AIBU?
Neighbour bought a trampoline to look over our fence
LazyJayne · 11/10/2022 17:45
Have had issues with overly friendly neighbour since we moved in. The original divider between our back gardens was a low hedge, and she would come out and talk to us every single time we were out in the garden. And boy, can she talk. She also used to lift her DC over the hedge without asking to play with our DC (who is years older and not interested).
Eventually, we put up a 6ft fence on our side of the hedge. I’d tried to warm her up to the idea of this beforehand by saying we were thinking of getting a dog and needed a fence to keep it in.
When we put up the fence she initially made few jokey comments about how it was harder to talk to us now, but she solved this problem by placing a step on her side and continued to pop up whenever we were out in garden.
My husband then planted bamboo along the fence which shot up over the summer and is now about 8ft.
Last month, we saw from our bedroom window that a large trampoline had appeared in her garden. We assumed it was for her DC and thought nothing of it. However, they don’t use it, she does.
When I was out in the garden a few weeks ago, up she popped over the top of the bamboo, laughing hysterically, and shouting ‘see what I’ve had to resort to! hahaha!’ I said something along the lines of ‘oh yes haha, is that a trampoline for X’ and she said it was originally but he wasn’t interested so she’s going to use it for exercise instead.
So far all her exercises have coincided with us being out in the garden.
We’re now back at square one and whenever we’re out she appears over the bamboo, laughing and shouting.
My husband is very non confrontational and says the bamboo will keep growing and eventually she won’t be able to see over it, but I think this will take year as she must be hitting the 20ft mark at full jump height. We would also start losing light if we let it get that high.
WIBU to tell her directly to give us some privacy? Is there a gentle way to do it that won’t hurt her feelings that we’re missing?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Characterbuilding · 13/10/2022 09:44
vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 13/10/2022 10:30
I suspect this whole thread is a trampoline marketing campaign and the DM article is the next phase. Tomorrow we all get fliers through our doors and at the weekend a wee man will appear with our no obligation free trial lifetime trampoline.
We are being groomed.
plzjuslemesleep · 13/10/2022 10:36
I agree with the above poster who says it's probably confirmation bias and you need to relax about it a bit. The lengths you've gone to to avoid contact with her seem quite extreme. Hopefully she'll see this thread and realise her bubbly neighbourliness is not appreciated by you and find someone else nice to chat to.
MamaBearof4 · 13/10/2022 19:43
You've dropped enough hints and she just isn't getting it. It might be that she simply is unable to pick up on social cues and has no idea that you are craving privacy - after all, a quick chat in the front garden is okay, to her it may transfer as therfore all chats if you are outdoors are okay.
Now you need to bite the bullet and tell her straight. You can say it gently - say you like her and are happy to chat when you see each other out front, but you'd really like to keep the back garden private and just family and could she please refrain from looking over into the space on purpose.
Good luck OP. xx
hereyougoagain · 14/10/2022 00:49
@LazyJayne she starts jumping, you start taking a video of her each time.
Two birds with one stone, she might rethink doing it when you are out in the garden, we get to see the video (you can put a smiley over her face for privacy) and be convinced it’s all true 🤓
Queenbee77 · 14/10/2022 18:41
I would wear the biggest headphones and singing loudly next time in garden. But it has mede me laugh. There are people like her and she needa to be told or she will end up like someone I used to know who would turn up uninvited until all were sick of her...she used to talk for england...so all shunned her and she ended up in an mental ward with a breakdown cos no one wanted to be her friend. Clearly issues to start with but someone should point her in the direction of counselling now!
Oldbutwiser · 01/11/2022 09:32
We had a neighbour who was always there when we went in the garden but they weren't friendly. She thinks she owned the street and always had the right to know what other people are doing. Put washing out she was in the window, cut hedges in the window she was in the window. 5 minutes after cutting the hedges she'd be out to cut them 15cm lower like she'd got to decide how high they should be and they had to be low enoughfor her to see what we were doing. Cut my grass she'd have to cut hers whilst breaking her neck to see over what we were doing. If she was in the garden and we went out she'd sit with her daughter making comments loudly that they never had any privacy. It was like we had to stay in if they were in the garden. They'd of had more privacy if they didn't cut the hedges so low. She had cameras at the front so knew when we were out or in we'd think we were safe when she was out but as soon as she came back in she'd go to where we'd been done a job in the garden to check what we'd done so she'd obviously been filming .She occasionally said hello but that was mostly because we'd caught her spying. She used to loudly complain if we had our windows open as we were " spying" on what she was doing. It was being under surveillance all the time.
MysteryBelle · 01/11/2022 16:59
Oldbutwiser · 01/11/2022 09:32
We had a neighbour who was always there when we went in the garden but they weren't friendly. She thinks she owned the street and always had the right to know what other people are doing. Put washing out she was in the window, cut hedges in the window she was in the window. 5 minutes after cutting the hedges she'd be out to cut them 15cm lower like she'd got to decide how high they should be and they had to be low enoughfor her to see what we were doing. Cut my grass she'd have to cut hers whilst breaking her neck to see over what we were doing. If she was in the garden and we went out she'd sit with her daughter making comments loudly that they never had any privacy. It was like we had to stay in if they were in the garden. They'd of had more privacy if they didn't cut the hedges so low. She had cameras at the front so knew when we were out or in we'd think we were safe when she was out but as soon as she came back in she'd go to where we'd been done a job in the garden to check what we'd done so she'd obviously been filming .She occasionally said hello but that was mostly because we'd caught her spying. She used to loudly complain if we had our windows open as we were " spying" on what she was doing. It was being under surveillance all the time.
Terrible, wow, did you have to move or did she?
MysteryBelle · 01/11/2022 17:03
I keep giving this same advice on other threads, but one solution that fits so many situations of unwanted company or nosy neighbors is to put them to work and then they’ll never want to come around again for fear of being asked to help do some dreadful task.
Tell your trampoline neighbor that you must have her help digging a large hole for a tree you’re going to plant. Make the job extremely unpleasant.
This works! Guaranteed 😀
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