Huge row with DH! Help me!!

[DM1720]

Just had a big row with DH over cleaning the kitchen. I usually cook dinner, he cleans up after while I put our kids to bed. It’s a system that works well for us!
This evening I came downstairs and found him sweeping the kitchen surfaces with our dustpan and brush! 🤢 I asked him not to do this before so when I saw him doing it again this evening I got angry and asked why he couldn’t do it the normal way I.e use a cloth to sweep crumbs into hand or even on to floor and sweep after (which he’d be doing anyway!). He couldn’t see where I was coming from at all, and cannot understand what is wrong with his way. I think it’s disgusting even though he plans to wipe down the surfaces after with the kitchen cloth! He said he’s not cleaning up anymore if he’s not left to do it his way etc etc 🙄
AIBU?
Please help me to explain to him how gross this is? He won’t listen. We’re not actually speaking over this!!

I'm in the " yes it's gross" camp as well. Also I can't cope when food shopping bags are moved from the floor up onto a kitchen surface. One other thing I don't like is when on Ebay you see people selling shoes have taken photos of the shoes sat on kitchen counters. I can't bear it. Why not just fling some dog poo over the kitchen counter? Sorry, I'll stop ranting now.

Back to the question. I guess you have to swap jobs with your partner if he won't change his ways. Hope you can resolve it without any more bad feelings.

so basically all he has to do is clean up after and he cant even do that

maybe you should swap jobs

I couldn't get worked up about this and would rather that than he did nothing to help out.
But easily solved just get another dustpan and brush and label it do not use on floor.

Because in general its not dirty after one use!

We had a family friend who would almost never eat at someone else's house. I thought that was really extreme. Now I get it.

Even with antibac, I would just cringe.

Agree about bags on worktops - and when friends come in and put their handbag on your worktop

I have a Shark hoover and use an attachment I've designated for the kitchen side crumbs. Works a treat.

Buy him a Shark for Xmas .

I'm not a clean freak but I wouldn't be happy about using a floor brush on the kitchen side where we prepare food. Like all the bits of hair and dust 🤢.

Then you wipe it with a cloth and now it's on the cloth. And if he doesn't get the "cupped hand" motion right with the cloth, he's just rubbing it in with the disinfectant.

If I didn't know he was doing it then I obviously wouldn't care and wouldn't die but the knowing would haunt me.

I couldn't get too worked up, it's dry so unlikely to harbour germs like a damp brush. I expect he spritzes it with a kitchen cleaner after brushing it down.

Maybe he should do the cooking and bathtime and you do the kitchen clean up.

Does he do any other chores?

I wonder if this is weaponized incompetence so you'll just do it yourself.

MN is so weird sometimes.

Don't wash towels after every use or wear tights 2 days on the bounce?
BAD AND GRIM

Use a manky floor brush and dust collecting receptacle on the area where food is prepared?
FINE.

It isn't something I would do, although I have been known to use the vacuum cleaner nozzle to get all of the crumbs left behind by the toaster.

Not a hill to die on though. If he were to spray and wipe with antibacterial spray afterwards then it should be OK as long as he then leaves the cloth in a bleach or disinfectant solution.

If you bought him a second dustpan and brush just for the tops then he's being a bit of a prick in my opinion.

Our floor dustpan and brush is minging and I wiukdnt want it used for counters. Sounds like one of those rows that just blows up when both parties are tired.

Hope you can resolve it. Its exactly the kind of row my DH and I have:

I make a pperfectly reasonable comment about his , possibly for the 6th time...am.slightly narky about it though because its the 6th time..butnhe gets defensive and starts being a tosser.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

@missmamiecuddleduck

If my oh deliberately made a mess and left me to clear it up, I'd be damn well telling them to clean it up themselves

It's not something I could get worked up over to be honest.

You reuse the cloth that's been used to wipe up (clearly quite dirty) surfaces the next day?! How is that better than what he's doing?!

So grim, and everyone saying it's fine cos he'll wipe down after, no, just no, still grim! fgs have some hygiene standards!

Sympathies OP as this sounds like something my (dirty) DH would do 🙄

I was thinking exactly this

I wouldn’t do it and find it weird so in that sense YANBU but also if he leaves the kitchen clean at the end of his ‘process’ I think it’s probably micromanaging to dictate how he does it even though it is mightily odd.

Exactly! It's like an alternate universe...when it feels like it! 😅

Get along handled dustpan and brush for floors it's really difficult to use on surfaces then.

How does he feel about you using his toothbrush to clean the bath?

He's a muppet.

Wash towels after every use?

yeah, nope - I'd rather he did nothing than swipe the worktop with a floor brush, fgs how gross!

Buy him a dustpan and brush in a different colour, and small enough to be kept separate from, the floor one. A child’s would work well.

Using the floor brush on a counter is disgusting. If a restaurant did that they’d be shut down or whoever had done it in a restaurant would be sacked.

Dies he ever wash the floor
too?