Huge row with DH! Help me!!

[DM1720]

Just had a big row with DH over cleaning the kitchen. I usually cook dinner, he cleans up after while I put our kids to bed. It’s a system that works well for us!
This evening I came downstairs and found him sweeping the kitchen surfaces with our dustpan and brush! 🤢 I asked him not to do this before so when I saw him doing it again this evening I got angry and asked why he couldn’t do it the normal way I.e use a cloth to sweep crumbs into hand or even on to floor and sweep after (which he’d be doing anyway!). He couldn’t see where I was coming from at all, and cannot understand what is wrong with his way. I think it’s disgusting even though he plans to wipe down the surfaces after with the kitchen cloth! He said he’s not cleaning up anymore if he’s not left to do it his way etc etc 🙄
AIBU?
Please help me to explain to him how gross this is? He won’t listen. We’re not actually speaking over this!!

For this alone you are being unreasonable!!

I wouldn’t mind but then I wouldn’t put things straight onto worktop unless they are in a packet so wouldn’t be concerned about food going on worktop for example. It would either be on a board or a plate?

Meh I couldn't get mad at this, I do it to and then I wipe the surfaces down with detol and sling the cloth in the washing machine

Chill. Or do it yourself if you insist on a particular way. YABVVU

Curious if people who use the floor brush on the kitchen work surface (then wipe it down) would do the same with the dining table.

May as well……

I have been known to lightly sweep crumbs off the table using the dustpan and brush and then spray and wipe it. I remain unmoved by how horrifying people seem to find this.

Maggie yes I would, and I don't use anti bac spray either . Have not been ill since I stopped working in an office - 25 years ago ! People seem to be neurotic about germs .. what exactly is on your floor ... and you are hardly going to lick the table are you ?

I think that the comments around domestic responsibilities are probably onto something. For me personally cooking dinner and doing bath and bed would be favourable to cleaning up the kitchen (particularly if as you say you're a messy cook) and therefore maybe the split of responsibilities is fair.

It comes down to that you have different standards for how jobs are being done. You feel like your way is the right way. Some people on here agree with you (or think your standards are a bit low!) others think your OTT. What does your DH think about how you cook (in terms of mess not output)? (I speak as someone who could use three saucepans to boil an egg). Maybe you need a proper discussion about what the expectations are around how you complete day to day activities (particularly when they impact on each other as in this case).

Potentially there is a more sensible set of chores (you cook and clean up after yourself in the way you like and he organises bath and bedtime (making sure the bathroom is all clean and tidy after he's got them in bed).

I don't understand why anyone is using a brush.
We both just collect crumbs with disinfected cloth, rinse cloth, then spray disinfectant then wipe down.
Takes about 1 minute.
Dp and I bicker and argue but not over chores.

I hate a crumby cloth.

it's really not that difficult to understand that people do things differently 😂

I agree everyone has a 'Way' but who chastises their partner over chores?
I couldn't be arsed tbh.

Wouldn't bother me. I've been known to do similar with dustpan and brush or handheld hoover. The dishcloth gets thrown in the wash pile each night and I do a load of them on a hotter wash with a dash of zoflora every few weeks along with the tea towels.

There's more germs on your phone than the dustpan and brush and I bet you don't wash your hands after every time you use your phone!

He is a dirty fucker.

I do agree with you, it does sound very unhygienic. But I also try to stop criticizing when other people help and don't do it my way. At least they are helping

You aren't wrong. You do food prep on the work sides. So all the bacteria on the floor, will be spread all over the work sides. 🤮 Wiping it down afterwards would make no difference, unless he used a decent amount out antibacterial spay. (ie tons of it) or bleach.
Explain, that all the germs that are brought in to your household on your shoes. Think bird poop (off the foot path, then collects on the brissles of your brush) tell him, this is cross contamination, that can lead to food poising.
So it's just no no no. 🤮🤮 You don't want to make yourself or your kids sick.

I get it. I saw someone sweeping her kitchen table with the sweeping brush once. I was disgusted. She did wipe down after but that cloth was absolutely filthy too. If he’s going to insist on doing it I’d get a separate one just for the table and hide the one for the floor!

Glad you've sorted it op. Next time, just tell him to use the hoover... 😉

Also presumably because they are hospitals, with sick people in and thousands of people trekking about.
Not private homes.

I do the same as your DH, and then wipe the sides down with anti bac on kitchen towel. I've never considered it to be an issue before reading this post!

I can’t believe there are people defending this!🎵You can’t eat at everybody’s house.🎵

Chuck the brush and dust pan out. Vacuum the floor instead.

I think it’s a weird thing to do and I wouldn’t like it either. Presumably it’s been used on the floor so why the hell would he use it? Doesn’t make sense.

Being utterly unreasonable. A floorpanisno cleaner/dirtier. He's cleaning down with a surface cloth after so the tops are going to be no cleaner/dirtier than before.

If this is an unreasonable hill you plan to die on do it yourself and he can gave the time to put his feet up as clearly it's your way or the highway so no point doing something else as he probably won't do that right either.

Some of the comments on here are classic MN gold 🤣🤣🤣🤣 if I've moved my toaster or microwave to clean then yes OF COURSE I'll use my dustpan & brush to sweep up all the crumbs as it makes the job loads easier. Then I'll spray the side with dettol & clean it etc etc. You people all need to get a grip & OP it's seriously not worth a huge row with your DH over.

Microwave your cloths.

Wow so many people are terrified of germs. You do know that the products you use to clean your surfaces, and wash your dishes with are literally designed to clean and get rid of bacteria etc? So I don't know why there's all this angst about something touching the floor and then a kitchen surface or plate. If something spilled on my floor I'd use the cloth from the sink to wipe it up using cleaning spray. Then rinse the cloth out under hot water and continue to use it for surfaces and washing up. I use my mini Dyson to vacuum kitchen surfaces and floors. We as a family are super healthy, I can't remember the last time any of us had an upset stomach or similar.