Neighbour bought a trampoline to look over our fence

[LazyJayne]

Have had issues with overly friendly neighbour since we moved in. The original divider between our back gardens was a low hedge, and she would come out and talk to us every single time we were out in the garden. And boy, can she talk. She also used to lift her DC over the hedge without asking to play with our DC (who is years older and not interested).

Eventually, we put up a 6ft fence on our side of the hedge. I’d tried to warm her up to the idea of this beforehand by saying we were thinking of getting a dog and needed a fence to keep it in.

When we put up the fence she initially made few jokey comments about how it was harder to talk to us now, but she solved this problem by placing a step on her side and continued to pop up whenever we were out in garden.

My husband then planted bamboo along the fence which shot up over the summer and is now about 8ft.

Last month, we saw from our bedroom window that a large trampoline had appeared in her garden. We assumed it was for her DC and thought nothing of it. However, they don’t use it, she does.

When I was out in the garden a few weeks ago, up she popped over the top of the bamboo, laughing hysterically, and shouting ‘see what I’ve had to resort to! hahaha!’ I said something along the lines of ‘oh yes haha, is that a trampoline for X’ and she said it was originally but he wasn’t interested so she’s going to use it for exercise instead.

So far all her exercises have coincided with us being out in the garden.

We’re now back at square one and whenever we’re out she appears over the bamboo, laughing and shouting.

My husband is very non confrontational and says the bamboo will keep growing and eventually she won’t be able to see over it, but I think this will take year as she must be hitting the 20ft mark at full jump height. We would also start losing light if we let it get that high.

WIBU to tell her directly to give us some privacy? Is there a gentle way to do it that won’t hurt her feelings that we’re missing?

[Bluetree89]

@DillDanding

Maybe she’ll end up so pissed off with the encroachment by the (bloody) bamboo when it starts shooting up through her lawn, she’ll stop speaking to you.

Yes, I detest bamboo.

I can see this going the other way with the neighbour cutting the bamboo back when it gets too high and saying to the OP “now look what you have made me do now”. 😂

[HangerLaneGyratorySystem]

I take it you can all see the adverts for the giant trampoline now?!

[MysteryBelle]

@HangerLaneGyratorySystem

I take it you can all see the adverts for the giant trampoline now?!

Yep.

[Mumof3PrettyBoys]

@LazyJayne

To clarify, we don’t dislike this woman, we think she’s funny and bubbly and enjoy saying hello and having a quick chat in the FRONT garden. We just want to enjoy the back garden as a family.

And THAT OP is how you tell her! That is fair enough if you ask me, tell her front garden is fine for quick chats but if you and hubby wanted to tan yer titties or dance naked in the moonlight you'd like the privacy to do so in your back garden 🤣🤣 jokes aside, that is not a bad approach, especially if you do get on and if she is genuine and didnt realise she was over stepping a bit, she will respect you for talking to her about it in a fair way as you just did. Then thank her for understanding 🍾🍾🍾🍾

She sounds like one of them people who would so ooover stay at your house until you literally have to ask them to leave 🙈 🙈 bless her heart ❤️

plus side is you've got a trusty house watcher if you ever go on holiday or anything!

Good luck OP!!

[llizzie]

Why not erect some arches which you can grow climbing roses up? You will never get privacy with a fence or hedge, and she can still look down from her windows, presumably.

What you need is something which has a roof, like a pagoda (like arches facing forward, you would need a few of them depending on your garden) and some 'mile-a-minute' to grow over it. Certainly something a bit evergreen.

You might perhaps be able to connect arches to the fence. It may be expensive, but you will have privacy and no one would be able to look down on you. There are some beautiful climbing roses, but in the winter they tend to be a bit bare, though it would be too cold in winter for your neighbour to trampoline. If you grow something up the fence it will not help you, and if you plant trees, they will be costly to maintain and the roots could damage your garden and drains.

[llizzie]

I don't like the idea of the giant trampoline having a ''lifetime warranty'. It could be there forever.

[Rosehugger]

You could get a Nerf gun and make up your own sport, a cross between whack-a-mole and gun sports, as she pops up.

Or even better, a supersoaker.

"Oh, sorry, I was just watering the bamboo."

