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AIBU?

Neighbour bought a trampoline to look over our fence

301 replies

LazyJayne · 11/10/2022 17:45

Have had issues with overly friendly neighbour since we moved in. The original divider between our back gardens was a low hedge, and she would come out and talk to us every single time we were out in the garden. And boy, can she talk. She also used to lift her DC over the hedge without asking to play with our DC (who is years older and not interested).

Eventually, we put up a 6ft fence on our side of the hedge. I’d tried to warm her up to the idea of this beforehand by saying we were thinking of getting a dog and needed a fence to keep it in.

When we put up the fence she initially made few jokey comments about how it was harder to talk to us now, but she solved this problem by placing a step on her side and continued to pop up whenever we were out in garden.

My husband then planted bamboo along the fence which shot up over the summer and is now about 8ft.

Last month, we saw from our bedroom window that a large trampoline had appeared in her garden. We assumed it was for her DC and thought nothing of it. However, they don’t use it, she does.

When I was out in the garden a few weeks ago, up she popped over the top of the bamboo, laughing hysterically, and shouting ‘see what I’ve had to resort to! hahaha!’ I said something along the lines of ‘oh yes haha, is that a trampoline for X’ and she said it was originally but he wasn’t interested so she’s going to use it for exercise instead.

So far all her exercises have coincided with us being out in the garden.

We’re now back at square one and whenever we’re out she appears over the bamboo, laughing and shouting.

My husband is very non confrontational and says the bamboo will keep growing and eventually she won’t be able to see over it, but I think this will take year as she must be hitting the 20ft mark at full jump height. We would also start losing light if we let it get that high.

WIBU to tell her directly to give us some privacy? Is there a gentle way to do it that won’t hurt her feelings that we’re missing?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

notprettybeautiful · 12/10/2022 20:31

This is stranger than fiction. If not... Overear headphones and completely ignore her - forever. She'll get the message eventually

Wemian · 12/10/2022 20:32

Buy a trampoline yourself and when she comes out try holding a conversation with her as you bounce in synchronicity. I'd buy the video!!!

"Well (bounce) how (bounce) are (bounce) you?

If it doesn't work at least you'll both be fit!

sharonarnott · 12/10/2022 20:33

Have I been asleep all winter and woken up on April fools day! I think someone is having a laugh, no way is this true 🤔

Catstaps · 12/10/2022 20:41

I think if she’s a nice person I’d just try and live with it. She sounds maybe lonely or doesn’t quite get boundaries. Don’t upset her though as to be honest your lucky to have someone pleasant next door.

Jellybean23 · 12/10/2022 20:47

You'll soon regret planting that bamboo. the neighbour will be the least of your worries.

hammerandtong · 12/10/2022 20:48

You have made my day!! I can just picture this and laugh😅😅

MagsR2356 · 12/10/2022 21:03

Wow this is crazy!! I’d love to see a picture too 😂

SausageMonkey2 · 12/10/2022 21:03

I’d just move house

Looby57 · 12/10/2022 21:07

I’ve got the same problem with my neighbour on one side. She put full size fence panels up apart from 2 where she put the half size ones in. She said so we can still chat. She’s a nice lass don’t get me wrong and I do make allowances but every time we decide to barbecue her son (who has learning difficulties) pops up at the low fence. “Oh are you having a bbq?” Followed by “mm those sausages/burgers smell nice” or “I’m hungry” it’s got so I don’t like sitting in my garden anymore and if the kids are out there I come straight back in

MysteryBelle · 12/10/2022 21:09

No to the bamboo! Hideous stand of bamboo on our property when we bought it, major pain to remove it.

Put her to work, and she’ll never show her face again.

“So glad you’ve popped up! Come give me a hand with moving this cord of firewood closer to the house/taping off damp basement for waterproofing/digging large holes for four young trees I’m (thinking of) buying.”

You get the idea. I guarantee this will work, and you won’t have to be rude or hurt her feelings.

oosha · 12/10/2022 21:11

IHateWasps · 11/10/2022 17:47

Gentle? I'd be hiring a hitman!

Couldn’t have said it better!

MysteryBelle · 12/10/2022 21:11

She will actively avoid coming out when you’re in your garden. Wouldn’t that be Heaven?

MysteryBelle · 12/10/2022 21:12

heaven with a little h. I despise autocorrect!

AmberMcAmber · 12/10/2022 21:12

BashfulClam · 11/10/2022 17:56

Headphones every time you are out in the garden and ignoring her because you can’t hear her. She’ll give up.

Big headphones too so she can see you are wearing them and even if you’re not listening to anything, bop along with the/a beat so you’re even less likely to notice her
shell hopefully get the hint, abd if not, call the cirque du soleil 🤣

Lellabee10 · 12/10/2022 21:15

This made me laugh so much lol. That would drive me insane. I’m the sort of person to give one worded answers until she got the hint I didn’t wanna talk lol

Cw112 · 12/10/2022 21:20

Noise cancelling headphones while you garden and pretend you can't hear her unless you're in the mood for a chat!

Notplayingball · 12/10/2022 21:22

Surely she can just stare out of a bedroom window into your garden if she wanted to?

Keep growing bamboo but she can look in to your garden and not much you can do.

Snosages · 12/10/2022 21:30

Are you worried about them running riot?

user1471538283 · 12/10/2022 21:40

She sounds unhinged. Just be very rude to her. She might be friendly but sometimes people rely on others being polite.

Primula200 · 12/10/2022 21:57

Sounds very funny to us but horrendous for you.
How about saying you have a throat condition and can't talk (much) as it hurts? Also you can say quite simply whilst she seems to love chatting you are a rather quiet introverted type and not very keen. Or you are overworked and you need to have a quiet time to clear your head when you go into the the garden. Or when she starts just say quite bluntly that you're just not in the mood to chat.And when she is leaping just have a chair facing away from her and be reading a book or listening to music with earphones. I think after a few 'refusals' she might get the message. one way of another just don't engage.

browneyes77 · 12/10/2022 21:57

BashfulClam · 11/10/2022 17:56

Headphones every time you are out in the garden and ignoring her because you can’t hear her. She’ll give up.

This was going to be my suggestion too! Don’t need music, just headphones to make it look like you’re listening to something and therefore can’t hear.

Also make sure any chairs you’re sitting on are slightly turned so you’re not looking at her either. That way she can’t try and get your attention by waving over the bamboo as she jumps up and down 😂

Noviembre · 12/10/2022 22:03

I don't see why you have to be gentle. She's a nutcase. Tell her you don't want to talk. Firmly.

She'll be round your house trying to make a suit out of your skin next.

T1Dmama · 12/10/2022 22:14

I would simply chat to her over a coffee and tell her you love having her as a neighbour but could she please allow you privacy in your back garden. Explain you love chatting to her out the front and would love to grab a coffee sometime, but would really love it if the back garden was private

Isinglass20 · 12/10/2022 22:35

🤣🤣🤣 in the end she’ll hurt herself

Bluetree89 · 12/10/2022 23:05

Is this for real?! Your neighbour sounds like a stalker. Sounds like she is under the impression you are great friends whereas most people would get the hint after the initial discussion of a proposed fence. My neighbour used to stick his head over constantly for a chat which we didn’t mind. One day I quickly ran out in my underwear to grab something and he popped his head over to say hello. I was about a week postpartum and was not looking my finest. He never just stuck his head over again.

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