Huge row with DH! Help me!!

[DM1720]

Just had a big row with DH over cleaning the kitchen. I usually cook dinner, he cleans up after while I put our kids to bed. It’s a system that works well for us!
This evening I came downstairs and found him sweeping the kitchen surfaces with our dustpan and brush! 🤢 I asked him not to do this before so when I saw him doing it again this evening I got angry and asked why he couldn’t do it the normal way I.e use a cloth to sweep crumbs into hand or even on to floor and sweep after (which he’d be doing anyway!). He couldn’t see where I was coming from at all, and cannot understand what is wrong with his way. I think it’s disgusting even though he plans to wipe down the surfaces after with the kitchen cloth! He said he’s not cleaning up anymore if he’s not left to do it his way etc etc 🙄
AIBU?
Please help me to explain to him how gross this is? He won’t listen. We’re not actually speaking over this!!

What's the problem?

What mad germs do you think are on your floor?

I mean its a bit odd but hardly the end of the world

Pretty crumby! I’m a v messy cook and especially messy when I know I don’t have to clean up after myself!!!

I think it’s disgusting even though he plans to wipe down the surfaces after with the kitchen cloth!

OP, I'm more <boak> about the idea of "the kitchen cloth". Please tell me you don't re-use kitchen cloths (without laundering them between uses - I'm not suggesting you throw them away). This idea is even worse than a manky brush and dustpan followed by a good clean.

I use our dustpan and brush for crumbs on surface Anti bac afterwards My family have survived without any bugs ..think you are being too stressy !

I'm so surprised the vote is this close. Of course it's not ok!

I think germs die off fairly quickly on surfaces, don't they so probably by tomorrow it would be all good. I imagine the damp kitchen cloth might harbour more bacteria though. I'd change that each day tbh- just stick it in the washing machine until you put the next load through.

@DM1720

Thats so much worse.

Completely disrespectful

Thank you!!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😆😆😆

Great for your immune system

I am intrigued...do you change your dishcloth every day?? If not, how often?

Buy him one of these

I always throw mine in the washing machine when I finish in the kitchen at night. Then they get washed when enough of them plus other appropriate things need washing. I hate soggy cloths in the sink.

Of course I wash my cloths and disinfect them on a regular basis!! I rotate on a regular basis too. But perhaps not directly after he’s used them to clean!!

It wouldn't bother me as I do the same.

I just anti-bac the sides afterwards (and before cooking as our cats commit the MN sin of walking on the kitchen sides) and chuck the cloth in the wash afterwards.

Yes every day for me.

It's awful. If l walked into anyone's house and saw them doing this l would be shocked..and afraid to eat anything!
He needs to remember your children learn how to clean from their parents and thinking of them feeling this is normal cleaning is worrying.
There is a reason this is not the regular way to clean a worktop.

I use it for whatever I'm using it for, then put it in the wash. So I can get through several cloths in a day.

I am also the untidiest and least house-proud person I know (my house looks as if it has been burgled). But damp, festering cloths are an absolute no-no.

I think he's hoping you'll tell him to forget it so that you do it. In anycase yanbu and it's disgusting.

OP, I sometimes use my Hoover to remove crumbs from the worktops. Are they as bad as brushes and dustpans? I always Zoflora the worktops afterwards.

I’m astounded that the dustpan pisses you off more than the fact that you’re left doing the bulk of the evening’s domestic heavy lifting. Is the phrase ‘it works for us’ a defence mechanism against facing up to the fact that he’s a useless man-child who can’t even be trusted to clean up properly?

Brush him off!
can you take a break from cooking and get him to do cooking & you clean up ? Then he puts kids to bed or you can take turns putting kids to bed

Personally I think its fine, he is sweeping crumbs straight into the pan to be emptied, not on to the floor where he has to then sweep them again. He is then wiping down the surfaces. You are not going to get ill from that. Leave him alone to do it his way.

If I'm honest this would annoy me more than using the dustpan and brush on the side... especially if you don't change the cloth that's been used to clean before the next day either?

Maybe it's just that in isolation, those two facts make it seem that you're not particularly clean, but you expect him to clean your way anyway.

(Not that I'm suggesting that you're unclean; just to be clear).

No worries!! I got your back girl!! 🤣

oooooooohhh!!! You should get him one of those miniature Henry Hoovers for the counter for Christmas!!

If this instigated a HUGE row, I'd tell you to stick the brush up your arse and do the cleaning yourself.

The easy thing to do, would just suggest you'll buy another brush if that's the way he likes cleaning, as you're uncomfortable him using the regular dust pan and brush.

People have different ways of doing things. Let them get on with it and find a compromise. Sounds like you're both putting the effort in, so why risk resentment.