[Tiani4]

"Look neighbour, we like you, you're funny and bubbly . Like a quick chat when in the front garden. But We just want to have peace and quiet to enjoy the back garden as a family. This is our private garden away from everything & everyone.
So no more using the trampoline to talk to us over our tall fence! Please move it away.
How about we have a cup of coffee Thursday after work
... bye"

[Battyfumworts]

That is hilarious, weird but hilarious. I’d get bored of it quite quickly; I’m really funny about my back garden being a private space, I’d either say something or move.

why am I being bombarded with trampoline adverts right through the thread 😂

[Branleuse]

If youre really friendly in the front garden, but totally ignore her in the back garden, thats positive reinforcemnt

[LuckyLil]

@LazyJayne

This was something we talked about at the time as the boundary line seemed to be down the middle of the hedge. we didn’t want to uproot the hedge or have to ask next door’s permission to erect the fence, so we decided to put it next to it and accept losing about 30cm of land. The garden is big enough for to not really make a difference to us. The boundary line on the purchase documents is a thick red line so not helpful. If we sell up we might take down the fence (unless doing so will impact the value - will get advice at the time)

You may find that you may not actually be able to sell until the boundary issue is resolved. Most buyers won't want to complete until something like this has been properly dealt with by the vendor. Outside of that, your neighbour sounds completely bonkers. What does her husband do while she's in the garden making a pest of herself and bouncing up and down like an idiot? I wonder if being too friendly has worked against you and you need to start ignoring her more.

[BatteryPoweredMammy]

You’re being very twatty and passive aggressive about all this when having a clear conversation about your boundary’s was all you needed to do.

Yes, you’d probably have to remind her a couple of times initially, but speaking to her directly is the only sensible solution and costs you zero.

I actively dislike people like the OP who pretend to be friendly to your face but are actively stabbing you in the back to others. It’s basically a grown up version of Mean Girls.

[MRex]

Trampoline 3ft, woman 5ft 7, likely jumping height 2-3 ft, total 11ft. The world record is about 21ft with significant assistance, so you really need to back off a bit on that one OP, sorry.

She was probably just joking. Is it not a bit.more likely that the times coincide because those are the times that the sun comes out?

[FreshCop]

I really feel bad for her. We used to have a school mum like this who would park her car down the street from my house and start waving when she saw me. I just wanted a quiet morning walk to drop my my DC off without her.

She had depression, postpartum depression, and was abandoned by her partner during her pregnancy.

I was pleasant but distant. I'd go out in the garden with a laptop and headphones and tell her you've started an online business and are extremely busy.

Or they both start acting super neurotic, leading her to believe she should keep her distance instead.

I understand how annoying it is because every time I saw her, she literally spat a bunch of information at me that I didn't ask for, asked me nothing, told me the price of everything she has and buys, and then went on her merry way.

This went on for months until she found another unfortunate mother closer to her house to whom she could transfer her affections.

[12LuDo]

How come everyone else is getting trampoline adverts and all I'm getting is bladder leakage products, what is Google trying to say?! Feeling kind of victimised ove lt here! 😭

[Oceans12]

@PoundShopPrincess This happens all the time. Neighbours building higher fences. Other neighbours getting trampolines. Then someone gets a tree house. Before you know, you're taking flying lessons just to maintain that neighbourly spirit.

That's really funny - post of the day 😂😂

[Thisisashitshow]

This cannot be real....but it is very, very funny.

[Oceans12]

@12LuDo How come everyone else is getting trampoline adverts and all I'm getting is bladder leakage products, what is Google trying to say?! Feeling kind of victimised ove lt here! 😭

I'm not sure what's happening with your computer but I keep getting adverts with a kangeroo on...
G'day Skippy !

[Sunnidaze]

Put your headphones on and pretend to be listening to something very important/interesting.

[CannibalQueen]

@BashfulClam

Headphones every time you are out in the garden and ignoring her because you can’t hear her. She’ll give up.

PERFECT.

[PuppyMonkey]

Sorry to be disappointingly sensible on THE most hilarious thread in MN history etc, but can’t you just, you know, blatantly ignore her?

[Ineke]

Wear ear phones and pretend not to hear her. Or sunbathe topless, she may realise that your back garden is a private space then.

[Everyflippingusernameistaken]

This is unbelievable. She sounds like a bloody nutter. That would drive me crazy.

[BettyJDavies]

What a load of Bollocks, to look over a fence you want a step ladder.