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AIBU?

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Original poster

Assault whilst in school

157 replies

Worriedschoolmum · 10/10/2022 18:36

My 7yo has been sexually assaulted in school by another child. Not a mistake. The school has confirmed this but then told me it has been dealt with and that’s it. Ive been told for information purposes. I’ve asked for a meeting and for the children to be separated but no reply. What do I do now? My child is safe and seems quite calm about this. They acted admirably. No idea who the other child is or their background. It’s seems to have been dismissed given they are children but I’m not happy. If I grabbed another persons groin in work I’m sure I would be disciplined, if not sacked. Im going in tomorrow to speak to the safeguarding lead but what else can I do?

OP posts:
limitededitionbarbie · 10/10/2022 18:39

I'm so sorry op. Your poor child. Hope they and you are ok.

Escalate it to the school governors.

Ask for copies of all the paperwork, files etc relating to this. If they say they can't because it names the other child, ask for their name to be redacted.

I'd go apeshit. It doesn't not sound they are testing this with the importance it deserves.

Downdowndownigo · 10/10/2022 18:40

I've got no real advice but just wanted to say how sorry and angry I am for you and your child.

Sunnyqueen · 10/10/2022 18:41

Can your child not tell you who it was if you want to know?

Oysterbabe · 10/10/2022 18:42

You would be sacked because you are an adult. 7 is below the age of criminal responsibility and they cannot commit assault. Ask the school to clarify what they have done to deal with it.

BeanieTeen · 10/10/2022 18:43

Personally that wouldn’t be good enough for me. I’d talk to the police.

Notjusta · 10/10/2022 18:44

Oysterbabe · 10/10/2022 18:42

You would be sacked because you are an adult. 7 is below the age of criminal responsibility and they cannot commit assault. Ask the school to clarify what they have done to deal with it.

Yes this. How old was the other child?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/10/2022 18:44

Oysterbabe · 10/10/2022 18:42

You would be sacked because you are an adult. 7 is below the age of criminal responsibility and they cannot commit assault. Ask the school to clarify what they have done to deal with it.

This.

What would you want the school to do? Do you know what they have already done? I assume the other child is also 7?

Ponderingwindow · 10/10/2022 18:45

If there is not a meeting scheduled by the time school starts tomorrow morning, I would go to the school and insist on seeing all relevant parties. If the results of that meeting are not satisfactory, you escalate to the police.

mountaindewview · 10/10/2022 18:47

I'd go to school to see the head and I'd ring the local social services team for advice.

I'm so sorry op.

Original poster
Worriedschoolmum · 10/10/2022 18:48

Thank you. I know as the child is under 10 there is no criminal responsibility. I also
understand their potential vulnerability to think this is acceptable. My child has named the child involved. I’ve asked for an immediate meeting and safeguarding information but I am still very angry that my poor child has been violated in what should be a safe space. And that I was told by email!

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedschoolmum · 10/10/2022 18:50

I’ve asked as a bare minimum they are separated in the class ie separate desks and monitored in the playground/at lunch/breaks etc. I will hand them over to the teach tomorrow. Not allow them to line up.

OP posts:
HyggeandTea · 10/10/2022 18:51

I think it is good to talk to the school, but calmly,
What is it that you want to happen to the other child? If you find out they were clearly told how unacceptable that was, given some sort of sanction, the incident recorded, their parents informed, and that the child was suitably upset and sorry, is that enough?

TheHoover · 10/10/2022 18:51

I would expect to know 100% the full details of what happened.
I think it’s standard protocol not to reveal the name of the child (but your DD will tell
you).
I’d want a few more details about what they had done to the other child (but I appreciate they will not give chapter and verse)
Essentially I’d want a meeting.
I’d try not to overreact (but I know I would in your situation)

MrsHamlet · 10/10/2022 18:53

The school can't tell you who the other child is or their background. They also can't tell you how they are being dealt with.
They can, and should, be clear that it is being dealt with seriously.

FourChimneys · 10/10/2022 18:54

I'm so sorry for your child, I hope they are OK.

Please make sure that everything is in writing and copied to the Head of Governors. We had a similar (but not sexual) issue when my DC were at primary and getting the governors involved really helped.

DrivingTheoryTest · 10/10/2022 18:54

Child on child abuse is specifically mentioned in the updated KCSIE guidance. Used to be called peer on peer but the terminology has been updated.

I would ask for a meeting at the school with the safeguarding lead and specifically refer to that guidance and the school's responsibility to report/take seriously.

Oneandone · 10/10/2022 18:54

This must be very distressing for you and your child, but my mind is actually on the other child in terms of safeguarding. Could this be an indication other child is being abused? Children tend to copy what they've seen/experienced in real life through play. I think it's in everyone's interests to get to the bottom of why this happened and school should be taking it seriously.

PinkFrogss · 10/10/2022 18:56

They can’t talk to you about the other child OP, only what they’re doing to protect your own.

At age 7 it’s either silly behaviour that they need to learn not to do, or it’s the worst case scenario and the child is being abused.

MrsGluck · 10/10/2022 18:56

They can't tell you who the other child is or how they are dealing with the child, but they can and should tell you what they are doing to support your child and keep her safe.

Worthyornot · 10/10/2022 18:57

I would be demanding a meeting with the other child's parents.

Original poster
Worriedschoolmum · 10/10/2022 18:58

I want the other child to know how absolutely unacceptable this was. As well as their parents. And for it to never happen again. I want my child to never have anything to do with them again. I’ve been informed after everything has happened. Like an afterthought. So the child has been sent to the headteacher, parents told, disciplined in school. And then I was told outside of school hours with no reply to the concerns I raised. Just it’s been dealt with, hope that’s ok. Erm, no it not.

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 10/10/2022 19:01

Worriedschoolmum · 10/10/2022 18:50

I’ve asked as a bare minimum they are separated in the class ie separate desks and monitored in the playground/at lunch/breaks etc. I will hand them over to the teach tomorrow. Not allow them to line up.

They won’t be able to do that because of staffing issues. I’m really sorry, it shouldn’t have happened, but you’re not going to get any more from the school.

Original poster
Worriedschoolmum · 10/10/2022 19:01

Oneandone · 10/10/2022 18:54

This must be very distressing for you and your child, but my mind is actually on the other child in terms of safeguarding. Could this be an indication other child is being abused? Children tend to copy what they've seen/experienced in real life through play. I think it's in everyone's interests to get to the bottom of why this happened and school should be taking it seriously.

I completely agree with you on this point. Doesn’t help my child but I accept it may be learned behaviour.

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 10/10/2022 19:01

Worthyornot · 10/10/2022 18:57

I would be demanding a meeting with the other child's parents.

You won’t get it, you can’t make them meet you.

mountaindewview · 10/10/2022 19:02

Worthyornot · 10/10/2022 18:57

I would be demanding a meeting with the other child's parents.

That will never happen.

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