Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some random bloke just started an argument with me. 

113 replies

FeelingMoreFreeWithEveryYear · 10/10/2022 14:44

I was just out running with my dog in the countryside near my house. I was absolutely minding my own business as I was determined to run 5K without stopping. My dog runs off lead, until I see another dog, which is rare, and I call him to heel or put on lead depending on situation. My dog doesn't like big dogs coming up to him and a while ago he was attacked by a pack of dogs and I thought he was toast! My dog totally minds his own business.

So, we were going along and these 3 dogs come round the corner without anyone with them. 2 large and 1 medium, so I put my dog on the lead and carry on running. No bother. I'm expecting owner to appear and call dogs back, but they don't. All 3 dogs start circling mine and sniffing his butt and one was in his face. I just carried on running. However, as I ran past the man started making comments to me very loudly, not sure for whose benefit in the middle of a field, about how "isn't it funny how people with dogs are the worst, and hate other dogs" and other comments. So, I stopped and said something about his dogs circling mine and he doesn't like it. Then he made some more comments and by this time I was enraged by this guy who I doubt would be saying all this if I was a man. So I told him I didn't think he was setting his DC a very good example making comments to a woman out on her own. Then he made some more comments, I can't even remember what, so I called him a F* Arsehole and jogged on with him shouting something as I left.

I'm not proud of using this language in front of DC, but I am SICK of men who think they can make comments and just carry on without being pulled up on it. I'm SICK OF IT. If I had been with my DH, I doubt very much he would have said anything.

I know IABU for using bad language in front of DC, but AIBU for how I handle my dog when out, or is he?

OP posts:
Original poster
FeelingMoreFreeWithEveryYear · 10/10/2022 15:18

keep your dogs on leads.

I'd already run 3K through bridle and other paths before I met them, the first people I saw. My dog runs around me and never runs off. He will return to heel immediately and stay at my ankle till commanded. He is well trained in this. Mostly I call him to heel if we see other dogs and then pass them, but if those dogs are coming over and they are bigger, then I'll put him on the lead in seconds. He clearly can't call his dogs to heel nor could he be bothered to when he saw that his 3 dogs were hassling mine.

I accept that my dog not liking other dogs bigger than him is part of the problem. However, I don't get why some owners have massive dogs and they think small dogs are going to jump for joy when they see them coming towards them in a group?

OP posts:
WahineToa · 10/10/2022 15:21

Good for you. I’m sick of it too. Of course sometimes you can and do ignore it, but there’s no rule saying women have to just take this shit day in day out.

Original poster
FeelingMoreFreeWithEveryYear · 10/10/2022 15:24

You said you kept running at 3 dogs who were off leads

I didn't run at the dogs. They came round a corner on our run, or a twist in the road shaded by trees and they were on their own. I immediately put my dog on his lead, and we then carried on running. The dogs doubled back and ran with us, sniffing his butt and getting in front of him. About a minute later, the owner appeared. By this time I was running along with my dog, their dogs in tow and when we got to the owner they carried on following me for a bit but then I stopped to have this exchange with him. I didn't run at any dogs.

OP posts:
Original poster
FeelingMoreFreeWithEveryYear · 10/10/2022 15:28

No, Senorita

OP posts:
Endosaurus · 10/10/2022 15:28

FeelingMoreFreeWithEveryYear · 10/10/2022 15:24

You said you kept running at 3 dogs who were off leads

I didn't run at the dogs. They came round a corner on our run, or a twist in the road shaded by trees and they were on their own. I immediately put my dog on his lead, and we then carried on running. The dogs doubled back and ran with us, sniffing his butt and getting in front of him. About a minute later, the owner appeared. By this time I was running along with my dog, their dogs in tow and when we got to the owner they carried on following me for a bit but then I stopped to have this exchange with him. I didn't run at any dogs.

I immediately put my dog on his lead, and we then carried on running.

Lemonyfuckit · 10/10/2022 15:29

Good for you OP for standing up to him. Why SHOULD women just put up with bullshit from random men? (If you feel safe in the circumstances to do so).

MissyB1 · 10/10/2022 15:37

bloody hell it’s depressing how many posters want the OP to feel guilty, she did nothing wrong! She went for a run with her well behaved dog and a random man didn’t like it! Men like that can fuck right off! 😡

DiddlyDoris · 10/10/2022 15:41

YANBU

He sounds like a d1ck, and a poor dog owner to boot! He should've had his three dogs nearer to him and put them on lead when spotting your dog on lead. Let alone the weird comments.

You've done nothing wrong

saleorbouy · 10/10/2022 15:46

I don't think this matters whether the owner is male or female, only that they lack responsibility for the control their dogs and seem unable to discuss their issue with you reasonably.
Resorting to swearing infront of his DC is hardly a great example to set either.

