 · 12/10/2022 19:33

Do what's right for you.

Personally I couldn't do it, my son would have missed us terribly even at 2.
America is probs too far tbf

AdriannaP · 12/10/2022 19:33

Is your MIL even happy with this arrangement? My DM is young too but can’t cope with my niece and nephew (similar ages as your kids will be) for longer than a day.

layIa · 12/10/2022 19:33

Also, don't underestimate how tough going it is to look after two children at once! It can be absolute mayhem - I couldn't make my mum / Mil go through that all on their own for a whole week. Even a few hours would be testing for them

missbipolar · 12/10/2022 19:34

I didn't do a week but I did do 4 days- I would absolutely do it

name985 · 12/10/2022 19:34

@Monday1Morning Jesus Christ save your faux sadness. Can't believe someone is sad over someone else's (at the moment) hypothetical decision on the internet.

Eeiliethya · 12/10/2022 19:35

babysharksb1tch · 12/10/2022 19:14

I have a three year old and 11 month old. If someone offered to look after my kids so I could go away for a week you wouldn't see me for dust.

Same!

Go for it and have fun. They'll be fine.

5zeds · 12/10/2022 19:35

No I wouldn’t stop breastfeeding that early anyway from choice and I would have hated it anyway. Your relationship is different though and I think you need to be strongly yourself not try to be everyone else.

Original poster
PrueHalliwell · 12/10/2022 19:36

AdriannaP · 12/10/2022 19:32

Up to you of course but I couldn’t do it. Too far away in case something happens to the kids or MIL. I was with my grandparent when something serious happened amd my DM was on holidays in a different country. It’s a trauma I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

your baby isn’t even born, don’t you have other concerns for now than already planning a break from her?

No I'm obviously a terrible mother.

Obviously this was all depending on a lot of things and I asked as I knew they'd be things I would want to consider.

OP posts:
FatEaredFuck · 12/10/2022 19:36

I wouldnt book far in advance, children those ages are a total handful. You might change your mind on whether your Mum could handle it or whether a trip to Florida would be something you were able to enjoy.

I was dead on my feet with 2 that age and my mum couldnt have had them for more than a night at a push.

pancakes222 · 12/10/2022 19:37

I left 2 year old for 4 days for our 30th and she was fine. She was quite advanced for her age and I had made a little book about mummy and daddy going away but she could FaceTime etc if she wanted to see us. I wouldn't have done it any earlier though to be honest and definitely not any longer. I did sob my heart out leaving her!! However.... we had the best time and I wouldn't change it at all for those memories celebrating with DH. now she's 7 she doesn't even remember being left

sheepdogdelight · 12/10/2022 19:39

10 months old is a tough age for separation anxiety.

How old/fit if your MIL? Big difference between looking after a young toddler occasionally (I'm guessing) and looking after a 2 year old and a baby for a week. She may well find it exhausting.

BattenburgDonkey · 12/10/2022 19:39

I don’t think you would be unreasonable or selfish really, but it’s not something I would do. Especially planning it now when you don’t even no your youngest yet, you have no clue if they will be a clingy baby who’s absolutely distraught at being left or wether they sleep well or have allergies etc. I’d consider a weekend away or a UK holiday or something that you can change easily or get back from easily if needed, but Florida for a week would be too much for me personally. It really just depends on you.