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AIBU?

Neighbour bought a trampoline to look over our fence

301 replies

LazyJayne · 11/10/2022 17:45

Have had issues with overly friendly neighbour since we moved in. The original divider between our back gardens was a low hedge, and she would come out and talk to us every single time we were out in the garden. And boy, can she talk. She also used to lift her DC over the hedge without asking to play with our DC (who is years older and not interested).

Eventually, we put up a 6ft fence on our side of the hedge. I’d tried to warm her up to the idea of this beforehand by saying we were thinking of getting a dog and needed a fence to keep it in.

When we put up the fence she initially made few jokey comments about how it was harder to talk to us now, but she solved this problem by placing a step on her side and continued to pop up whenever we were out in garden.

My husband then planted bamboo along the fence which shot up over the summer and is now about 8ft.

Last month, we saw from our bedroom window that a large trampoline had appeared in her garden. We assumed it was for her DC and thought nothing of it. However, they don’t use it, she does.

When I was out in the garden a few weeks ago, up she popped over the top of the bamboo, laughing hysterically, and shouting ‘see what I’ve had to resort to! hahaha!’ I said something along the lines of ‘oh yes haha, is that a trampoline for X’ and she said it was originally but he wasn’t interested so she’s going to use it for exercise instead.

So far all her exercises have coincided with us being out in the garden.

We’re now back at square one and whenever we’re out she appears over the bamboo, laughing and shouting.

My husband is very non confrontational and says the bamboo will keep growing and eventually she won’t be able to see over it, but I think this will take year as she must be hitting the 20ft mark at full jump height. We would also start losing light if we let it get that high.

WIBU to tell her directly to give us some privacy? Is there a gentle way to do it that won’t hurt her feelings that we’re missing?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Yabado · 12/10/2022 08:14

Anyone else getting adds for a huge trampoline 😂😂

chaosmaker · 12/10/2022 08:44

That's really sad.

chaosmaker · 12/10/2022 09:01

chaosmaker · 12/10/2022 08:44

That's really sad.

Sorry, I meant to quote the story about the woman whose husband moved her away due to her mental health.
@LazyJayne a conversation with your neighbour would have done the job quicker and saved ££££'s and your garden from the bamboo.

hereyougoagain · 12/10/2022 09:42

Ok, not all bamboo is invasive and there’s some round our town which is decades old and hasn’t spread (but grew forest-tall and stems thickened). There’s actually a lot of types of bamboo recommended for gardening nowadays which isn’t invasive.

However the woman I can totally believe and I’m even slightly suspicious I know her (or at least her kindred spirit).
She’s the sort of woman who the whole town knows because she’s so chatty, and many people eventually lurch on seeing her because they know it’s next to impossible to have just a quick hello if she has time on her hands.

I know quite a few people who left or wouldn’t join the gym she’s at because she’s there 😁. @LazyJayne are her DC two boys by any chance?

Also in my case this lady does have a partner and even a job (part-time) but still seems to have this insatiable desire to talk talk talk to everyone she can get hold of.

At the same time she IS nice , lively and helpful, but the trampoline is something I can see her doing.

spottygymbag · 12/10/2022 09:44

In my mind your neighbor is the dotty pharmacist from the Doc Martin tv show, neck brace and all.

aboutanidiot · 12/10/2022 14:41

PoundShopPrincess · 11/10/2022 18:22

This happens all the time. Neighbours building higher fences. Other neighbours getting trampolines. Then someone gets a tree house. Before you know, you're taking flying lessons just to maintain that neighbourly spirit.

😂

aboutanidiot · 12/10/2022 17:13

I'm like your neighbour. In my case though, I'm just lonely with nobody to talk to.

hereyougoagain · 12/10/2022 18:28

@aboutanidiot you have no neighbours?

aboutanidiot · 12/10/2022 18:36

hereyougoagain · 12/10/2022 18:28

@aboutanidiot you have no neighbours?

Yes, but they don't like my trampoline.

Kazzzzzzzzzzz · 12/10/2022 19:28

I had a neighbour like that, he used to jump on the trampoline waving frantically shouting 'hello' as he bounced up and down as I was trying to relax in my garden. Next time I sat there with my tits hanging out and he got the message although it might have encouraged him 🤣...I suggest you or your husband walk out in the nude so that next time she does it she'll realise she's invading your privacy!! Bloody trampoline owners should be banished! If you have to have one fgs place it at the bottom of your garden 🤣

LikeTearsInRain · 12/10/2022 19:31

Can you move OP?

MarkHemmings · 12/10/2022 19:36

Best just tell her.