Penguinsaregreat · 10/10/2022 15:49

He is a twat.
Nothing more to say. Well done op. And no, he really would not have spoken like that to a bloke who looked like he would knock the crap out of him.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/10/2022 15:49

He's a weirdo but so are you for engaging with him.

Summerfun54321 · 10/10/2022 15:51

Take a squeezy bottle of water with you on your run to blast at the harassing dogs.

Rosehugger · 10/10/2022 15:56

Good for you. I'd have escalated if I was in the mood. I'm sure he was pretty embarassed.

Chlobo89 · 10/10/2022 15:56

Good for you! People are weird on here about dogs but you did the right thing with yours. Of course dogs should be allowed to run off lead as long as they come back when called it’s not a problem.
The man was a twat, probably because he knew he was in the wrong.

Rosehugger · 10/10/2022 15:58

And if he was any sort of a dog owner, he'd know that three dogs v one can always be an issue, no matter how chilled the dogs all are. I bet his wife walks the dog most of the time and he hasn't a clue.

purpleboy · 10/10/2022 16:01

Endosaurus · 10/10/2022 14:53

He was wrong to make digs, but you were wrong to run at his dogs without giving him time to recall and put them on leads too.

Most dogs will see another dog/person running towards them and naturally be curious and approach.

Yes op you must make sure you stop running so the poor idiot with no recall can get his dogs back! God forbid people actually take responsibility for their own dogs.

If your dog goes up to people or other dogs without being invited then you are also a twatty dog owner.

You did nothing wrong op ignore this poster who is clearly having a shit day and desperately trying to pull you down to their level!

Whattaweapon · 10/10/2022 16:09

Good on you OP, I have had a few of these types of incidents myself. Seems some men just can't resist an opportunity to have a pop at a woman.

Spanielsarepainless · 10/10/2022 16:18

A bloke wouldn't care about using 'language' in front of children. When I ran I walked past other dogs.

courgettigreensadwater · 10/10/2022 16:22

@ZeroFuchsGiven my dog is often off the lead and wouldn't have any interest whatsoever in sniffing or jumping up at you.

lovelypidgeon · 10/10/2022 16:26

I have a reactive rescue dog who is always on a lead in public places, and wears a muzzle which most sensible people see as a clue that he might not be keen on being approached. I have lost count of the number of people who have allowed their off-lead dogs to run at my dog face on (whilst I am clearly trying to distract mine/get him out of the way) and then made passive aggressive comments (to no one in particular) about how some dogs shouldn't be out in public etc etc when he growls at them. Every time I have made any comment back they have become aggressive and I have frequently been told that I should walk him at night or have him put to sleep. My DH has never had these comments made to him- which I'm sure must be coincidence and nothing to do with him being a rather big gruff looking bloke whereas I am a small middle aged woman.

So no, OP YANBU. FWIW, I have never had nasty comments from owners with well controlled off-lead dogs, or who put them on a lead when they see us coming.

OfficerArrestThatRuffian · 10/10/2022 16:45

Sorry, am I understanding this correctly: this all began because random man was offended by the fact you kept running with your dog (on a lead) as opposed to, what, bending down and scratching his dogs' ears or something? Hence his initial passive aggressive comment about dog owners not liking other dogs?

I've heard of men thinking they're permanently entitled to women's time but I didn't realise the massive entitlement also extended to their pets!

The only reason I would advise you not to say something back is for your own safety. Otherwise there is absolutely no reason on earth that women should meekly put up with this sort of passive aggressive, slack-jawed idiocy from strange men.

Fairislefandango · 10/10/2022 16:52

You did nothing wrong wrt how you dealt with your dog and the other dogs, you were well within your rights to make the comment about his dogs circling yours, given that he'd already started the conversation with you. However, I would have definitely left it at that. Yes he was a total arse and no, I don't suppose he would have talked the same way to a man. But there was no need for you to escalate things and swear at him in front of your dc. You gained nothing ftom doing so, and you'd already expressed your disapproval of how he let his dogs behave.

BatteryPoweredMammy · 10/10/2022 16:55

Endosaurus · 10/10/2022 14:53

He was wrong to make digs, but you were wrong to run at his dogs without giving him time to recall and put them on leads too.

Most dogs will see another dog/person running towards them and naturally be curious and approach.

Bollocks to that. His dogs were not on a lead…end of story.
If you want to wander around with your dog(s) off lead, you take the consequences.

Anonymous48 · 10/10/2022 16:57

Spanielsarepainless · 10/10/2022 16:18

A bloke wouldn't care about using 'language' in front of children. When I ran I walked past other dogs.

What are you talking about? Maybe the men you know. But my husband wouldn't have been at all happy about someone using bad language in front of our children when they were young. It's inappropriate.

CaptainMyCaptain · 10/10/2022 16:58

Threadkillacilla · 10/10/2022 14:47

Sounds like he was being a gobshite and you didn't just run past but escalated it.

Yes. I would have ignored him and kept on running.

Swipe left for the next trending thread