Huge row with DH! Help me!!

[DM1720]

Just had a big row with DH over cleaning the kitchen. I usually cook dinner, he cleans up after while I put our kids to bed. It’s a system that works well for us!
This evening I came downstairs and found him sweeping the kitchen surfaces with our dustpan and brush! 🤢 I asked him not to do this before so when I saw him doing it again this evening I got angry and asked why he couldn’t do it the normal way I.e use a cloth to sweep crumbs into hand or even on to floor and sweep after (which he’d be doing anyway!). He couldn’t see where I was coming from at all, and cannot understand what is wrong with his way. I think it’s disgusting even though he plans to wipe down the surfaces after with the kitchen cloth! He said he’s not cleaning up anymore if he’s not left to do it his way etc etc 🙄
AIBU?
Please help me to explain to him how gross this is? He won’t listen. We’re not actually speaking over this!!

I do that if it’s particularly dusty/crumby.

Goodness, all this fuss about cleaning! A bit of muck never hurt anyone and this poor guy should just be left alone to do his thing.

I can't believe that people are saying this is ok and that you are making something out of nothing. I totally disagree with them. God knows what is on the bottom of our shoes from outside and he is transferring that onto your work surfaces where food is prepared. Just no. Absolutely disgusting.

I'm with you.

Now wondering how long "the" kitchen cloth hanging on our tap has been there since its last wash. I just rinse it in hot water every time it used and hang it on the tap to dry, it's basically washed after the rinse right? Have never had any sort of food poisoning or food related illness so....

Jesus wept woman. Rinse it out in hot water. Unless your kitchen floor is covered in literal shit, you'll be fine. It's funny, my child picks up anything and everything that's been on the floor. She's fine.

On a side note, if I had to clean up after you, and knew you deliberately were messy because you weren't cleaning, I'd clean the bin with your toothbrush. ..in summary, YABU

Just how dirty are peoples floors?? I can’t imagine mine is seriously germ infested as it’s swept daily! Only needs a mop once a week and spot cleaning when needed.

I mean it’s not a method I’d use but meh. I would laugh if DH did that and let him crack on.

My method is to wipe crumbs off, sweep floor then hot soapy water for the surfaces. Stick cloths in freshly boiled water for 15 mins cleans them more effectively than any other.

Why are you walking in the house with your shoes 🤨

I do that sometimes and don't see the problem
With it as long as it's wiped down effectively afterwards, it's a very effective way of getting rid of crumbs before cleaning......

He’s wiping it down after
Presumably nobody died yet op? Yabu

A bit of muck never hurt anyone

500,000 (ish) cases of food poisoning
20,000 (ish) hospitalisations
100 (ish) deaths

Just how dirty are peoples floors??

Well, my car uses her litter tray and then walks over the floors. And white I usually take my shoes off at the door, occasionally there might be a reason that I don't, and whatever is on the bottom of my shoes will transfer to the floor.

So while they are cleaned regularly, I wouldn't want to use the same brush on both my floor and my kitchen surfaces.

Cat* it would be highly unusual to have a litter tray for a car.

You've massively overreacted. This is not a big deal at all. Might be your preference to do it differently and you could request that but you can't demand it and there's no reason to have kicked off like that.

I agree it’s not overly sanitary, but I assume you antibac after so don’t see a huge issue.

Id say pick your battles. A huge row over this is a slippery slope!

hope you make up soon :)

I couldn’t give a shit about this. If you want it done in a certain way, you’ll have to do it yourself. Your choice.

That is beyond disgusting, particularly as you've bought him one for that specific purpose. Is he finding creative ways of trying to get out of doing it? Have you tried cleaning the loo with his toothbrush?

@DM1720 You could change what you do in light of what he does. We have two of those large glass chopping boards, we use those to prep food on and would therefore not worry about the worktop. The worktop is clean/tidy but not food prep clean, the chopping boards are food prep clean.

I think what he is doing is ill-advised, but sounds like he's not going to change his ways. I would try appealing to his better nature and ask him to please do it, but he sounds stubborn.

I thought that too, it took a full 10 minutes. to stop feeling Green at WTF he would do while cooking.

I just could not live with someone who didn't have the same hygiene standards.

YADNBU
Read this a while back-

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/may/03/wearing-shoes-indoors-bad-science#:~:text=Shoes%20worn%20outside%20can%20be,the%20soles%20of%20our%20shoes.

Scientists have spent over 10 years studying household dust and have found that the amount of contaminates (Ecoli, microplastics, cancer-causing toxins etc) found from wearing outdoor shoes inside they recommend bare feet or separate indoor shoes.
Not all dirt is bad dirt but just leave it on the floor, not on food surfaces

I am really shocked at the poll. It's disgusting.

Gross, gross, gross. My DH does similar things in kitchen. Makes me freak out

Ultimately this, although I can see why it might annoy you a bit. But it's hard to say really as it is annoying having somebody pecking at you whilst you're trying to do something.

Same. Maybe people rely a lot on antibac and think that makes it not a problem, whereas I never use antibac because it is bad for health, but make sure the cooking surfaces are properly clean.

Why would you use the cloth again the next day?

Youre meant to put them in the wash.

We have a basket of clothes. We use one to clean and it goes in the washing basket. Fresh one used for next cleaning up.

Worse things happen at sea. I once caught dh using the hoover (the floor hoover not a handheld) on the kitchen surfaces. I wasn’t impressed but we didn’t have a massive row over it.