Huge row with DH! Help me!!

[DM1720]

Just had a big row with DH over cleaning the kitchen. I usually cook dinner, he cleans up after while I put our kids to bed. It’s a system that works well for us!
This evening I came downstairs and found him sweeping the kitchen surfaces with our dustpan and brush! 🤢 I asked him not to do this before so when I saw him doing it again this evening I got angry and asked why he couldn’t do it the normal way I.e use a cloth to sweep crumbs into hand or even on to floor and sweep after (which he’d be doing anyway!). He couldn’t see where I was coming from at all, and cannot understand what is wrong with his way. I think it’s disgusting even though he plans to wipe down the surfaces after with the kitchen cloth! He said he’s not cleaning up anymore if he’s not left to do it his way etc etc 🙄
AIBU?
Please help me to explain to him how gross this is? He won’t listen. We’re not actually speaking over this!!

Bad for human health in the home

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/bleach-use-increased-risk-fatal-lung-disease-health-a7939896.html

What the fuck are "floor germs"?

Completely different and a ridiculous comparison.
Unless you have hundreds of strangers trampling through your kitchen at home of course.
You'd also be closed down if you didn't label your food in a restaurant kitchen, or kept things beyond their use by, I suppose you'd have us all product labelling our food cupboards and fridges as well wouldn't you.

He is being deliberately incompetent.

That’s gross, you are not being unreasonable. Buy him a hand-held mini vac, so easy to hoover up crumbs and empty after.

I find it interesting that he cleans the kitchen but you refer to the cloths as "my cloths".

This isnt about cleaning, its about respect and you clearly dont have any for him. I wonder if the reason you do the cooking and bedtime is because you dont trust him to.

You say "it works for us". I suspect you mean "It works for me as then its done my way and he should do as he is told".

Thank you. Interesting article. I'll have to read it properly, but in skimming the original article it seems to be looking at nurses using it in a professional capacity. That's not to dismiss the findings, but I want to find out more about the levels of exposure and compare it to other daily activities (walking where there are lots of cars for example).

And when pushed you would say "Well I do it because he doesnt do it properly".......

I had a friend who would tell anyone with ears that her husband was useless and lazy and she had to tell him everything. Not true. She just wouldnt let him as he did it differently to how she would do it.

That's so disgusting. It sounds just like something my husband would do. The other week he decided to use a filthy stinky floor cloth (that I had no idea he'd stashed away) to clean down the kitchen cupboards. The kitchen stank like death when I came down for breakfast.
Why do they do stupid stuff like this? Drives me crazy.

When I was at university, the cleaner used to "clean" the basin and surround with a mop. 🤮

Do people actually use the kitchen surface to prepare food instead of a chopping board? Like cutting up your steak on the kitchen bench. Really?

For everyone just throwing dish cloth in the machine every day, surely you are not washing at 40 with tshirts, pants etc? I don't wash mine every day, it goes in a 60 wash when I do one. 60 kills germs, 40 doesn't- so that's gross too, right?
My reaction to floor/ counter contamination is much stronger- I would have been raging too OP!

Thinking further, if the cloth and counters are sprayed with anti bac.....its all been anti bac'd sooooo???

I just picked one at random to highlight the issue, it is often thought that in home bleach exposure is worse than professional because there is no control/guidance over how and where it is used.
It has been well known for many years that bleach use damages lungs.

It is not directly comparable to air pollution caused by cars.

Anyway, there is loads out there to read.

So he’s not doing it ‘correctly’ according to your rules? Do it yourself then!

OCD?

Tell him you cleaned the loo with his toothbrush...but it’s fine because you sprayed it with antibac afterwards.

I would love to know what the hell goes on on some of these floors that "floor germs" are such an issue!

Or are we going back to "poo crumbs"?!

Swap jobs, he cooks and takes children to bed, you clean.

Or swap DH. (It is vile btw)

Hey I might get a new DP+P for surfaces- it's a good idea in theory. Just not the one I use for cleaning up after the cat.

*+B

I agree with you that it's nasty to use the same one you use for everything else @DM1720 .

There are some yuk people on here saying it’s okay- urgh!
I guess you would think it’s okay to use the bottom of your shoe to wipe your worksurface as long as you are “going over a cloth with it afterwards “ 🫢🙄

I literaly always do this. Then wipe down afterwards. Why would you wipe crumbs into your hand or into the floor when you can literally put them straight into the bin you sound a little controlling over how to clean kitchen sides.

Your way probably isn't always the right way OP

Men do things to irritate you so they get the reaction you gave him. ( it’s all planned)
No more cleaning for him. 🤣

@Banana2079

What do you think cleaning is?!

Has he said why he doesn't use the crumb brush? I know you shouldn't have to do this, but would it help if you left it out on the kitchen worktop when you finish so that it's actually easier for him to use that one than go looking for the floor one? With any luck he'll get so used to it that he will prefer using that one.