Huge row with DH! Help me!!

[DM1720]

Just had a big row with DH over cleaning the kitchen. I usually cook dinner, he cleans up after while I put our kids to bed. It’s a system that works well for us!
This evening I came downstairs and found him sweeping the kitchen surfaces with our dustpan and brush! 🤢 I asked him not to do this before so when I saw him doing it again this evening I got angry and asked why he couldn’t do it the normal way I.e use a cloth to sweep crumbs into hand or even on to floor and sweep after (which he’d be doing anyway!). He couldn’t see where I was coming from at all, and cannot understand what is wrong with his way. I think it’s disgusting even though he plans to wipe down the surfaces after with the kitchen cloth! He said he’s not cleaning up anymore if he’s not left to do it his way etc etc 🙄
AIBU?
Please help me to explain to him how gross this is? He won’t listen. We’re not actually speaking over this!!

We have a small table brush and pan, like they use in restaurants, maybe get one of those?

Similar to this

2 Pcs Small Cleaning Tools Blue Pink Dustpan and Brush Set Portable Cleaning Set for Computer CCounter Table Desktop amzn.eu/d/6HPulUv

Yanbu.. My DH has some dirty habits but even he wouldn't use a floor pan and brush to clean the counter tops. In fact I don't know anyone who openly does this. If people do it in secret then surely that means deep down they know it's not acceptable?

😂

How difficult can it be for him to use a dish cloth and wipe the crumbs off into the waiting dustpan? surely he can understand that using the dust brush isn’t hygienic - even if he follows with a surface wipe it’s likely that some spots will be missed.
Why create the problem in the first place?

OP said

For those that think I’m awful for making a mess as I cook. I don’t deliberately make a mess, lol. I just don’t clean up after myself as I go. Not like I would if I were doing the clean up after.

Then said:

I’ve made the point already I don’t deliberately make a mess!!

Those two sentences contradict each other. Either you deliberately don't clean up after yourself the way you would if you had to do it or you don't! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't wash anything at 60

"openly"

Lucky for me, my kitchen isn't a public place so I can do whatever I like in it with regard to cleaning. Or not.

I don't have a cockapoo

Do I still have "floor germs"?

Hospitals are pretty persistent about cleaning floors, even with no dogs, presumably because of ‘floor germs’.

What a stupid thing to fall out about! As long as the surfaces are cleaned afterwards I couldn't give a shit about this 🙄

Can you swap roles.

Can't believe some people are siding with DH here - it's very unhygienic!!! I would be foaming and not back down on this... YANBU

If you want the job done YOUR way, do it YOURSELF.

I wouldn't like this and since he seemingly won't change I suggest you swap jobs. Otherwise buy a separate dust pan & brush as a peace offering.

Then again, reading your subsequent posts, I wouldn't respect someone who purposely made more mess/made no efforts to make less mess because they weren't cleaning up themselves. That's arrogant and lazy. Perhaps your DH also objects to such bad manners. Try making less mess and seeing if he suddenly is more willing to do as you'd like. If you did that to me more than a couple of times, I'd find somewhere you really wouldn't like- personal to you, to put YOUR mess.

Why is this even a question on Mumsnet this is something people deal with themselves

Here, in France, they do sell table brushes and dustpans, but specifically for tables, or worktops.
I would buy him one and let him get on with it, to avoid a strike.
Most definately.

It is a bit gross. We have multiple cloths and soak them in hot bleachy water overnight if they are used in the evening for anything. But I clean as I go when I cook whereas my husband is like you where he doesn't 😅

Gross!! I’d liken it to scrubbing your whole family’s and the dog’s pubes with a toothbrush then using the brush to clean your teeth…

Same as others have said, separate ( how about a small 'toy' set, would probably be better) dustpan and brush. I wouldn't be happy if my DH did this, common sense tells you it's not hygienic.

Someone has probably already said this, but he just needs a small cleaning brush and dustpan made just for sweepings counters, cupboards, etc. Also, it is gross.

Exactly! In fact, I never thought of doing it that way and I'm going to get a specific one for this reason so I can!

Agree with previous poster,have a separate dustpan and brush for doing work surfaces. Just make sure you put a label on it or write on it so they don't get mixed up!

Yes, absolutely!
Get him one in solid, simple colour, dedicate to it one space and explain him that from now on is this one only for work surfaces and he always finds it on this spot.

I just can't see how there are so many crumbs on the kitchen surface that you need to use a special dustpan and brush. My long dead grannies would be pissing themselves laughing at your first world problems.

Use a cutting board to prep food, take cutting board and hold it against your unit, sweep crumbs onto board with your hand, dispose of. Or better still, throw breadcrumbs outside for the birds 🙄