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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some random bloke just started an argument with me. 

113 replies

FeelingMoreFreeWithEveryYear · 10/10/2022 14:44

I was just out running with my dog in the countryside near my house. I was absolutely minding my own business as I was determined to run 5K without stopping. My dog runs off lead, until I see another dog, which is rare, and I call him to heel or put on lead depending on situation. My dog doesn't like big dogs coming up to him and a while ago he was attacked by a pack of dogs and I thought he was toast! My dog totally minds his own business.

So, we were going along and these 3 dogs come round the corner without anyone with them. 2 large and 1 medium, so I put my dog on the lead and carry on running. No bother. I'm expecting owner to appear and call dogs back, but they don't. All 3 dogs start circling mine and sniffing his butt and one was in his face. I just carried on running. However, as I ran past the man started making comments to me very loudly, not sure for whose benefit in the middle of a field, about how "isn't it funny how people with dogs are the worst, and hate other dogs" and other comments. So, I stopped and said something about his dogs circling mine and he doesn't like it. Then he made some more comments and by this time I was enraged by this guy who I doubt would be saying all this if I was a man. So I told him I didn't think he was setting his DC a very good example making comments to a woman out on her own. Then he made some more comments, I can't even remember what, so I called him a F* Arsehole and jogged on with him shouting something as I left.

I'm not proud of using this language in front of DC, but I am SICK of men who think they can make comments and just carry on without being pulled up on it. I'm SICK OF IT. If I had been with my DH, I doubt very much he would have said anything.

I know IABU for using bad language in front of DC, but AIBU for how I handle my dog when out, or is he?

OP posts:
Threadkillacilla · 10/10/2022 14:47

Sounds like he was being a gobshite and you didn't just run past but escalated it.

Karrots · 10/10/2022 14:47

Don’t think this is about how you handle your dogs. It’s about him making passive aggressive comments and how you responded.

RoseslnTheHospital · 10/10/2022 14:50

Why get into an argument with a random man? Especially if it then descends into swearing. His initial comment was odd and fairly innocuous. I'd have just continued on my day and ignored him completely.

Mamamia7962 · 10/10/2022 14:53

Sometimes the best response is to completely ignore someone.

Raquelos · 10/10/2022 14:53

Fair play to you for standing up to him, he sounds a right bellend. For those who say they wouldn't have escalated, more fool them, this is why men like this continue to think they can get away with it.

I wouldn't worry about his kid, they are going to have worse issues than hearing some stranger's bad language if their Dad is this much of a dick!

Endosaurus · 10/10/2022 14:53

He was wrong to make digs, but you were wrong to run at his dogs without giving him time to recall and put them on leads too.

Most dogs will see another dog/person running towards them and naturally be curious and approach.

Banana2079 · 10/10/2022 14:55

👏 you did well OP X

Tillsforthrills · 10/10/2022 14:56

And you still get blamed…

Original poster
FeelingMoreFreeWithEveryYear · 10/10/2022 14:56

but you were wrong to run at his dogs without giving him time to recall and put them on leads too

At no time did he recall his dogs, or put them on a lead, even when we were past them and their dogs still had their nose up my dogs butt and another face in my dogs face. Initially he had at least a minutes walk between him and his dogs.

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 10/10/2022 14:59

You were both just as bad as each other, keep your dogs on leads.

Anonymous48 · 10/10/2022 15:02

ZeroFuchsGiven · 10/10/2022 14:59

You were both just as bad as each other, keep your dogs on leads.

Yes!

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 10/10/2022 15:02

Its annoying isn't it. The way I look at it is that their lives are so empty and lacking in agency and their only way to feel better about that is to harass women they don't know. Tragic really.

Cuppasoupmonster · 10/10/2022 15:04

Tillsforthrills · 10/10/2022 14:56

And you still get blamed…

Yep. Fucking arsehole! And you were right to say it. Well done for calling out the bull shit.

I often say to DH if you just followed me 10m behind, so we weren’t obviously ‘together’, you’d be shocked at the behaviour I encounter on an almost weekly basis from ‘random men’.

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 10/10/2022 15:04

Well done for standing up for yourself, ignore all the doormat comments. I have seen this kind of thing so often. It is because the gentleman has not trained his dogs and has no recall, then tries to cover this up by trying to blame you. He is an arsehole and deserved telling so.

AryaStarkWolf · 10/10/2022 15:04

Good for you for calling him out OP

sandytooth · 10/10/2022 15:05

He's not really a random man he was the dickhead owner of the other dogs?

elephantseal · 10/10/2022 15:06

He was a complete dick - for not being in control of your dogs, then for making a comment about you. What a twat.

MogandBunny · 10/10/2022 15:08

ZeroFuchsGiven · 10/10/2022 14:59

You were both just as bad as each other, keep your dogs on leads.

I thought the OP said she had her dog on a lead?

my dog was attacked
twice whilst on a lead. The last time she was bitten in the face. I would have been really upset by this as she is nervous as hell. I hate people who let their dogs roam free off lead to others dogs and I have shouted at a man whose dog was up my dogs arse after I’d politely asked him to recall his dog multiple times and he didn’t bother. He told me to calm down. Absolute twat.

Caroffee · 10/10/2022 15:09

RoseslnTheHospital · 10/10/2022 14:50

Why get into an argument with a random man? Especially if it then descends into swearing. His initial comment was odd and fairly innocuous. I'd have just continued on my day and ignored him completely.

There was nothing innocuous about his first comment, it was patronising and inflammatory. What planet do you live on?

Endosaurus · 10/10/2022 15:10

FeelingMoreFreeWithEveryYear · 10/10/2022 14:56

but you were wrong to run at his dogs without giving him time to recall and put them on leads too

At no time did he recall his dogs, or put them on a lead, even when we were past them and their dogs still had their nose up my dogs butt and another face in my dogs face. Initially he had at least a minutes walk between him and his dogs.

You said you kept running at 3 dogs who were off leads, and you how say the owner wasn't near them? What did you expect them to do roll over?

The man didn't need to be rude and that's not excusable.

hellcatspangle · 10/10/2022 15:12

ZeroFuchsGiven · 10/10/2022 14:59

You were both just as bad as each other, keep your dogs on leads.

What, so nobody should be allowed to run dogs off lead these days? 🙄

ZeroFuchsGiven · 10/10/2022 15:14

hellcatspangle · 10/10/2022 15:12

What, so nobody should be allowed to run dogs off lead these days? 🙄

Show quote history

Imo NO. There is nothing worse than a random dog coming up trying to sniff,drool,jump up. No matter how lovely the owner thinks it is.

Anonymous48 · 10/10/2022 15:15

hellcatspangle · 10/10/2022 15:12

What, so nobody should be allowed to run dogs off lead these days? 🙄

Show quote history

No, I don't think they should be able to.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 10/10/2022 15:16

Its also the off lead dog owners who conveniently didnt see their dog shit as its out of sight so no way could they know to pick it up.

SenoritaNaturista · 10/10/2022 15:18

Was this close to the Oxfordshire/Gloucestershire border perchance…?

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