NoKnickerElastic · 12/10/2022 19:38

YABU for planting bamboo! One of the reasons we left our last house was the neighbour's out of control bamboo, it's a total nightmare if not planted correctly

Starlyte · 12/10/2022 19:50

I get half the village peering into the garden, to see what's going on...
In the village I lived in before (as opposed to on the outskirts as now) our garden was low with a carpark above it... where some would stand watching us, on their way to the graveyard. It was very unerving, but as the house burnt down we got away.
Now it's only from a distance.
I live in a deserted part of the French mountains, where some villages had no road till 60 or 70 years ago. I won't go into the diversity genetic, obviously.
Long from towns there is nothing to do except talk about the other habitants, and me being a hermit, I am the weirdy

Dotcomma · 12/10/2022 19:50

Get a gazebo - one she can't see through or over. Make a habit of sitting in it every time you go in the garden - just so she knows the score.

rottiesarebigteddybears · 12/10/2022 19:51

BashfulClam · 11/10/2022 17:56

Headphones every time you are out in the garden and ignoring her because you can’t hear her. She’ll give up.

This!
Just say you listen to music a lot and pretend you can't hear her. Just have earbuds in, with no music. People like this eventually get bored if they're getting nothing back. Just be "unchatty" and a little cold. Awkward, but she will tire of flogging a dead horse eventually. I Hope!!

Mikey87 · 12/10/2022 19:54

Just tell her you want to be left alone. Can't believe you erected a fence and planted bamboo because of a chatty neighbour. Use your words for crying out loud

Mumof3girlygirls · 12/10/2022 19:58

All I can think is I hope and pray you boxed in the bamboo underground..... or you've kissed goodbye to your garden! I speak from experience and advise you to get rid of it or box underground to stop it spreading.

Caelan2018 · 12/10/2022 20:03

Ring an estate agent I couldn't live beside her any longer that would do my head in

Hmm1234 · 12/10/2022 20:04

Is she on drugs?! Next time she’s in the air jumping just shout at her ‘give us some privacy’

Myotherusernamesafunnyone · 12/10/2022 20:08

Lifeomars · 11/10/2022 18:49

unless you have planted the bamboo in tubs you may very well live to regret it. My ex-neighbour did this (not because I am in any way nosy nor in posession of a trampoline) and it took over their tiny back yard and invaded mine. They moved out and this year I had to have it professionally dug out as it was everywhere. It is an utter nightmare, it puts out runners that burrow many meters underground which then thrust up branches all over the place. It grew massive, invaded the guttering on my kitchen extension, blocked a lot of light and was a real headache. You'd be better with the highest fence you can get away with. As for the leaping lady next door, it sounds as if she could join a circus!

This
Bamboo is the devil
Bad plan

oakleaffy · 12/10/2022 20:22

@LazyJayne
I ‘m afraid we had a neigbour who was like this-
So bloody intrusive.
She took to training a CCTV on our gardens, and would stand on a wall to talk over the fence whenever a neighbour was in the Garden.
She likely had mental health issues, she definitely had zero boundaries and liked drinking.
I told her to “ Get the heck out of my front garden” when she came round.
She relentlessly harried a family out of their home, and I didn’t want to be next on her list.
Ghastly woman.
Pea shooter ?
Super soaker?
Tazer??

Lovemylittlebear · 12/10/2022 20:27

I used to have neighbours like this years ago…they would sense I was in the garden as soon as I went out and they would all pop their heads over the fence to talk at me. Once guy used to refer to himself in the third person too. Lovely bunch but bloody hell. When my husband was away for a couple of weeks one of them jumped over my back gate and mowed the lawn for me…it was really kind but I hadn’t cleaned up the dog crap since the morning before so there was dog shit sprayed all over the grass lol

those were the days

oakleaffy · 12/10/2022 20:29

Starlyte · 12/10/2022 19:50

I get half the village peering into the garden, to see what's going on...
In the village I lived in before (as opposed to on the outskirts as now) our garden was low with a carpark above it... where some would stand watching us, on their way to the graveyard. It was very unerving, but as the house burnt down we got away.
Now it's only from a distance.
I live in a deserted part of the French mountains, where some villages had no road till 60 or 70 years ago. I won't go into the diversity genetic, obviously.
Long from towns there is nothing to do except talk about the other habitants, and me being a hermit, I am the weirdy

Sounds horrible being gawped at.
France is very rural compared to UK,
I hope the burning house wasn’t arson?

Toomuchtrouble4me · 12/10/2022 20:30

My neighbour did this! We were having supper outside and he bounced for about an hour looking at us - it was really really weird. We weren’t being noisy, only us and 2 kids. Very odd behaviour - at least yours is honest about it - ours bounced in sinister silence!
I don’t think there is a way to say it without causing offence. You could wander out with big headphones on and pretend that you can’t hear her.

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